My partner and I have different expectations around sleep

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think he is nasty to call you pathetic. I am early to bed and my husband stays up late, been married 16 years. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be more in the same rhythm but it's not a deal breaker for us.

I have zero opinion your individual sleep patterns because they are exactly that - individual.

i definitely have an opinion on your partner calling you childish, pathetic and boring. I definitely have an opinion on him expecting you to match his routine - but he wouldn’t compare moving closer to yours. He’s showing you who he is, so pay attention.

Your routine works for you. It makes sense to stick to it unless you are going out. He on.the other hand sounds selfish and unkind

Please don’t stay with someone who calls you pathetic! Raise your bar! For what it’s worth I’m similar to you and my partner is very similar to your boyfriend. In 30 years he has never once called me names for needing to manage my sleep in a different way to him!

I’m a 5am off to the gym person. There are loads of us of all ages and backgrounds. Also lots of people up and about generally this time in the morning-even in winter. I go to bed at 9.30. My partner doesn’t comment. Your soon to be ex partner needs to grow up.

My partner and I are like this so we live separately, spend the weekends together and one or sometimes two nights a week and holidays of course. I like my routine!

Of course he’s wrong. OP says she needs her sleep, he’s wrong to suggest she doesn’t.

OP, he knows you’re getting less sleep than him (as he sleeps in til 8.30) and doesn’t care. Throw this one back.

How on earth can you stay awake til 11pm?! I would be exhausted after being up since 5.40am.

I don’t think you are compatible.

The majority of my friends are very early risers. Several I met at a 6am gym class. We all go to bed 10 latest…

The fact he is calling you names, trying to force you to stay up when you are tired are red flags!

Neither of you is wrong to have the sleep pattern you like but if he's calling you pathetic and other nasty things then he's not a very nice person. Have some self respect and refuse to be treated like that. If he can't respect the bed time you want, you may wish to reconsider the relationship but while you do stop staying over and go back to your own place at 10:30

Not wanting to lie in doesn’t put you on the autistic spectrum. Loads of people don’t like a lay in. Why is it boring to not want to stay up and watch tv. If there’s nothing to watch it becomes boring and you get tired. Your DP isn’t kind, I’d get rid.

I'm like you and good sleep on a regular patter is better for your body and MH.

I'm a morning person and I wake up at five to five fifteen and get up at that time every day.

Being called names over something as non as this is worrying. If anything is pathetic, it's him calling you names.

Don’t stay with him. He doesn’t respect your needs. I am exactly the same as you I go to bed early and wake early it’s how I function. I do my exercise first thing and then have early nights. My husband will go exercise when I go sleep as he goes to bed and wakes later we each respect each others preference and make time in the evenings. Don’t make someone force you to change what makes you function and feel better, find someone who supports you be the best version of you and will make it work, Sleep is so important… do not sacrifice it for a man 🤣

It's not your sleep schedules that are at fault - it is his rude assumption that only HIS way is right, and his calling of you 'boring' when you don't immediately fall in with his way of doing things.

If he hasn't already, he will soon spread this to other areas of your life. You'll be 'boring' if you don't drink to excess at parties, 'boring' when you don't want holidays that involve lying on the beach all day....

Sorry, OP. You can try talking to him, but I think he will consider himself firmly in the right. This one doesn't have legs.

This 100%. He thinks you’re ‘pathetic’ ‘boring’ and ‘childish’? He sounds controlling,
unpleasant and completely unworthy of you. If you’re tired you need to sleep and it’s your decision when you decide to go to bed, not his. You sound lovely OP and are worth more than this abusive idiot. Time to show him the door I think!

You need to be in bed for about 9.30 or at least brushing your teeth etc at that time.

This is a giant red flag to me, OP.

Is he like this about other aspects of your life?

Completely incompatible and as times goes on you’ll get more exhausted and resent him. He’s clearly not going to change his stance so it will be all on you. Sleep is the key to everything imho!

Seven months in and he's happy to call you pathetic to your face? Just bin him OP, he's not for you.

Regardless of it being an unusual wake time/pattern, it suits you and makes you feel happy. Why should you be made to feel "less than" for it, it's not like it hurts anyone! You just need to find a similarly early riser!

I have some sympathy with him, in that 5:40 is unusually early to get up, and that’s why you’re tired earlier in the evening than he is.

Its not actually that unusual - look at this thread and why would you have sympathy for someone who is being unnecessarily rude to the person he is meant to care about?

I have some sympathy with him, in that 5:40 is unusually early to get up, and that’s why you’re tired earlier in the evening than he is. But would he prefer it if you slept for another couple of hours in the morning and went to the gym in the evening instead? If you did that, you’d have no early/mid evening time together.

The only solution is for you to stop going to the gym. Is that what he really wants?

Basically, with such different sleep patterns you just sound incompatible.

My DH and I are sleep incompatible. I’m early to bed, early to rise and very full of energy in the AM. He’s a late sleeper and naturally a night owl. He’s a shift worker which fits in with his natural pattern.

We have a busy family life so our responsibilities are shared based on our own timetables but when we were dating I quickly had to set clear expectations eg say a time and place we would meet on a Saturday morning as if we said “let’s see each other on Sat” I wouldn’t hear from him til midday or later or even make a plan and it would piss me off.

He sounds quite rude. I don't like the way he is mocking you and not accepting that you're different to him.

Op there’s incompatible and there’s being made feel like your way is wrong- being called pathetic is out of order imo. You’re only 7 months in, I don’t think he’s a keeper

I’m with you OP, love an early morning and feel I can fit in a lot more in my day. 11pm would be too late for me though.

Are you very serious about this boyfriend? I can understand that in a new relationship he will want to spend time with you. I just don’t like the way he’s expressing himself.