AIBU to hate DH wolf-whistling at me?

OP, I think you've gone off him.
This isn't some random dude wolf-whistling, it's your dh.

I don't judge you for going off him.
I think menopause changes what we find attractive.

For your sake and his, perhaps it's time to accept it's done?

This.

This thread is batshit. The OP is perfectly entitled to be pissed off and annoyed that her DH keeps wolf whistling her, every single time she bloody passes. I don't know any woman in real life who would be OK with this. This 'oh be grateful he fancies you' line is dreadful. So a woman should have to put up with this caveman behaviour, because 'at least her husband fancies her.' 🙄

Guess what? My husband fancies ME, and is attracted to ME, but he manages to show it without wolf whistling, giving lecherous looks, or groping me.

The bar for some women on here is so low it's scraping on the bloody ground.

No WAY would I be tolerating this behaviour. @Bupcake YANBU, you need to tell him stop. Every. Single. Time. Start ignoring him. Then start pushing him away. Say 'I've TOLD you how I feel about the tedious fucking letching and wolf whistling, if you can't be arsed to stop, you don't get to touch me.'

It's showing zero respect for you when you have told him to STOP.

Beautifully patronising 🙄

I've slept with plenty of men... never met one who cried after sex...but I do tend to go for more macho types

It’s an observation over a very colourful sexual history. So many men cry after sex and talking about love. It’s sad you haven’t experienced that.

Yeah! Women should be grateful that their husbands sexually objectify them and make it obvious , even when they're engrossed in a book or chopping the onions 🤨

What's the response supposed to be? "Oh, darling, did your dick twitch? Thanks for letting me know!"

Men being what they are, he's probably very proud that he CAN wolf-whistle.

Lots of women find wolf whistles off-putting because they are reminders of street harassment - could this be part of the problem? As an occasional joke it's ok but if it's quite often it'd get old.

Oh dear - we wolf whistle at each other through the ring doorbell…difference is, I suppose, we do it to each other as a sign we fancy each other.

I think the problem with a wolf whistle is to me it feels lazy when it comes from a partner.
I would prefer a comment like wow, or you look great, or you look sexy, or …….
A wolf whistle is just so generic, it’s what the twats down the caf do to any passing woman.
It is not sexy to the receiver really.

Wow you must be unbelievably stunning op.

Seriously though this is so odd to me. He's your DH not a random van driver

Speak for yourself. That is a gross generalisation of both men and women.

I would dislike it too but not as much as the winking which I find creeps me out whoever does it . 😅 It makes me shudder !

Agree with this post 100%

OP has no doubt got the babies she wanted and now wants to shut up shop…

I dont think there is any doubt about why the divorce rates are what they are reading this clap trap

I wouldn't like it either, and I would wonder what he gets out of it that is more important than the knowledge that it upsets you and makes you uncomfortable. He's said it's for your benefit, it's to show his approval of the way you look, so when you've made it very clear that it's not accomplishing that and is in fact pretty much doing the opposite, why persist?

My personal reasons for not liking it is that it is a practice and a tactic that are widely used to denigrate women, intimidate women, and keep women in their "place". The fact that some women say they don't mind it or even like it, or that they've reclaimed the wolf whistle as a positive affirmation within their specific personal relationship, doesn't change that. And those instances of woman saying it's OK or positive are further weaponised to legitimise the practice in general - see, for example, the episode of King of Queens where Leah Remini's character Carrie is feeling old and fat so she walks by the construction site several times a day because the whistles make her feel better about her looks. Maybe when we achieve true equality between the sexes and women aren't at disproportionate risk to their safety and well-being from men, I'll reconsider. Until then, hold the whistles - and the transparent DARVO manosphere pop psychology.

Agreed.

Also, if Person A says “I don’t want sex because I hate my body and feel like I’m not attractive” but then also when Person B tries to reassure them that they actually ARE very attractive, Person A say “How dare you objectify me by telling me that?” I don’t think Person B is the problem. I think Person A has essentially opted out of having a normal and functional marriage and giving Person B no choice in the matter.

He’s your husband, not some random in the street. I don’t really understand why being found attractive by one’s own partner is ‘objectifying’.

What if he said “You look gorgeous” or “You look really good in that top / those jeans?” Would that be a problem for you?

It sounds as if you’re basically just annoyed that a man you’re meant to be in sexual relationship with, who is supposed to find you attractive, likes the way you look.

If he was groping you or something, obviously that would be different. But I think it’s a problem in a relationship if you’re annoyed or disgusted or feel objectified by a simple expression of your partner’s attraction to you.

You sound like you dislike your husband, dislike yourself even more, and are outright appalled at the notion of sexual attraction within a marriage. I think if I felt like that in my relationship I’d be looking at divorce, therapy or both, because to me that sounds incredibly bleak.

Well yeah if you don’t like sex then maybe a relationship isn’t for you. Unless in the rare cases where both are in agreement.

Men are very emotional when it comes to sex, more so than women a lot of the time. Its how they bond with us.

Well from OPs posts, its her that she doesnt like, she is the one who needs to fall in love with herself. She needs to fix that.
Its not attractive to be self loathing, he'll certainly get the iick with that I would have thought.

😂😂

Jesus!!

If the partner doesn’t like sex, or being admired sexually by her husband than yes!