How do you handle this is in a vulnerable 12 year old girl :(

From what OP has posted, I suspect this is an independent SS. It isn’t unusual for them to be small (and boy-heavy, sadly).

I thought it would be worth looking at the inspection report just in case it says "the school anti bullying policy was not consistently applied"/"some children said they didn't always feel safe at school" or whatever. If the OP is considering something drastic like a school change it's useful to know if something's a one off problem or if there are hints it might be an ongoing issue.

I don't think OP needs to know minutiae of who inspects what, but obviously there's not much point looking on the Ofsted website if it's ISI that's relevant.

As pp said, as it seems to be a rather small school, it would be useful to look at the annual report and accounts to see how they're doing financially. Quite a few small independents have shut at short notice.

Not necessarily. While most independent schools are members of the ISC, not all are, so some are inspected by Ofsted rather than ISI. Also, those independent SS who are section 41 approved are inspected by Ofsted.

Is such a small school even financially viable?

If your EHCP is funding the fees I would talk to the LA and copy the school HM and SENCO. Finding another school may be the best plan.

The headteacher cannot ignore you, surely? Email or go to their office.

Yes, I've just looked and that must have been because there were children under 2.

Neither body is likely to inspect in this case although it would be worth OP looking to see what the last inspection report says, if she hasn't already.

Reassure your daughter that it’ll be ok. And that you will not send her back to that school unless it’s sorted. She can be home schooled until she feels happy and safe.

When DD went into Y7 all her friends were in one class apart from her and she was quite upset for a while until she made very good friends with those in her class. That might not be the case with your DD so it might be better to email the school anyways and get them to sort it out somehow, especially if they are trying to punish you and your DD!

I would move schools. I heartily wish we had moved my child instead of listening to the school promising more support.
They told me my child would not be accepted into a specialist school as so many kids were a lot worse !!!! Added to this, child did not want to move anyway. If a move had failed, then who's to blame? ( hint; me)

They failed my child and we still feel it some years later.
Bullies make me sick. And their parents. One parent expressed complete surprise that my child had been allowed to go to such a good school when a very bright child they knew of, didn't get a place!!!!!
You hope karma will be served on them but it doesn't seem to.

Good luck OP

Ofsted inspected the independent pre-prep and prep dd was in so this isn’t always the case.

If you do leave the school please report to Ofsted and tell them why you’re leaving. I didn’t and regret it. I watched the school get Ofsted outstanding after my daughter was bullied out of it and they had totally failed to safeguard her twice. For the sake of the other children it’s best if the school are forced to account and don’t just keep failing and lying at inspections.

Yeah I’m be going ballistic, senior management and a complaint to the governors. Telling you don’t to email back is appalling too. If you don’t get anywhere then change schools because the bullying will just continue like this.

Sounds like a terrible school!! I’m so sorry she’s been treated like that. I’d move her.

I absolutely would take this seriously, including assuming that the solution will be to change schools. The early years of secondary have proved extremely challenging for many female children of my friends, leading to school refusal and mental health challenges. Your daughter's mental health and happiness needs to be first priority. Ultimately it will be less time and trouble to look for a new school (including any of year 8 missed during this search) than to risk mental breakdown, school refusal, etc etc

Ofsted = state
ISI = independent
Tricky because OP can't easily remove her daughter as it's an EHCP space
Bully paying fees and may have siblings there.

You said it’s an independent school so are you paying fees? I think if you’re paying it makes a massive difference. If this girl has already driven out one child, has 2 currently including your dd that she can’t be left alone with and you on the brink of leaving then you can push the school to act. You need to go to the governors if the school has them and you need to say as the bullying has not been dealt with you are reporting to Ofsted.

And tell them exactly what you want in terms of class configuration and your dd. But I would be aiming to get the bully removed if they can’t deal with her behaviour effectively.

We went through this twice with independent pre-prep then prep. The first time I compiled evidence from parents of the other bullied children, including the emails they have sent to the school about individual situations, wrote a comprehensive report of what had happened to my child and took it to the head. I told her the next step was sending it to Ofsted (The school did not have governors). The bully was excluded.

The second time when DD experienced bad bullying at the same school we left because we didn’t believe they were capable of safeguarding her.

@Crankyandhot I trusted schools too (several, not just one, & all ages) until I didn't any more. The chances we give them, assuming they'll care about our children - but they just do what's best for them, & we're left trying to explain to our kids how they can let them down when WE'D said all would be ok..

Some people were exceptional - educational psychologists etc - but the schools - nope. Hugs..

I would:

Email your caseworker at the LA, and copy in the school and anyone else relevant (if your school and LA are anything like ours then I've found the best way to get a response is bulk emailing every address you can find).

Tell them in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable, and you need an emergency AR to look at a change of placement.

The school are behaving really disgustingly here and clearly no thought at all has been given to your daughter's needs.

Are you in a position where you could keep her home in September until a new placement is found?

If so, I would inform them that you'll be doing that and you expect the LA to fulfil their statutory duty and provide alternative provision until a placement is found.

I'm absolutely fuming on your behalf!

They promise everything & deliver nothing & have left YOU to deal with it until school resumes.
As I've said before, it was the happiest day of my life when all my kids finished school (whether they were meant to or not - one or two of mine just didn't go back.)

It's really shocking in this day and age, when your DD who has specific and named SEN that the school is well aware of, that she is being treated in such a callous and cowardly way. The school sending that email half an hour after the end of term and stating that nothing can be done over the summer because all the teachers will have their OOO on, so both you and she will now have to sit with this information for eight weeks without being able to talk about it is utterly shit! A PP talked about this happening to her in the 1970s - well yes awful things happened back then and SEN weren't acknowledged or diagnosed or treated with kindness - but this is 2026 and the OP's DD has an EHCP!

OP, I'm disgusted on your behalf, even more so because you're actually PAYING for this shitty treatment. You don't live anywhere near Oxon/Bucks do you? If so, the excellent school my DS goes to is starting to take girls in 2027 and I can PM you the details.

First things first , reassure your daughter that this will absolutely be sorted as soon as she’s back to school so she can stop worrying about it , tell her it’s a non issue and it will get fixed .
Try not to project your own worries onto her. If she sees you are worried , she will worry. And vice versa.

otherwise you’ve got a long summer of your daughter unhappy and worrying and you unhappy and worrying in her behalf.

Been there, done that, it’s not fun and I completely regret not being upbeat and positive about it with my daughter. It affected the entire summer.

teachers will be back in the school before start of next year so your email will be picked up and hopefully responded to.