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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to wait until after a Barbados holiday to end it?

132 replies

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 10/07/2026 23:08

I've been with my DP for 2 years (I'm 39 and he is 42), but things have been pretty dead for quite some time. No massive drama, but we have become more like flatmates and he is utterly terrible with money and spends it all the second he is paid. He is in thousands of pounds of credit card debt and seems to put a band aid over the problem by taking out balance transfer cards.

My dilemma is that he has booked us a 2 week holiday at a 5 star resort in Barbados this December. He impulsively booked it on his credit card- he was already 5k in debt on his card prior to booking the trip. I haven't been outside Europe since I was 21 and I really don't want to pass up on the opportunity. I could never hope to afford it on my own and I don't want to regret not going when I'm older. It sounds terrible, but should I hold out until after the holiday in December to break up with him?

OP posts:
Missj25 · 10/07/2026 23:23

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 10/07/2026 23:08

I've been with my DP for 2 years (I'm 39 and he is 42), but things have been pretty dead for quite some time. No massive drama, but we have become more like flatmates and he is utterly terrible with money and spends it all the second he is paid. He is in thousands of pounds of credit card debt and seems to put a band aid over the problem by taking out balance transfer cards.

My dilemma is that he has booked us a 2 week holiday at a 5 star resort in Barbados this December. He impulsively booked it on his credit card- he was already 5k in debt on his card prior to booking the trip. I haven't been outside Europe since I was 21 and I really don't want to pass up on the opportunity. I could never hope to afford it on my own and I don't want to regret not going when I'm older. It sounds terrible, but should I hold out until after the holiday in December to break up with him?

If you don’t want to be with him , do it now .
There’s never going to be a good time .
Also using him for a holiday is shitty behaviour OP .
You said he’s in debt as it is , so realistically he will spend a bomb in Barbados , then you come home , dump him, & it’s Christmas on top of it .
I personally would feel like a bitch if I did this to someone.

Enrichetta · 10/07/2026 23:12

Probably a rage bait post…

Nighttimenoise · 10/07/2026 23:12

Don't go on the holiday, it's not very nice to use someone like this.

Allisnotlost1 · 10/07/2026 23:12

It’s pretty hypocritical to complain he’s in debt and then benefit from him getting further in debt, regardless of whether you break up with him. If you’re unhappy you might as well be unhappy in Barbados I guess, but you’d probably be a better person if you tell him now and let him take someone who likes him.

Spongecakehouse · 10/07/2026 23:10

Gross

BitterTits · 10/07/2026 23:10

Entirely the wrong reason to wait (and to go).

Enrichetta · 10/07/2026 23:10

Read your post again. Slowly.