AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

Doesn’t your school have breakfast club?

i don’t think i want another kid in my house at 7:30am

mornings are chaotic in most homes.

I would get him to message them asap before they try the, ‘oh, you haven’t given us enough time to sort something else’ bollocks. Why can’t he just message them now, surely it doesn’t matter if he or they are out of the house!

I think its cheeky and presumptuous.

They must have other options pre-school clubs, family support etc. Don't feel obliged.

I'd be inclined to say that you are happy to help out on occasions, but you would not feel comfortable with them relying on you being a regular support.

You don't have to give reasons or excuses but its better to be clear from the start as its harder to get out of something once started.

I used to pay £5 a day when I drop my son off to another mum in the playground 15 minutes before school started, but that was 25 years ago.

I would just say ‘I’m sorry but I can’t make that work with my family’s needs. It’s too much. Would you like help to find a childminder who does school runs?’

personally I would expect the dad to be doing the school runs with all the kids. In my daughter’s reception class there are parents who do the school runs with the 4/5 year old and A) a 3 year old and 1 year old twins. B) a 2 year old and 1 year old. C) a 3 year old and under 1. That’s just in my daughter’s class.

Don’t do it. I volunteered for something very similar. The mornings were stressful with an extra kid in the mix. There was very little reciprocation. I ended up falling out with the family I was supposed to be helping. It would be far less awkward to decline now and bite it in the bud.

I would suggest to them about a breakfast club? Most schools have them.

Come on OP, the law of CF threads is that the CF-ee MUST update with how the refusal/confrontation/village war went.

Get on with it, love.

And then drips that actually it was her husband who was asked, but the other husband. And her husband said “I’ll get back to you”

but we didn’t get this nugget until page 15!

“I’m sorry but that wouldn’t work for our family”.

Who’s looking after the other two children? Can’t that let st on take them to school?

Even if mum doesn’t want to drive, she can walk. Younger kids in pushchair.

You would effectively besubsidising their standard of living if yiu agreed. Sound like a couple if users who want everrhing for nothing.And ger on in life at everybody elses expense

Let them pay for a registered childminder

Just say No

Think of your own child who is going to miss out of special time with you. All your memories are going to be of resentful stress and wishing you had said no. I would cancel all the arrangements in one go and be done with it as I can only imagine the situation getting worse as they get older. If you have a DH blame it on him as your excuse and if you don't then they are already out of order. Good luck x

100%. Two little ones in a double buggy and older one walks with him. Good for everyone.

Regardless of what anyone else would/wouldn't do the point is this feels like too much for you, so how can that be unreasonable?

You have your morning routine (or chaos 🤣) and this would be too disruptive right now. It's not that you 'can't' do it, it's that you don't want to. That's fine! No school run awkwardness required. You're allowed to prioritise your own household and sanity. Perhaps in a few years time you'll feel differently. My youngest is in reception now and I think having an extra for breakfast would be lovely, but I know I'd have struggled to imagine how it would all fit together 3 years ago!

If I was knocking on their door en route to school and picking up an extra for the journey that would have been fine, but them dropping off when they're ready and us having to absorb that into whatever is happening in our household at the time....no.

What message did he send back? I’ve a feeling they’ll apply pressure on you to do it. If that happens then stop all the favours asap.

Yes, it feels like that. 400 people have bothered to read the thread and reply, yet the OP is giving occasional and half-hearted replies to a tiny number of people which don’t actually answer any questions!

My daughter was friends with another little girl and the mother asked if I would pick her daughter up and drop her off with a childminder. I said no - it didn't go down well but with three kids of my own all needing picking up at different times, I just couldn't factor in another kid and in any case, the little girl could easily have stayed in the after school provision, she just preferred the child minder option. My thinking was what happens if my daughter is off school and yet I still have to do the school run to pick the other child up and drop her off with the child minder.

@Hiyaeveryone i can’t believe someone would ask you to pick up their child when they know you already have 3 of your own, with different pick up times! What did she say when you declined to do it?

I would go for a win win scenario - maybe ask them for something in return. If they're not keen, I'd say no deal then. All long term relationships have to be on a win win footing otherwise resentment builds.

It might work okay for you to have some support with say pick ups? If you'd prefer to bat all your own balls then just a "I don't want to get into any arrangements that complicate my life, I prefer to be independent but hope you get it sorted in another way".

My daughter was friends with another little girl and the mother asked if I would pick her daughter up and drop her off with a childminder. I said no - it didn't go down well but with three kids of my own all needing picking up at different times, I just couldn't factor in another kid and in any case, the little girl could easily have stayed in the after school provision, she just preferred the child minder option. My thinking was what happens if my daughter is off school and yet I still have to do the school run to pick the other child up and drop her off with the child minder.

I'm more than happy to help people out in a tight spot but regular commitments needs to be thought through and unless it is very reciprocal, it pretty soon becomes something you wish you'd said no to. Take the hit and say no early would be my advice.

I never found that at all. I used to take my neighbours twins when she worked and vice versa

I’d have to say, I don’t want the commitment , It’s like being employed having to turn up everyday and not having flexibility of doing something else. As much as yes we go the same place and at the same time. I don’t need the stress of taking your child so sorry . Besides it’s a cheek! You aren’t even related.

Just tell them “sorry I don’t want the responsibility, I’ve got enough to think about in the mornings with my lot. I honestly don’t mind the odd favour or helping out in an emergency but a regular 3 days a week thing feels like too much.”

So why doesn’t the dad walk the daughter to and from school instead then?

Over messages or In person?