AIBU to feel hurt my cousin hid booking her long hoped for trip?

How is this Major? And how does it affect you. Have u missed something?

Unless you are planning on tagging along I dont see why you should know when she booked it. You know she’s going to book it. Why is it relevant?

Sorry, OP. It sucks to always be the port of call for upset, help and advice when needed due to sad/difficult/upsetting situations, but then left out of the happy events. Your cousin sounds like a bit of a user tbh

So your life is more settled and stable than hers, you have more money, you have been there done that twice...
Whatever the reason it is likely to be somewhere in that difference.

Maybe she is hugging her secret and excitement, maybe she wants something ;just for her' for a short while, maybe she feels that you might claim kudos for some element, maybe she has had to opt for a cheaper version than you advised on, maybe she just forgot.

If you love her, maybe take a less transactional approach? Give advice if you want, but give: it comes with no obligation. Ditto support etc. Family love and support ideally is unconditional, without strings.

Do not engage in any games, tit for tat or passive aggressive stunts as suggested on this thread. Just say 'hey - your Mum said you have booked - how exciting!' and take it from there.

She might even say 'oh yes, sorry I didn't tell you sooner'

This is not worth upsetting your relationship over, or clouding her hol for her with upset and taking things personally.

Maybe she hasn’t taken all your advice about the trip and didn’t want to tell you? You need to say something though, and the suggestion by @columnatedruinsdomino is perfect.

I'd be asking myself why she doesn't want to tell me about the trip

It does seem odd and I'd be a bit confused too.

I'd go with a friendly message like the above, but maybe not even with the "When are you going?" bit - literally just "I'm sure you'll have an amazing time".

Is there a chance she thinks you might try to tag along or something?!

People are weird. Try to brush it off and not be offended.

So what?

She wanted to book a trip, you gave advice and she went ahead and booked it... So your issue is, "she didn't tell you she booked it?" I don't get why your feelings are hurt. She doesn't have to tell you every tiny little thing that happens in her life.

It would be weird to do this, OP. Perhaps you're thinking you're closer to her than she feels to you. She doesn't have to tell you everything.

… or she may not been avoiding you, just busy going about her life and avoiding the heat as most of us.

But booking a holiday is not a major event.
Going away & coming back without saying anything would be.

Maybe you need to be less available on demand in future. It sounds like she uses you when she is down and CBA at other times. Not very nice but you need to start caring less if this is her idea of friendship.

Quite!

How is this not minor? She’s booked a trip that she told you she was planning? Big deal!

Stop being odd about it. Use your voice, be happy for her and move on!

When I've not mentioned something like this in the past in similar circumstances it's been because the person was over the top with advice and tips etc beforehand and I didn't want to spend weeks having to listen to more from her and feel obligated to do the things on the trip which she was suggesting and feel guilty about it if I didn't.

Or maybe she's worried you'll also book at the same time and show up on the trip. There have been a few cases on here recently where that has happened and people have suggested in the future the OP doesn't tell the person when and where they are going so that it can't happen again.

Hmmm you sound a bit Main Character as the young ones would say, making this about you

No doubt you will deny it but thats probably whats going on here and shes put you on an information diet

You are both behaving strangely.
Her, for not sharing the good news, and you for not messaging, in a timely manner, to say your aunt shared the news. 🤷
She will know her mum has told you.
I suspect you are both over thinkers, which has led to this elephant in the room.
I'd just continue life as normal and mention it in a casual but positive, non patronising wsy, then leave any further discussion on the matter up to her.

This is a really weird thing to be upset about. She's booked a holiday and hasn't told you. Even if it's a big deal holiday, it's not a big deal whether she keeps you updated about it. You sound like you think you're better for having supported her more than vice versa, but as you see each other so much and have done since childhood, I don't think it can be quantified that way and you're just close cousins with presumably unconditional love for each other. Let her enjoy herself in the run-up to the trip and don't spoil it by making it about telling you and getting the hump unnecessarily. Be a friend and be glad for her not butthurt for no good reason. This is absolutely not something to be hurt about. YABU.

Is it a money thing? Not excusing poor behaviour, but if she had financial problems she shared with you, she might find it awkward that you know she can now afford this holiday. Weird, but then people are sometimes.😎

Yes, the OP is behaving as if she is owed ‘payment’ in disclosures about booking a holiday for having been a support. That’s not really how friendships work.

There must be a reason she hasn’t told you. How weird. Does she owe you money? Maybe she feels bad about booking it if she does?

Sorry x post.

Maybe she thought there would be an expectation of her being invited and she wanted to just go with her mum ?

Maybe shd thought you would want to come on the trip and xhe just wanted to go with her mother. But if not I dont see why shd has to tell you everything. And absolutely don't ask her why she hasn't told you about it before.

It’s strange she’s stopped communicating when she’s been asking you about it before. Maybe it’s unrelated. I’d plan to see her face to face and have a good chat.