Would you offer a lift in this situation?

GSolis · 2026-07-11T09:32:51+00:00

If a friend who lives close to you is having a birthday party close by, and your other friends are coming too, but they live a 45 minute drive away, would you offer to go and pick them up and give them a lift to the party?

Noshowlomo · 14/07/2026 19:33

I wouldn’t even go to the party, let him sort it all out

nomas · 14/07/2026 19:31

Why would you enable this by driving them back?

Text them and say they need to get a taxi.

MindfulM · 14/07/2026 19:30

no

User573359 · 14/07/2026 18:28

Wow, that's a long way. I assume you live somewhere rural. I have volunteered my partner to drive friends after a night out when he isn't going to be drinking, BUT only to the train station on our way home, nowhere out of his way.

Could you find a similar solution? Say that your check engine light keeps coming on when you drive more than short distances and you can't get it into a garage until (after the party) sorry, I can drop you off at a station if that helps.

Shinyandnew1 · 14/07/2026 18:10

Has the party been and gone? What happened?

paulinespecial · 12/07/2026 21:53

No I’d if I’m close by I’d expect one of them to drive and bring the others.

NeedSleepNowPls · 12/07/2026 21:21

Why are you the one not drinking and borrowing money because of his decision? He needs to be the one doing those things as he's caused the problem. He can sort the consequences out too (while you have a drink and enjoy the party)

Ponderingwindow · 12/07/2026 17:28

Not even if I didn’t plan to drink.

the fact that this is going to hurt you financially makes it ridiculous. I understand that at certain economic levels there is a culture of helping one another out, but as an outsider, my observation is that this is often abused. Some people take and some people give more than they have. Would the people he is driving really do the same for him?

SophiaSW1 · 12/07/2026 17:20

No

NeedToKnow101 · 12/07/2026 16:54

My DP has picked up and taken friends long distances in situations where I wouldn’t dream of asking him to do the same for me (I drive but don’t like driving much). Or ask my friends to do. I find it odd that his friends even ask him. A recent request was to a shop and back, about 45 minutes drive away in the middle of the day, in London, where you can get tube or bus everywhere. He actually said no to that one.

Teenypodge · 12/07/2026 16:37

It's completely illogical - he'll be doing 2 round trips rather than them just doing 1 round trip if they sorted themselves out. Sorry OP. My DP.does stuff like this too. The intention is always kind but it's rarely thought through. it's poor form from your friends to let him too.

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 12/07/2026 15:43

Of course not! And reading your other posts, you really can’t afford it either! He needs to ask for petrol money if he’s going to be such a yes man!

wayfairer · 12/07/2026 15:08

They should be paying for the petrol at the least! If their real friends!

Whatthefork1 · 12/07/2026 14:39

I would do this for a good friend, yes. I wouldn’t take them home though, I’d offer them to stay over at my house or they can get a taxi home.

Noodles1234 · 12/07/2026 14:35

No, I would never expect anyone to give me a lift, or offer one.

I might think the one furthest away woukd drive and may offer to collect them or even you, but only if they offer.

caefe · 11/07/2026 17:56

MmeDubois7 · 11/07/2026 16:37

The expense of the petrol.

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I hadn’t read it was an issue until after I said that. I then straight away posted that it altered my opinion. It would be far better if OP hadn’t been so vague.

AnnaQuayRules · 11/07/2026 17:00

Absolutely not. I might offer a bed for the night if I had the space though

Londonrach1 · 11/07/2026 16:58

No why would you. It's no where near you and cost you a lot of money in petrol

Londonrach1 · 11/07/2026 16:58

No why would you. It's no where near you and cost you a lot of money in petrol

ManyATrueWord · 11/07/2026 16:55

I would be feeding him jacket potato with marge for a week to make the poin that he has spent the food money.
You don't gamble with the grocery money and you don't spend the grocery money on your need to be the hero.

MmeDubois7 · 11/07/2026 16:37

caefe · 11/07/2026 16:25

If he is happy to do it, what’s the issue? I would say no bc I couldn’t be arsed but if someone else doesn’t mind that’s ok too.

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The expense of the petrol.

MmeDubois7 · 11/07/2026 16:37

No

caefe · 11/07/2026 16:27

GSolis · 11/07/2026 11:17

I have said I won’t drink so I will drive back but I have said I am not taking them home.

I am disappointed in DH for saying yes because firstly I think they are taking the piss, I do not think they’d do the same in return. It not logical for him to do this when the party is happening here! We are already at the location! But plus, we are very very strapped for cash at the moment I needed the petrol in our car to last all week. We share a car and we only have a few bars of petrol left which will do me to get to work and back until Friday when I get paid. But now he’s going to have to top up today which is going to cut into our money for the weekly food shop tomorrow and I’m probably going to have to borrow money from someone or put the food shopping on a credit card. All because he wanted to be “nice” to his friends. It’s just annoying. But he says that anyone would do the same in this position and I didn’t think that was true, so wanted to ask here

Edited

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Before asking here you should have given all the information because I just said it’s fine if he wants to but given it’s going to being financial strain to your relationship obviously it’s ridiculous for him to consider it.

caefe · 11/07/2026 16:25

GSolis · 11/07/2026 10:54

They are close friends and it’s my husband who they have asked and my husband has agreed to it. I said why have you said yes?! And he got angry at me saying it’s his decision and why do I care? Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for thinking he should’ve said no

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If he is happy to do it, what’s the issue? I would say no bc I couldn’t be arsed but if someone else doesn’t mind that’s ok too.

Datafan55 · 11/07/2026 16:23

GSolis · 11/07/2026 11:17

I have said I won’t drink so I will drive back but I have said I am not taking them home.

I am disappointed in DH for saying yes because firstly I think they are taking the piss, I do not think they’d do the same in return. It not logical for him to do this when the party is happening here! We are already at the location! But plus, we are very very strapped for cash at the moment I needed the petrol in our car to last all week. We share a car and we only have a few bars of petrol left which will do me to get to work and back until Friday when I get paid. But now he’s going to have to top up today which is going to cut into our money for the weekly food shop tomorrow and I’m probably going to have to borrow money from someone or put the food shopping on a credit card. All because he wanted to be “nice” to his friends. It’s just annoying. But he says that anyone would do the same in this position and I didn’t think that was true, so wanted to ask here

Edited

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'I'll give you a lift if you give me a lift to work all week...' :-)