AIBU to wait until after a Barbados holiday to end it?

BusyMum47 · 16/07/2026 06:56

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 10/07/2026 23:39

He has paid for the flights and the hotel now, so I was just thinking I may as well go as it has been paid for anyway. All he would have to pay for on top of that would be lunch, dinners and drinks (breakfast is included). I don't think I should cough up as it wasn't my idea to book it.

@Thewrathofsylviaplath Jesus! This makes you sound like a complete b**ch! “All he’d have to pay for on top is all the food & drink” ??? So not only would you go but you’d expect him to fund EVERYTHING??

Of course you shouldn’t go! Break up with him now & he can go with who ever he pleases if it’s all paid for & he’s unable to cancel/get a refund.

Sounds like he’s better off without YOU!

sittingonabeach · 16/07/2026 00:45

Will he be in the shit finance wise by December? Who pays rent, bills etc?

suburberphobe · 16/07/2026 00:34

Go for it.

The Caribbean is fabulous. Trip of a lifetime. Nature, food, people, climate....

Organise to pay him back though for your half. It's only fair.

Doctordoolittle · 16/07/2026 00:31

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 23:10

What is wrong with him paying for my meals?

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It sounds like he isn’t the only one spending his money that he doesn’t have to spend!

I think you should break up with him now and he can either sell the holiday on, take someone who likes him, or try and cancel.

VodkaAndSoda · 16/07/2026 00:30

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 23:10

What is wrong with him paying for my meals?

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Because you’re his partner, not his child.

Fine for him to pay for your meals if you’re paying for his. Equality is important.

whoremembers · 16/07/2026 00:29

I say go 😭 xx

Men do far worse

FWC2026 · 16/07/2026 00:24

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 19:39

I can't decide 😭...But in real life, how many people in real life would actually turn down a free holiday to the Carribbean? The money has already been spent, so I'm considering just going and making the best of it. Perhaps the time away will bring the spark back?

I acknowledge that I'm sounding terrible and I understand the pile on, but I need some time to sort out my finances and work out if there's somewhere I can afford to rent on my own- this won't happen overnight. There's no way whatsoever I can afford to move out at the moment anyway, so it would look really odd now if I suddenly announced that I'm not going. He also bought me a gorgeous designer bag and a really expensive coffee machine a few months ago for my birthday, so I would look soo ungrateful if I just left now.

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And you think it willlook better after he's s spent even more money on taking you to Barbados??? Yes he's spent the majority of the key, but he could take a friend/family member, someone he can share the good memories with rather than an ex that took advantage of him!!

Whenever you leave him, he's only just going to have spent a chunk of money on you but the longer you wait the more he will have spent, how is that fair or reasonable?

Missj25 · 15/07/2026 23:35

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 23:10

What is wrong with him paying for my meals?

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Are you actually being serious or just looking for a rise ???

There’s nothing wrong with him buying meals for you if you weren’t using the fuck out of him !!!!
You know the holiday is costing him a bomb as it is , why are you trying to milk him for everything he has ???, & then dump him on top of it .
When he is free of you , however it happens, he will be one lucky man .

SleepingStandingUp · 15/07/2026 23:28

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 10/07/2026 23:39

He has paid for the flights and the hotel now, so I was just thinking I may as well go as it has been paid for anyway. All he would have to pay for on top of that would be lunch, dinners and drinks (breakfast is included). I don't think I should cough up as it wasn't my idea to book it.

So you know he's crap with money but want to go on the holiday booked and insist you don't spend a penny whilst there? Are you at least intending to have regular sex with him whilst pretending to care?

AdjectiveColourNoun · 15/07/2026 23:18

I’d take the holiday. Fuck it. I think secretly a lot of people would. Plenty of ‘relationships’ are built on financial dependence.

CinderellaGotOld · 15/07/2026 23:16

It’s one thing making the most of what has already been paid for but expecting him to pay more for you is next level. Presumably you’ll stick around for an expensive Xmas present he can’t afford either

Original poster

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 23:10

Fiendishandfiery · 15/07/2026 19:53

Wow what am I reading, how grabby, you’re even going to get him to pay for meals and not put your hand in your pocket. That’s shocking.

What is wrong with him paying for my meals?

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Original poster

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 23:07

Swiftie1878 · 15/07/2026 23:01

You are a really nasty piece of work. OMG.

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Eh? She originally said that she was 12 and her bf was old enough to drive! In the UK 17 is the driving age. Her original comment made him sound like a predator.

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Swiftie1878 · 15/07/2026 23:01

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 21:05

Crikey, if this is true, your "bf" surely must be on some sort of register by now 😧

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You are a really nasty piece of work. OMG.

