Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel overwhelmed by my husband’s constant noise at home?

76 replies

CareBearClaire · 10/07/2026 22:48

Is It just me or would this annoy you? I’m perimenopausal so I’m prepared to be told it’s me being overly sensitive.

My DH is literally driving me insane. He makes so much noise. ALL. THE. TIME.

He coughs constantly, a loud hacking cough - it gets right on my nerves. There’s no serious cause (and I’m sure about that) and it’s been going on for years. It shatters my peace and cuts right through silence every time he does it (hundreds of times a day). Totally gets my back up and causes me stress.

He sneezes so loud you would hear him at the end of the street. Not once, twice, three times, but over and over and he tries to make himself sneeze so it goes on as long as he can make it (God knows why).

He picks at his skin constantly - fingers, nails, feet - it ‘clicks’ and the sofa vibrates every time he does it and he gets annoyed when I ask him to stop.

He plays music of his own choice from the minute he wakes up till the minute he goes to bed at night. Never asks what I might like to listen to. He can’t function without it.

If he’s in the kitchen, the drawers bang when he opens and closes them, the cupboards bang the same, the music blares whilst he does it.

He talks loudly all the time, even when I talk to him about things, he pretty much shouts back - he cannot speak quietly.

The noise he makes, puts me on edge every single day. It also doesn’t help that if I ask him to make less noise, he moans and gets huffy and is a fecking pain, as if I’m asking him to poke his own eyes out.

I’m pretty sure he has undiagnosed ADHD but he’ll not do anything about that (not that that would be a reason for everything of course).

I can no longer sleep beside him because he also snores so loudly - if he falls asleep on the sofa in the lounge, I either can’t get to sleep upstairs in bed or he’ll wake me up. He also twitches in his sleep, which makes that all worse too.

I’m absolutely demented and totally worn out with it all. AIBU and is that just normal generally and I’m being intolerant or would that drive you nuts too?

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 10/07/2026 22:58

I divorced mine and what pushed me to do that was when I realised I was flinching every time he slammed the door or stomped around. I was hyperaware of hearing his key in the door and I realised I was reacting as an abused woman and that is not okay. I live a very peaceful life now and I've even stopped reacting when hearing the new neighbours slamming their car doors.

If he won't modify his noise but he's a decent guy in the rest of your relationship then I highly recommend a couples counsellor to help you get back on track. Otherwise seriously consider your options as he'll get noiser as he gets older and deafer 😬

Swipe left for the next trending thread