To feel sad when a friend cancels plans by just ignoring you?

Sure, dead people read messages.

Unreasonable to be upset. Be angry instead. It’s incredibly rude. A person who is flaky with plans and with responding to messages just wouldn’t be compatible with me in terms of friendship because it drives me up the wall.

Dont make plans going forw. Op finding this alot people flaky. Ignore messsges super keen to meet then silence. I just dont bother now. Or the catch up soon xx ones. Binned. Lol.

I'm sure people generally never used to be so rude. People not replying to texts and emails. Tradesmen not replying to voice messages. Businesses not replying to job applicants. Maybe it's just general overwhelm and the chaotic vibe of modern life?

The messages have been read so she isn't dead in a ditch.

It takes 30 seconds to cancel. If something had come up at work she could have done that, or if she was ill, or a family member was ill etc.

If something terrible had happened like a sudden death in the family or a serious car accident where someone had ended up in ICU you can understand her not replying to the OP.

It's unlikely to be that though. People have just become really flaky these days.

I don’t care if someone cancels on me, I care about being stood up. I actually fell out with one of my oldest friends over her standing me up when we had gone massively out of our way to accommodate her. She never did mention it. Last I heard she just said she had ‘missed us’ last time. No.

I wouldn't be initiating another plan. Let her drive this friendship if she wants to. This sort of communication wouldn't work for me. I can understand you feeling deflated.

Did she answer a message before you sent another? Unless it was a very close friend I wouldn't double message.

I hope you have other more reliable friends. Sadly some people do behave like this. I wouldn't take it personally but equally I wouldn't sign up for more of this.

Drop her (from a great height!) She's no friend.

Yes it's awful. I had a friend who did that a lot. She was hugely flaky and I think she liked the idea of going out but nearer the time couldn't be bothered to get ready and leave the house. Not so bad if she was meeting us in a group as we'd just carry on without her but if it was one to one I'd be left hanging thinking is this happening or not.

The most irritating thing was that she would just go radio silent and stop answering messages. If I managed to get hold of her on the phone (the days of land lines!) she'd say oh, I was just about to call you, I'm feeling a bit under the weather ... But if not she'd just ignore. Another friend got annoyed about it and had a go at her. She said "I was afraid you'd be cross with me for not coming". Well, it's not as annoying as not telling someone you aren't coming and leaving them hanging around like a limp dick.

It's avoidant behaviour and it's selfish. I know someone will pop up and say mental health, be understanding blah blah. But it can do a number on the mental health of the poor friend left rejected and ignored!

Agree.
Block, ignore, move on with your life

It takes seconds to drop a "under it, sorry can't make tonight" text

I agree, that’s damned rude ignoring you.

Unless something really major has happened (i.e. someone had died or been taken to hospital), she is not your friend. Don’t waste your time on people who don’t respect you.

She’s not your friend.

I can’t text at work but I can sometimes read messages to see if it’s important and if not I’ll respond later.

I would understand that she couldn’t respond during her working hours but there’s no excuse to not send you a quick text after work and apologise to say she’s not coming.

I wouldn’t even bother telling her how hurt you are etc.
Just completely ignore her from this point onwards.

You’re not unreasonable to be upset if that’s what has happened, but my first assumption would be that “oh no something awful must have happened to her” and I’d be trying to find out that’s she okay.

Then if she is in fact fine and just ignoring you, go really overboard about how it’s so worrying because that’s obviously not how normal (polite) people behave!

Yeah, that's rubbish Op.

My friend had a BBQ last week. There were about 20 people going. I was travelling back from my Dad's funeral 330 miles away. By the time I got home, I was so drained, I just couldn't muster up the energy for the BBQ. I sent a text to explain, and said I was really sorry. It takes less than a minute!

Seems unlikely if she’s read all of OP’s messages.

She could be dead in a ditch.
OP needs to check she’s OK, before judging her.

Extremely rude and not much of a friend if she couldn't be bothered to acknowledge and cancel.

She’s not a friend if she doesn’t value you even enough to spend 20 seconds typing ‘sorry stuck at work’ or ‘feeling unwell’.

She really isn't a friend, she's shown you who she is. It doesn't take much for a quick message can't make it. To go silent is appalling.

Well obviously you feel sad. That’s not normal. That’s like saying “AIBU for feeling betrayed when my partner cheated on me”. Ghosting you is not a way to cancel plans.