AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

The issue with charging, is it could be deemed to be a childminding service and needs to be properly registered, insured and inspected.

The money would also need to be declared to the tax man.

Remember this isn't a one off, it's easily a 10 year commitment until Ops youngest finishes primary.

I would absolutely help out occasionally but wouldn’t do it as a regular arrangement. What if your child is ill and you’re not going to school? It’s just an extra headache for you to arrange when it should be their responsibility

Yes, agree. It is nothing to do with being nice or not nice or doing something that you’re doing anyway - this is how OP’s neighbours think. In modern life, everyone makes choices. I have made a choice to lessen my career so that we can survive as a family unit. Everyone makes these sacrifices, and yes sometimes families dont have the choice. It sounds like your neighbours have a level of choice in their life as they have three children and he works from home. They have made choices. In which case, it’s not ok to effectively take from you to enable their lifestyle. This is the point. We are all firefighting.

Having a phobia doesn’t mean you get to handball responsibility to a neighbour/ someone else.

You can WFH, live on a bus, train route or cycle not have three kids then think oh no all my neighbours will have to step up and take my kids to school.

Omg it gets worse!
So instead of buying a small runaround so that they each have a car he drives her to work
CFery at its finest

a couple of police women who did reciprocal childcare like this got into trouble for running an unofficial childminding service. It was a while ago, but you should check what the regulations say now. https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2009/sep/28/government-orders-review-babysitting-police

Oh wow, I just saw the dad is a stay at home parent. Quite clearly he should do the school runs, as per the stay at home parent usual role!

" help each other"
Is key here

Mostly its a one way street now and hence Cheeky Fuckers was born

Someone elses phobia i mean she had lessons and managed to pass her test is no one elses problem
I say this as someone who was a very nervous driver and just didnt learn but I had to pass my test to get my DC to school so I just got on with it .

Yes I brought up the word nice

I really dont give 2 shits anymore whether people think Im nice
Nice is really "reliquish your boundaries so I get what I want, if you dont I will call you names"
Not that nice really

I think I would explain mornings are busy with you 2-year old and say you can give it a try for a couple of weeks but you’re not sure if it will work and they may need to make another arrangement, also as 2yo grows things may change so you want flex to be able to stop the arrangement without hard feekings…
Also what is the quid pro quo - will she babysit for you once a week so that you and hubs can get a date night? Are there nights where she can pick up your DC, or will she provide some school holiday care while you are at work? This has to be a reciprocal arrangement, not just that you bail her out.
Also agree what will happen on days your child is sick and you aren’t able to take them in.
Once you’ve talked through all of that she might naturally decide that a paid childminder is a better idea…

Tricky one

mornings can be difficult and an extra child is a lot of responsibility

but I do feel that we are increasingly isolated as a society, much less keen to help each other through things and the overall effect is negative for everyone. It used to be normal.

could you suggest one term only - see how it goes and give her time to sort herself out ?

Quite

Absolutely not.

I might agree to take the child to school but not have them dropped off, weird of her to ask in my book

Sounds like they leave the car at home for dad and children to use which is understandable so if he has access to the car and is home, there is no need for you to take her. He can.

I think someone said she couldn’t because she has a phobia. Who knows ?
I think there is a difference between asking and expecting.
But the OP has made up her mind so there we are.

That s okay. Thanks for the apology.

I know its a specific situation thats what I replied to
You missed a specific part of the detail
The DW can drive
They are expecting the Op to step in and
Inconvenience herself so that they dont have to
Bonkers!

I should have read properly and not directed that at you, sorry about that

I didn’t introduce the word nice. The previous poster said women were sick of being nice.
So I just said that was correct. She doesn’t have to be.

If all that's stopping you saying no is the fact that you're neighbours and it would be awkward then I think you don't need to worry. They need you on side because you already do plenty for them.

Why does she have to be ‘nice’? She can very kindly not wish to enter into an agreement that disadvantages her. Is it ‘nice’ of her neighbour to have agreed to a new working pattern that will put the OP out without consulting her? Is it ‘nice’ that she can drive to work and negate any of the need for this, but doesn’t?

Im all for helping people and showing human kindness, but that isn’t what this is. It’s a self-serving expectation to convenience themselves.

With all of the people on mumsnet who berate posters for not volunteering the free lifts/childcare/pet care that they would happily hand out, it’s amazing that anyone finds themselves in a scrape to be honest.

No way. School runs are your time with your kid before you're separated for 6hrs. Just tell them your child struggles as prefers it 1:1 (toddler doesn't count) and occasionally has been fine but you can't do it on the regular it's too stressful.
If you do agree then it shouldn't be to come in your house in the mornings. You will knock for them as you leave and they can come strap her in x

No need to shout at me. If the OP doesn’t want to do she doesn’t want to do it.

So, why the HELL would she do this with nothing in it for her but inconvenience? Would you do extra hours at work without any compensation? Same thing.

So actually a taxi to work would likely be cheaper and easier to arrange.