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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be hurt I’m not invited to the whole of my friend’s 50th?

584 replies

ArcanaQueen · 11/07/2026 10:31

I’m part of a 6 women friendship group. The group has quite a strong identity, we always meet for each other’s birthdays and we go away for a weekend together every year. One of the group is having a glamping/camping party for her 50th. It has become apparent that while I’m only invited for the Saturday night, the rest of the friendship group is invited for Friday and Saturday nights. I get that she and I aren’t as close as some of the relationships in the group. She sent me a text saying do I mind just coming on Saturday as she’s trying to keep numbers low for Friday. AIBU to feel quite hurt? Saturday night is the main party night with more people coming so perhaps I should just feel happy with that, and ordinarily I would if it wasn’t for the friend group context re. the Friday night, which just feels a bit “ouch”.

OP posts:
Nanda66 · 11/07/2026 10:44

So she wants to keep the numbers low by reducing it from 6 to 5? That’s very hurtful, I’m sorry.

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 11/07/2026 10:44

I would feel very hurt as well and if I were part of the other five it would make me feel a bit awkward. Personally I would give the party a swerve now.

A671090 · 11/07/2026 10:43

Genevieva · 11/07/2026 10:37

I never understand why people do this. It turns a celebration into something mean-spirited, leaving a sour taste in the mouth. What difference would one extra friend make on the Friday night. The damage is done now. The spell is broken and this friendship group will take a permanent hit because of her partisan behaviour.

Unfortunately, I have no advice for you. You must do as you feel best. If that involves inviting the rest of the group to something without her, go for it. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. If, on the other hand, you want to pretend it is OK, then do that and let the hurt wash over you. There is no right way to deal with these things because they aren't situations you should have to deal with.

I absolutely agree with this!

DachshundThruTheSn0w · 11/07/2026 10:42

I'm not surprised your feeling hurt op, I think I would also find it very difficult to go at all.

AnNonnyMouse3 · 11/07/2026 10:42

No way would I meekly accept crumbs from her table. I’d not go to any of it. Let your absence hang in the air, and require her to explain it to the others.

Shedmistress · 11/07/2026 10:42

'I'll do you a favour and help you keep numbers lower for Saturday as well.'

Iloveacurry · 11/07/2026 10:40

I’d probably be reconsidering my friendship with her. And what about the others? Have any of them said anything?

Genevieva · 11/07/2026 10:37

I never understand why people do this. It turns a celebration into something mean-spirited, leaving a sour taste in the mouth. What difference would one extra friend make on the Friday night. The damage is done now. The spell is broken and this friendship group will take a permanent hit because of her partisan behaviour.

Unfortunately, I have no advice for you. You must do as you feel best. If that involves inviting the rest of the group to something without her, go for it. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. If, on the other hand, you want to pretend it is OK, then do that and let the hurt wash over you. There is no right way to deal with these things because they aren't situations you should have to deal with.

JHITRM77 · 11/07/2026 10:35

That would really hurt my feelings tbh I'd consider not going at all. It's quite a pointed snub if the other 5 are going 💐