AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

Young man, there's no need to feel down.

To all the 'it takes a village' people ...,

Did you have to, @IThrewASnakeAtPalomaFaithsFace - I now have an earworm:

"It's fun to stay at thhe YYYYY MCA"

It doesn't take much imagination to suss what her "plans" for this might be

Perhaps it's also the reason she's approached OP in early July, as in get her hooked up and then hit her with "the arrangements I'd got in place have fallen through, could you just ..."

Nah. Even if they asked your husband I’d be nipping this one in the bud directly ‘as I’m sure you understand mornings are fairly fraught and i feel the pressure of an extra child would be too much so you’re better to find a more reliable regular arrangement. Always happy to help out in an emergancy’.

theres so many solutions that don’t put the load on another family. Including her driving or her getting to work a bit earlier/later (with their child in the car) so then hubby can go back to school in time. They need to work out an alternative themselves that doesn’t inpose

To all the 'it takes a village' people, the thing that's mega cheeky about this request is that the neighbour and her husband already have a perfectly good solution to their problem that doesn't involve adding to OP's plate at all - they just don't want to do it.

That's what would piss me off the most.

Not that there's really a good excuse for taking a job that you can't get to without needing favours from other people, but if it really was a genuine 'single mum needs to get to work at X time and is really stuck' situation, maybe you'd agree as a good will gesture.

But OP is being asked to commit to this ball ache of an arrangement just because the mum can't be arsed to drive herself and the dad can't cope with his own three children. Fuck that.

Has he answered? What did he say at the time!

That’d be a hard no, she’ll have to get a taxi to work so her husbands free to do the morning school run. I’d go with the reaction I’ve seen mentioned on mumsnet before - ‘tinkly laugh’ oh sorry that doesn’t work for me.

I'd be saying I already have my hands full with my two and I just couldn't cope with another sorry . . .

Easy, you drop your toddler off with him, while you take the 2 older ones to school.

Make sure you do some shopping and came back to your house (put shopping away) and then pick toddler up. Sorted.

How on earth does he manage to do a day’s work with two such little ones in the house? That’s bonkers.

He should be taking his own child to school with that set up, not asking for free childcare.

Then the Mum gets herself to work as any adult should be able to.

It’s a bonkers favour request from a two parent family, one of whom is at home. She could alternatively start work at a time that allows her husband to do the school run and drive her in, either earlier or later. I’m sure her work wouldn’t mind her coming in earlier!

Something like “sorry, i decided not to branch out into childminding”

Unless she would be reciprocating in some way (eg by doing regular pick ups), I wouldn’t be happy with this.

It’s not just driving their child, is it? It’s having an extra kid in the house in the morning for an hour, another child to bundle out the door, another one who might need a last minute poo or whatever. And another one who might be tearful going into school. I would find that stressful. Mornings are stressful enough.

If there were reciprocity, then yeah I would potentially be up for it. Otherwise, no.

😂😂

Could you move house OP?

What's your 'wage' going to be, @99bottlesofkombucha ?

When I was in primary school our neighbour at the back of us would take me to school with her three kids every morning, but my mum was a single full time working teacher and I was good friends with her daughters, so I would have breakfast then pop through the gap in the fence every morning to their house when my mum left for work. This only went on for a year before I was old enough to walk to school by myself. I always thought it was such a nice thing for the neighbour to do for my mum.

Agree with this.

Either she gets a taxi, a bus, or they put the child in before school care so the dad can drive the mum to work on time.

Asking you to provide childcare 3 days a week so the mum can be chauffeured to work is a bit gobsmacking actually. Does she think she's a princess?

Then she needs to just say no its as simple as that.

I hope you/your DH has said no by now! She clearly accepted this job assuming you'd take up the slack for them. You need to drop the rope and she needs to overcome whatever it is that's stopping her from driving, if she can.

I would just say that while you're happy to help out with lifts home (if you are, that is) you don't want to enter into a permanent arrangement for the mornings too, so they'll have to make other plans.

No lengthy explanation, no apology, just a very clear boundary. If they don't like it and kick off, say if that's the way they're going to behave, they need to do pick ups too going forward.

Sounds like she took the job assuming you’d be good with it

They need to reciprocate

What she wants is to not do it.

I would want something back what do you work that would benefit you like she has your child 3 days after school until you finish work

I used to go to a neighbour with an arrangement like this (in the 70s). I keep meaning to ask my mum is she was paid. Surely she must have been, but I never saw any money change hands.

Anyone else also wondering what their arrangement was before this maternity leave? Did mum drive herself then or did the dad still have to take her along with a toddler and baby?