Family with opposing views

Am not sure Amnesty are the best judges of character just now!

This OP

Do you mean "source"? If so, what are these "unfactual" sources and what do they say?

For example, if they say things like, "Muslims eat babies for breakfast", or "All Muslims are criminals", you could accurately say the source was "unfactual" and Islamaphobic.

If, on the other hand, the sources claim that some Muslims men in towns and cities around the UK have been raping and abusing girls and young women for decades, they are stating a fact.

If on the basis of that fact your father, in common with many reasonable people, thinks these criminals should be deported on their release from prison, he is expressing a perfectly valid opinion that you might not agree with.

What are these 'right wing' views, though? Would they be views condemned by Amnesty, for instance?

@Coldcoffeekindamorning Just don't discuss those topics. And if he tries to bring them up, just say 'I don't think we'll agree on this, so probably best not to discuss it'. You're making this a much bigger issue than it is.

Can't say I'd particularly care. Many of my friends and family have views I strongly disagree with so we just avoid discussing them.

Unless someone is causing actual harm or breaking the law, I don't much care what their actual opinions are. I certainly wouldn't abandon a family member over it.

It's a real shame that people can't have views without their families abandoning them.

I would suggest that rather depends on "the views" though.

I mean jam before cream is in a different league to thinking people with a tan should be sent "back", for example. Being racist out of politeness isn't really how I want to live. (Or indeed have lived)

Since around lockdown my mum has developed some strong views that I’d call right wing. Supports Trump, anti-Muslim, anti- vaccine, lots of conspiracy theories. She used to try and talk about them but I shut her down as I don’t want to hear it. Then I’m careful not to bring anything that could be contentious up. Tbh I think it has impacted our relationship. I love her but I feel there’s a distance between us.

Its pretty even tbf. People are always calling left wing people anti semetic if they disagree with the Israeli government, or telling them they don't care about women and children who are raped and murdered if they don't agree with don't celebrate murderers killing other murderers in prison, or criticise Rupert Lowe.

Spot on.

balance to be struck

on the one had we should listen to and tolerate other opinions

but sometimes these cross a line - that may be expressing opinions to the children , it may be refusing to acknowledge that you have an alternative opinion and refusing to sidestep the topic under most conversations , it may be expressing those opinions to a person ( say immigrants are not welcome to a foreign born person ) that makes that person feel threatened

aome people have vile opinions and if they go through life with an ever decreasing circle of friends and family as a result so be it

The way we move on is to accept people have different beliefs. There are differences in how we perceive the world, what we’ve experienced, what we’ve been taught.

In medieval times, we burnt people at the stake for having the wrong opinions and beliefs.
We have gone to war about the wrong opinions and beliefs.

Many things we know and understand now, got you executed in the past.

Just accept that people don’t all think the same.
Continue to avoid inflammatory subjects. Gather some phrases to use to end certain topics, because he isn’t going to be persuaded or argued to a different opinion.

🙄You are projecting. There is no evidence in what OP has posted to suggest that she is a left wing bigot.

Wow, aren't you a very open minded person. The world needs more of you x

As a lefty, I can assure you that these are not left wing opinions.

I don't feel I can talk to him about this either as we have had a very rocky relationship and have worked very hard to get to a point were we don't argue. When I was younger the slightest thing could spark a huge fight and we have both learned to keep quiet to some extent to keep the peace.

I had similar as a teenager - not racism but homophobia (I had gay friends at school), sexism and religion. I didn't learn to keep quiet, the huge fights continued and we're now NC. I suppose the situation is slightly different in that a lot of my dad's toxic views were aimed at me personally but life is too short to be around people who hold views you find disgusting.

It's a real shame that people can't have views without their families abandoning them. It's a blight in the West that is so damaging and unnecessary. That's your FATHER. Does that not mean anything over his views on one subject? It's so childish to think everyone has to have the same views or they can't be in our lives.

I miss the 90s.

Funny how it's always right wing views. It really has been done to death.

You tell yourself ‘his views are disgusting, but there’s more to him than them’. Park it at the back of your mind labelled ‘horrid views - to be pitied’ and leave it there.

Urgh love my parents and inlaws. Both raised in very small working class towns and believe lots of tripe doled out by political muppets on immigration.

I told both sets that we will agree to disagree as I cant changed them.

Told the kids that they need to experience a range range of views and come to their own decisions. The world is made up of lots of different people and would be a sad place if we were all the same.

As they got older as teens I told them exactly what my viewpoint was, how I disagree fundamentally with their grandparents on these topics