AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

They're treating you like an unpaid nanny.

I'm not clear ont eh timings.

What time will mum start work? If they are leaving at 7.30 I'm guessing around 8am and Dad will be back at 8.30ish. can't they drop their DC at school on way back?

Does the school have a school have a breakfast club?

I would be looking for ways to make this work together as you currently do 5:5 so there is benefit but I would not be having such a young child dropped off at 7.30.

I'm also not sure why they can't do the other days/evenings when the mum isn't working.

I’d be concerned about her plans for
school holidays, tbh.

I may have missed this, so apologies if I have but are you a SAHM?
There was a great thread a few years back where other school parents had assumed that OP would be looking after their kids for the summer holidays pretty much every week day because she was a SAHM. When that OP said no the other couple went a bit nuts, saying she said she’d help (she had said in passing she could maybe help out a bit). They both turned up at her door, saying she said she would help, they were stuck and she was at home anyway. Her husband gave them what for, said yes she is a SAHM because they had made the choice that he would work, and they sacrificed her career so she could stay home and look after their children, and nobody else’s children! It was a great thread.
Some people are so entitled and cheeky!

Sounds like she's taken the job on the basis of you helping.

You'll need to say no

So he used to do all the drop offs, and you did all the pick-ups? So a completely 50/50 arrangement?

But now the plan is that he wants you to do 3 drop-offs in the morning as well as still do all the 5 pick-ups in tje afternoon?

So of the ten school journeys a week, he’s now doing 2 and asking you to do 8? (as well as provide pre-school childcare).

That’s not on!

Just be honest and say that you were happy to share the responsibility when it was 50/50 but now that it’s 80% on you, you feel a little taken advantage of.

Or can you create a reason as to why it doesn’t work for you??

Afterall, he’s now asking you to do something three mornings a week that is completely outside of your usual routine.

Just say to her no your mornings are chaotic and special family time and you don’t want to bring another child into the mix. But you are happy to continue with the status quo of ocassional lift sharing if she wants.

I'm starting to feel a bit of a mug for providing free childcare while he's actually at home ... but this new request has made me look at the whole thing differently

I don't understand why you're doing childcare when he's at home anyway, but these requests often have a way of expanding, and if you''d agreed to this there'd soon be something else, then something else again

Better to put a line in the sand before it gets completely out of control

Tell her youre not insured to be a child minder and you cant do it.

I don't like how they've made their arrangements around you doing this for them. They're taking for granted that she has this quirk that means she needs a lift, but that you can't have any such quirks that mean you don't want to do all this childcare (which is what it is effectively) for them. Reciprocated favours are one thing, but them relying on you for all this help is too much and taking the piss.

Even if there wasn't the extra detail that they could actually do the school run if the wife got herself to work (she needn't drive, it doesn't sound far to walk/bus anyway), it would still be too much of an imposition and need wraparound care, not an imposition on a neighbour who has her own life/kids/priorities to juggle without taking on their DC just to be nice. Say a nice but firm nope and don't doubt yourself.

I have a phobia of driving and don’t drive but I have never once in my life relied on anyone to get me to work. She wants drivers benefits but with no driving. She’s lazy and entitled.

No. I would have no problem saying no to this. You're end up resenting the arrangement.
None of the other details are relevant! Just simply "i would rather non thank you"

As others have said, I just wouldn’t want the regular commitment. Also, if the children are in reception, you could be stuck with this arrangement for years!
It’s not your problem to solve. It’s theirs.

She doesn’t need a village she gets to get herself to work like an adult

Agree to the arrangement for only one term. Remind them that you can not take her if your child is not going to school.

Always have a routine for neighbour child - she puts bag near your car door and waits at colouring in table for example so that your children are not distracted etc.

Extend the time if you want.

This could mean that you can ask for small favour from time to time. It could work out well.

Stay at home dad? No way.
she can drive, but chooses not to? No way.
No reprocity? No way

3 x week for 7 years is a massive deal, and it will only slip - could you just… do another day, pick up a parcel, take him to his swimming lesson, take my other child…

Why can’t the dad drop mum off then drop the child to school on the way home? If the times don’t work then mum will have to get to work a bit early and suck it up

So you already collect their DC 2 days a week. Now they want you to drop off 3 days a week. I'd say no unless she offers to pay you.

Just total cheeky fucker. I’d play it that I’m completely not understanding - your dh is at home, I don’t see the problem, he won’t even pick up ds in return? Because he has younger children? Is he not actually their dad? Have you not met my younger child? This is not going to work. If he can’t handle 3 I can’t handle 3.
I have 3 and have done the years of pick up and drop off with 2 little children.

For some reason the fact that they’ve asked your DH annoys me the most. Why have they asked him? Anyway, don’t do it.

Just say no. Say you are happy to continue the advocate reciprocal help but mornings are already a challenge with your toddler as well and you dont want to add additional pressure for yourself

It’s only 15 mins, he drops her to work 15 minutes earlier. Problem solved.

this doesn’t make any sense at all? So he could drop her at work then drop the son at school? And why can’t he collect them from school if he’s at home? Every at home parent of younger children scoops them up and takes them all to drop off and pick up?? Unless I’ve totally misunderstood, it’s a no because her dh is a lazy cheeky fucker.

This gets better and better. They didn’t even ask the person who would be doing it?! Hard no from me. She needs to work on her “driving phobia” and being less of a cheeky fucker

Their mum will have to use public transport and make her own way to work so their dad can do the school run. Absolutely say no. You just have to tell them you’re too busy in the mornings to watch an extra child.