UndoRedo · 15/07/2026 21:07

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 21:05

Crikey, if this is true, your "bf" surely must be on some sort of register by now 😧

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Actually good point 🤣 I must have been 14. He was 15 (not from UK so he had his license). He was too shy to even kiss me, hence the dumping.

Original poster

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 21:05

UndoRedo · 15/07/2026 21:02

When I was 12 I realised my bf bored me silly but he had a car and was going to take me to a film a really wanted to see. Even at that age I knew breaking up with him first was the right thing to do.

Crikey, if this is true, your "bf" surely must be on some sort of register by now 😧

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UndoRedo · 15/07/2026 21:02

When I was 12 I realised my bf bored me silly but he had a car and was going to take me to a film a really wanted to see. Even at that age I knew breaking up with him first was the right thing to do.

BeardySchnauzer · 15/07/2026 20:07

It sounds like you are happy for him to be bad with money when it benefits you

Missj25 · 15/07/2026 19:57

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 19:39

I can't decide 😭...But in real life, how many people in real life would actually turn down a free holiday to the Carribbean? The money has already been spent, so I'm considering just going and making the best of it. Perhaps the time away will bring the spark back?

I acknowledge that I'm sounding terrible and I understand the pile on, but I need some time to sort out my finances and work out if there's somewhere I can afford to rent on my own- this won't happen overnight. There's no way whatsoever I can afford to move out at the moment anyway, so it would look really odd now if I suddenly announced that I'm not going. He also bought me a gorgeous designer bag and a really expensive coffee machine a few months ago for my birthday, so I would look soo ungrateful if I just left now.

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Ok , so now you sound like you’re saving until you can move out .
And you’re dumping your bf at Christmas after the holiday .

I’m being geuine when I say i would turn down a holiday to the place I most want to visit in the world , if my plan was to dump him when I get back .
OP that sucks , don’t do that to him !

Fiendishandfiery · 15/07/2026 19:53

Wow what am I reading, how grabby, you’re even going to get him to pay for meals and not put your hand in your pocket. That’s shocking.

Zippidydoodah · 15/07/2026 19:50

Omgosh!

The only redeeming comment you’ve made is that maybe the spark will be reignited on holiday…..I hope it is, but if it isn’t, please stop stringing this poor bloke along because he is spoiling you!

Original poster

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 15/07/2026 19:39

Fiddlesticks1 · 15/07/2026 10:14

What have you decided to do?

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I can't decide 😭...But in real life, how many people in real life would actually turn down a free holiday to the Carribbean? The money has already been spent, so I'm considering just going and making the best of it. Perhaps the time away will bring the spark back?

I acknowledge that I'm sounding terrible and I understand the pile on, but I need some time to sort out my finances and work out if there's somewhere I can afford to rent on my own- this won't happen overnight. There's no way whatsoever I can afford to move out at the moment anyway, so it would look really odd now if I suddenly announced that I'm not going. He also bought me a gorgeous designer bag and a really expensive coffee machine a few months ago for my birthday, so I would look soo ungrateful if I just left now.

OP posts:

Fiddlesticks1 · 15/07/2026 10:14

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 10/07/2026 23:08

I've been with my DP for 2 years (I'm 39 and he is 42), but things have been pretty dead for quite some time. No massive drama, but we have become more like flatmates and he is utterly terrible with money and spends it all the second he is paid. He is in thousands of pounds of credit card debt and seems to put a band aid over the problem by taking out balance transfer cards.

My dilemma is that he has booked us a 2 week holiday at a 5 star resort in Barbados this December. He impulsively booked it on his credit card- he was already 5k in debt on his card prior to booking the trip. I haven't been outside Europe since I was 21 and I really don't want to pass up on the opportunity. I could never hope to afford it on my own and I don't want to regret not going when I'm older. It sounds terrible, but should I hold out until after the holiday in December to break up with him?

What have you decided to do?

STankFunger · 11/07/2026 16:28

Thewrathofsylviaplath · 10/07/2026 23:08

I've been with my DP for 2 years (I'm 39 and he is 42), but things have been pretty dead for quite some time. No massive drama, but we have become more like flatmates and he is utterly terrible with money and spends it all the second he is paid. He is in thousands of pounds of credit card debt and seems to put a band aid over the problem by taking out balance transfer cards.

My dilemma is that he has booked us a 2 week holiday at a 5 star resort in Barbados this December. He impulsively booked it on his credit card- he was already 5k in debt on his card prior to booking the trip. I haven't been outside Europe since I was 21 and I really don't want to pass up on the opportunity. I could never hope to afford it on my own and I don't want to regret not going when I'm older. It sounds terrible, but should I hold out until after the holiday in December to break up with him?

Go on the holiday gal, break up with him then shag his sister

Gallusoldbesom · 11/07/2026 12:51

Yes, I think it must be, even if she really thought that she’d be unlikely to say it out loud!