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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you offer a lift in this situation?

116 replies

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:32

If a friend who lives close to you is having a birthday party close by, and your other friends are coming too, but they live a 45 minute drive away, would you offer to go and pick them up and give them a lift to the party?

OP posts:
Error404FucksNotFound · 11/07/2026 12:59

You realise you'll get bullied into driving them home, right? Once they're there and you haven't had a drink, it'll get to the end of the evening and ooh whoops looks like theres no way for them to get home well theyll just have to be driven back by you...

rainbowstardrops · 11/07/2026 12:55

GSolis · 11/07/2026 11:17

I have said I won’t drink so I will drive back but I have said I am not taking them home.

I am disappointed in DH for saying yes because firstly I think they are taking the piss, I do not think they’d do the same in return. It not logical for him to do this when the party is happening here! We are already at the location! But plus, we are very very strapped for cash at the moment I needed the petrol in our car to last all week. We share a car and we only have a few bars of petrol left which will do me to get to work and back until Friday when I get paid. But now he’s going to have to top up today which is going to cut into our money for the weekly food shop tomorrow and I’m probably going to have to borrow money from someone or put the food shopping on a credit card. All because he wanted to be “nice” to his friends. It’s just annoying. But he says that anyone would do the same in this position and I didn’t think that was true, so wanted to ask here

Edited
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That makes it even worse then!

goingtotown · 11/07/2026 12:50

Absolutely not. Let your DH pick them up & when he takes them home pissed he’ll possibly be clearing up their vomit🤢

BMW58 · 11/07/2026 12:41

Tell him to get petrol money from them as your finances are so tight.

ColdAsAWitches · 11/07/2026 12:38

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:54

They are close friends and it’s my husband who they have asked and my husband has agreed to it. I said why have you said yes?! And he got angry at me saying it’s his decision and why do I care? Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for thinking he should’ve said no

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That's not the question you asked though. You asked us all if we would offer. No, not out of the blue. But if a friend asked, I would consider it. It's a completely different situation.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 11/07/2026 12:36

I wouldn't do it and I'm not watching the pennies. Your DH is an idiot for agreeing in this situation.

Goldengirl123 · 11/07/2026 12:24

Very cheeky!! Do they drive? How are they getting home?

PrincessofWills · 11/07/2026 12:21

They can take an uber

TheIdlerReturns · 11/07/2026 12:12

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:54

They are close friends and it’s my husband who they have asked and my husband has agreed to it. I said why have you said yes?! And he got angry at me saying it’s his decision and why do I care? Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for thinking he should’ve said no

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OP, why are your friends asking your DH to do this? Complete cheek. Baffles me why he's said yes. I'd be angry at your friends for approaching DH not you. Confused.

honeylulu · 11/07/2026 12:11

When you told him you would not be driving them home so he would have to stay sober after all to drive them home, did that not make a difference?

This. OP, have you made clear to your husband that if they want a lift home he will have to take them. So you might as well get a couple of drinks down your neck at the party!

TheIdlerReturns · 11/07/2026 12:10

Why would you do that? Is someone expecting you to do that?

BillieWiper · 11/07/2026 12:08

No. Why should you? It would only be reasonable if your house was near to theirs, not to the party venue.

I mean if they were the types who would do a similar favour then I might do if they asked and I wasn't busy. But I certainly wouldn't offer.

5foot5 · 11/07/2026 12:01

So I understand from your last update that you have offered to not drink so you can drive you and your DH home. So does that mean he was planning to have a drink at the party? But his offer of a lift to his friends seems to assume you will take them home afterwards. When you told him you would not be driving them home so he would have to stay sober after all to drive them home, did that not make a difference?

Have you spelt out the financial reality of the petrol costs, that you will have to do without or get in to debt as a result of this gesture of his? Honestly he sounds like a ridiculous people pleaser or someone who wants to be the over-generous mate who never says no.

BinBasedKarma · 11/07/2026 11:52

Surely it would make more sense for your friends to collect you on the way?

Dollymylove · 11/07/2026 11:51

It would be dependent upon you not being able to have a few drinks because they expect a lift home as well.
Either way its a no from me

havingoneofthosedays · 11/07/2026 11:51

Yes, I value my friendships

Shewas · 11/07/2026 11:36

If they offer petrol money, you might end up better off? I'd certainly expect not to be buying any drinks.

SockPlant · 11/07/2026 11:20

have you explained to him about the finances of it?

tell him to ask them for petrol money. He's a stupid pratt taking money from your household to look like a hero. Ask him for examples of when his friends have done similar for him.

honeylulu · 11/07/2026 11:20

Well that's up to him but I think it's CF of them to ask and ridiculous of him to say yes. So he does a 1.5 hour round trip to collect them, then go to a party down the road ... what happens after? Another 1.5 hour trip to take them home?

Do they not drive? If not why not?

patooties · 11/07/2026 11:19

If I liked them - and it was not difficult for me - I’d also offer them to stay over.
friends do stuff like this - I would hope they would pay it forward

ovals · 11/07/2026 11:19

I’d definitely pick them up at the start of the night, but they could sort a cab home.

Original poster
GSolis · 11/07/2026 11:17

rainbowstardrops · 11/07/2026 10:58

What an idiot! Presumably he’ll have to take them back home again later?!
Why did they ask? Is it because they want to drink? And now your DH can’t!

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I have said I won’t drink so I will drive back but I have said I am not taking them home.

I am disappointed in DH for saying yes because firstly I think they are taking the piss, I do not think they’d do the same in return. It not logical for him to do this when the party is happening here! We are already at the location! But plus, we are very very strapped for cash at the moment I needed the petrol in our car to last all week. We share a car and we only have a few bars of petrol left which will do me to get to work and back until Friday when I get paid. But now he’s going to have to top up today which is going to cut into our money for the weekly food shop tomorrow and I’m probably going to have to borrow money from someone or put the food shopping on a credit card. All because he wanted to be “nice” to his friends. It’s just annoying. But he says that anyone would do the same in this position and I didn’t think that was true, so wanted to ask here

OP posts:
Weeellokthen · 11/07/2026 11:17

I would pick my dfs up to take them but not drop off afterwards.
I think it's a bit weird everyone saying they would not 🙄
Mumsnet is a different world, to my lived life though 😂
But then again, I understand on mumsnetland most don't answer the doorbell or will absolutely not have family visits without prior invitation 😂
Different world

Jaxhog · 11/07/2026 11:12

Not a problem if he's doing the driving and you don't have to go with him. Also that he doesn't drink and drive.

pinksheetss · 11/07/2026 11:12

You are reasonable to say no to YOU doing it. You are unreasonable to be annoyed if it’s just your husband going to do it and it doesn’t affect your day