To be hurt I’m not invited to the whole of my friend’s 50th?

I would say now it won’t be possible for you to get the cake as you have plans during the day Saturday. I wouldn’t turn up on the Saturday evening with my two. If asked why you didn’t manage to go I’d keep my response very light and breezy to everyone. Keep her at arms length forever.

I’d probably make some excuse for not going on the Saturday and not say anything else. I’d clock it and keep it in the back of my mind for the future . Just rise above it. If anyone makes a comment to you about missing the Saturday just say oh? I didn’t think I’d be missed?
It’s horrible when the kids are disappointed though . I would not be picking up the cake under any circumstances.

It’s really mean to exclude one person from a group of six. If she was really counting numbers she could have said three on Friday and three on Saturday. Or none of you on the Friday. I would message her and say you are not available for Saturday and have a nice time. Do something nice with the kids. And later tell her how hurt you were to be the only one of your group excluded.

I'm in a friendship group of 6 women too and I would be upset by this.

Naturally, some in the group are closer to each other than others. However, we don't rub anyone's face in this by only inviting some and not others to group events! I think your friend is being very rude.

I never understand why people do this. It turns a celebration into something mean-spirited, leaving a sour taste in the mouth. What difference would one extra friend make on the Friday night. The damage is done now. The spell is broken and this friendship group will take a permanent hit because of her partisan behaviour.

Totally agree. Its nasty, hurtful, and bizarrely unkind behaviour to exclude one person from an existing friendship group.

Noone has to invite everyone to everything but to exclude one friend in particular when everyone else is coming is just cruel.

I would be stepping back from this person as I would assume she has some kind of problem with you (jealousy etc)

I’d just message back saying can’t make the Saturday, and don’t give any reason. Then step away and leave them all to it.

Except the “cheeky cunt” didn’t ask her to bring the cake - another friend asked that. I get the feeling OP is drip feeding pieces of info for maximum impact

of course thats why I was calling it childish :D

And this advice is terrible too. Way to stoop to an even lower level.

The dads arent close with her dh. Yet another reason!

Nuts to that.
Dont go and dont pick up the cake.

Wow. You sound pretty unpleasant. I think that PP is right.

Yep agree, it's awfully bad form. I don't buy this "be the better person" and put up with peoples shitty behaviour for an easy life, It just gives cheeky fuckers an excuse to walk all over you, she's not important enough to be invited for the whole thing but she's important enough to collect and drop off the cake, it's not on.

Why doesn’t she pick up her cake on the Friday?

stupid cow. Poor planning

has she deliberately left you out so that you can gwt her cake for her?

The thing is, even if she now turned around and said "Oh no, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings @ArcanaQueen, come along to Friday as well" would you want to go? I don't think I could, worrying I was not wanted.

I would decline the whole thing tbh.

this answer nails it!

"No worries [bitchface's name], I'll help you keep numbers down but not coming at all. Hope it pisses down and you get struck by lightening."

I agree I don’t understand why people pointedly leave others out. I’d rather it be a squeeze than that. There are other times to see people individually.

Please don't do this. If she cared she wouldn't have left her out.

Don't give yourself more opportunity to be hurt further. Its not you- or maybe it is but she should have been a grown up and told you rather than this nonsense so its still her.

Feel the sting, learn from it and move on.

It’s highly unlikely to. Some people will just acknowledge they’re not as close to the host as others and be perfectly philosophical, others will be delighted to get out of camping for a weekend.

Agree.

Leaving just one person out of the group is simpling you! I definately would not be going on the Saturday. They will all be there talking about the night before and youll be there listening to it knowing you werent invited. No thanks! She sounds very mean! What have the other friends said about it?

Id answer her honestly and say you do feel hurt and left out, as every other member of the group has been invited to the Friday. Also say how you would feel joining after everyone else on the Saturday ? Hurt ? Excluded ? Not wanted? Just be honest - no need to spare her feelings etc as she hasn't spared yours. Sometimes people are just selfish and thoughtless - and you cant change that - but you dont have to agree with it - or make it ok for them.

Nah, that's like doing the desperate 'pick me' dance. The 'friend' has, for whatever reason, deliberately excluded OP. The wider friend group appear to know and are ok with it. Shitty behaviour from the lot of them. And all these people were at OP's hen do and wedding just a few weeks ago.

If I was OP I'd arrange something more fun than glamping for me and my kids to do that weekend (let's face it, just about anything is more fun than glamping) and find myself a new friend group.

Well put.