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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you offer a lift in this situation?

116 replies

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:32

If a friend who lives close to you is having a birthday party close by, and your other friends are coming too, but they live a 45 minute drive away, would you offer to go and pick them up and give them a lift to the party?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 11/07/2026 16:12

Why is he prioritising their wants over your needs ie those of needing the car to have enough gas for the week/being able to buy food without resorting to a credit card? Do you have joint finances? If not, he needs to top up the petrol.

JustGiveMeReason · 11/07/2026 15:40

That's ridiculous - and I speak as someone quite happy to give lifts under most circumstances where many MNer wouldn't.

I would have said "We are going to walk. If you want to get here, you can walk with us and then crash on our living room floor for the night?"

But I can't believe they would ask in the first place.
Nor can I understand why your dh said yes.

januaryjanuarydone · 11/07/2026 15:33

Id only drive that distance for elderly relatives who had no other way of getting somewhere. No chance I’d do it for anyone else.
What is your DH going to do about the petrol money?

Shinyandnew1 · 11/07/2026 15:33

Why have they asked-what reason have they given for not driving themselves?

TeenToTwenties · 11/07/2026 15:28

No way.
1.5 hrs to pick up.
A likely last minute 1.5 hrs at the end of the evening.
Suggest they drive themselves and ask to stay over at hosts!

2025MUM2025 · 11/07/2026 15:20

No

JHound · 11/07/2026 15:18

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:54

They are close friends and it’s my husband who they have asked and my husband has agreed to it. I said why have you said yes?! And he got angry at me saying it’s his decision and why do I care? Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for thinking he should’ve said no

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You are in the wrong as it’s nothing to do with you.

Duvetdayneeded · 11/07/2026 15:17

If you’re that strapped for cash that you can’t afford the petrol then your dh is definitely a dock

Doubtanny · 11/07/2026 15:12

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:54

They are close friends and it’s my husband who they have asked and my husband has agreed to it. I said why have you said yes?! And he got angry at me saying it’s his decision and why do I care? Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for thinking he should’ve said no

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Yeah well then you are in the wrong because nobody is asking you to give a lift.

Shinyandnew1 · 11/07/2026 15:08

Do they know you are short for cash and this will cost you in petrol that you can’t afford?!

Rude to ask.
Daft of your husband to agree.
I’d have a drink if I were you-then he can drive you home before he takes them.

Oxo01 · 11/07/2026 15:04

GSolis · 11/07/2026 11:17

I have said I won’t drink so I will drive back but I have said I am not taking them home.

I am disappointed in DH for saying yes because firstly I think they are taking the piss, I do not think they’d do the same in return. It not logical for him to do this when the party is happening here! We are already at the location! But plus, we are very very strapped for cash at the moment I needed the petrol in our car to last all week. We share a car and we only have a few bars of petrol left which will do me to get to work and back until Friday when I get paid. But now he’s going to have to top up today which is going to cut into our money for the weekly food shop tomorrow and I’m probably going to have to borrow money from someone or put the food shopping on a credit card. All because he wanted to be “nice” to his friends. It’s just annoying. But he says that anyone would do the same in this position and I didn’t think that was true, so wanted to ask here

Edited
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Tell him that the cost of petrol for you / him would probarly be more than if friends shared a cab / uber.
If he insists he should ask for petrol money at least.
Alternatly whatever amount you are short for food shop i would try and make it up by buying food for a few days just for you and tell him he can buy for himself to the amount he left you short of.
Maybe not be possible for you to do but for sure I would not buy his favourites or treats if applicable or / and not cook for him for a few days at least. But i can be a bit petty occasionally 😂

ovals · 11/07/2026 14:38

Do you lot like your mates? I’d happily collect them to save them a few quid. They’d have to get a cab home.

SummerHasArrivedatLast · 11/07/2026 14:32

Not unless they have no other way of getting to the party AND the party will be more enjoyable with them there AND you have a mutually cooperative relationship.

If I know and like them enough I might let them have a spare room for the night, but I would expect a lift to the party or a shared taxi.

Nearly50omg · 11/07/2026 14:31

You need to tell the friends they will have to pay for the petrol as you are skint and can’t afford it!!

Nearly50omg · 11/07/2026 14:29

They want you to drive 3 Hours + to save them 1.5 hours?!?! NO

Bonbon21 · 11/07/2026 14:27

He'd be having beans on toast every night til payday, if they don't cough up petrol money...

Lindy2 · 11/07/2026 14:26

No.

If someone is suggesting you do this they appear to have mistaken you for a taxi.

Notarsed · 11/07/2026 14:25

Notarsed · 11/07/2026 14:22

He's a fucking idiot! By doing a 1.5 mile needless round trip he's either leaving you short for your food bill as you'll need to top up the petrol or you'll need to put the food on the credit card?! His one and only brain cell must be incredibly lonely in there

Sorry, 1.5 hrs not miles

mamajong · 11/07/2026 14:24

I might if they are good friends and I was driving anyway and they had limited options, but I quite enjoy driving and my friends have been really supportive of me in other scenarios. I certainly wouldn't feel obliged if it was convenient though

Notarsed · 11/07/2026 14:22

He's a fucking idiot! By doing a 1.5 mile needless round trip he's either leaving you short for your food bill as you'll need to top up the petrol or you'll need to put the food on the credit card?! His one and only brain cell must be incredibly lonely in there

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/07/2026 13:55

Does dh reliese how skint you both are and to do this nice favour means you wil struggle

I get wanting to help friends

if it is a party will dh get wankered and spend more money you don’t have

how will they get home ?

ERthree · 11/07/2026 13:52

And do they expect you to take them home again?

Twoflowertourist · 11/07/2026 13:19

Have you asked him or them how they are getting home? I think you’re going to be guilt tripped into taking them home on the night.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 11/07/2026 13:14

GSolis · 11/07/2026 11:17

I have said I won’t drink so I will drive back but I have said I am not taking them home.

I am disappointed in DH for saying yes because firstly I think they are taking the piss, I do not think they’d do the same in return. It not logical for him to do this when the party is happening here! We are already at the location! But plus, we are very very strapped for cash at the moment I needed the petrol in our car to last all week. We share a car and we only have a few bars of petrol left which will do me to get to work and back until Friday when I get paid. But now he’s going to have to top up today which is going to cut into our money for the weekly food shop tomorrow and I’m probably going to have to borrow money from someone or put the food shopping on a credit card. All because he wanted to be “nice” to his friends. It’s just annoying. But he says that anyone would do the same in this position and I didn’t think that was true, so wanted to ask here

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He is mad if you are that strapped for cash.

He needs to ask them to pay for petrol at least.

SunnyRedSnail · 11/07/2026 13:05

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:54

They are close friends and it’s my husband who they have asked and my husband has agreed to it. I said why have you said yes?! And he got angry at me saying it’s his decision and why do I care? Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for thinking he should’ve said no

Show quote history

So they asked your husband because they think he is a pushover/mug?

Are they expecting him to do a 90 minute round trip to take them home??

He made his bed so he can lie in it. He agreed so it's him that can not drink all night.

Surely one of them has a car and can drive???