Does anyone ever have no money at all?

ooo - good idea!

Solidarity from me. I have £163 to last til the 31st July and am frankly feeling quite rich with that. The freezer is quite full, the wine rack is healthy enough to have friends for drinks.

Bills paid but there is definitely going to be something in the next three weeks to come and smack me round the face. I have £14 in a savings account and my mortgage is not huge but I haven’t been on a holiday abroad since 2017. Actually come to think of it I haven’t been on a holiday in the UK either so I sunbathe in the garden and buy second hand books for £1 each from the local secondhand bookshop.

I think it will take me three years to pay off my credit cards. I make the payment each month then add the £30 extra or whatever it is and reduce the balance by £100 as I have no discipline and will spend it. Then when they take the payment I am beyond the limit and my credit score stays low so I can’t do a balance transfer to a 0% card.

Any time someone has a party or invites me to stay, I feel instantly anxious about petrol. I was reading a murder mystery book last week and kept thinking “but how aren’t they worried about their bills? Do none of these people have mortgages?”

I watch TV shows and 2 characters will meet in a greasy spoon for a fry up and I think how much I envy them that they don’t have to a) make sure there is enough in the account and b) mentally add up exactly every item and sweat if they charged more for brown sauce than I was expecting. I ONLY shop at the beginning of the month and I go round Lidl with my phone out, using the calculator to make sure I’ve got no chance of my card being declined.

My dreams ALWAYS have a money element in them, reflecting my low level constant anxiety. It will involve something like a friend saying “oh I’ll get the accommodation if you get the food” and not being able to pay in the supermarket because she wanted organic yoghurt and everyone in the queue looking at me (this has never happened IRL!). Or quotes being inaccurate or deposits.

so yes! Solidarity! I will add, though I am worried all the time and can’t even get on a bus without feeling relief when the card tap goes through, I am quite happy otherwise. I will get there in the end, I have great friends, a little garden, a dog I love and a happy relationship. So money is just something I don’t get to have for now.

Because OP isn’t a mod, so has no control over what people write on the thread

I’m having a bad month with bills. But in between I budget like crazy so I’ve got a buffer built up. Start using cash only it really helps. You can get your debts consolidated.

Not since I was a university student. I have the odd month where I dip into my overdraft by £10 or so a few days before I get paid but I have an able overdraft of £2500 which again, I am very rarely in. A credit card with a limit of £15000 but I owe £0 on it.

We are a moderate income family. Low six figures

I once pointed that owing £3000 on a £7000 overdraft didn't actually mean that my DH had £4000 to spend! That was the weekend we went through every thing, set a budget and things began to change.

Absolute nonsense.

I bet your faith does not dictate that you give to charity even if you are in debt and struggling this much! Also, there is nothing wrong with stopping the payments until you've cleared that debt, and then resuming them. You can even add a few pounds for lost time, but you can't be donating that now.

🥴 Would you lose your job? Credit card company lend somebody money, Person can’t pay it back and you think that’s a sacking offence. millions of people default on Debt every single day, millions of businesses default on Debt every single day.
Why is it only a problem when individuals do it do you think?

It can also be easy to have an idea in your head of the lifestyle you "should" be able to have on 35k and to constantly beat yourself up for not being able to achieve that when it's really due to cost of living increasing

Did you grow up poor/insecure? For some people, that leads to an attitude of feeling like money just goes so when you have it, spend it and make the most of it while you can. it can be hard to future plan and hard to break out of the mindsets that established themselves in childhood.

I have no advice unfortunately. But I wish you all the best, this sounds like a stressful way to live

Having read your responses to people it sounds rather like you are self-destructive and could possibly do with some counselling or help with your impulsive/addictive behaviours.

@Thiscantgoonlikethis
What is your total debt
You are paying 1K
Is that minimum payments?
I know you said you didnt want advice but do you really mean criticism?

Post the numbers and we can help you

Why do you think a better paid job isn’t possible? Can you not requalify for one?

No. Not since I discovered YNAB. When I was younger I always had periods where I had no money.

A salary of 35K a year equates to £16.83 an hour. I’m afraid that’s not a lot of money in today’s economy. You’re earning roughly £4 an hour over minimum wage. I’m saying this because maybe you’re not terrible with money. Lots of people are in the same boat, our wages are not keeping up with the cost of living. We assume it’s a flaw in us but it’s the way our economy is designed. Billionaires are getting rich by paying low wages and no tax. Do not follow the advice of some people telling you to just not pay your credit cards. This will have serious repercussions further down the line. My ex husband has just decided to stop paying my maintenance so I totally understand how quickly debt can build up.

This is the worse advice I have ever read here. Get caught would you lose your job. Not the credit cards fault you over spend. Get some good advice not this.

I feel the only way out of debt is get a second job during the weekends/evenings. Not ideal as I bet you are exhausted but when you are in the situation it will only get worse. Once you do that, you should be able to breathe again and enjoy time with your kids more.

Any history of ADHD in your family?
People wth ADHD often find it hard to manage their money and they get into debt.

ive been where you are through my ex husband not of My own accord , you need to change your pity me attitude, you can’t afford a big house , expensive school trips charity donations and a dead weight ex partner round your neck you need to cut everything out and I mean everything even things like window cleaners , coffees out , but you don’t want too you don’t seem to want to do anything that could help , you are the charity now so you best get used to it and start digging your way out and stop wallowing in, if I could do it you can !

Not over the last few years, but i know plenty of people who never ever have a pot to piss in.
At 35k a year are you entitled to any top up support?

And isn't the amount you need to give in proportion to your income? In your case your income is negative so you need to take a break from giving.

I presumed Oxfam was buying something at an Oxfam shop.

She has clearly asked to chat with others in the same situation

Agree particularly when that money would cover her childs school uniform and shoes that she says she cant afford

This is your issue. You are not able to spend what you have. There are charities who help people to manage money. I am not an expert of this behaviour but I would first pay back again all the debt, interest rates are now crazy so it is way harder, close all the credit cards, just one single debit card, put a pot of money to pay debt, a pot to pay all your fixed expenses (mortgage, car, bills , food) and if anything left this is what you spend. Otherwise you just don’t spend. Once debt is clear the pot becomes a saving account.
you are on a low wage so I don’t expect you to really save much, but you should not be in debt or be always skint.