AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

@Kim926 As many people have said YANBU, this neighbour is taking the piss, and they bloody well know it. 'That doesn't work for us' should suffice.

Good luck!

No way, she’s asking you to provide a very valuable wrap around childminder service for free. We’re talking possibly £2,500 a year of free (women’s of course) labour. It will be such a pain when your child is ill, has a doc’s appointment, you’re ill, have a holiday, you need to start work early etc. You’ll have to virtually have to contact them to ask permission

GPWM: Good Point Well Made @TheBlueKoala

Sorry but that's not an acronym I've seen before. Would you care to elaborate ?

GPWM

It’s already come up and he can’t pick up the ops child… because he has two younger children. Make sense? No, me either. My eldest has two younger siblings and I miraculously got him to school and back 🤷‍♀️

I've been in your shoes and I would say don't do it. I'm all for helping out other parents occasionally but I also think that parents need to make independent arrangements. When DS was in yr1, I was asked if a classmate could be dropped off at mine because mum was returning to work and dad worked shifts. I didn't appreciate how much it changed the dynamic in the morning. I suddenly had to be dressed, ready for when they arrived instead of my usual washing DS, then leaving him with breakfast while I had a shower, bathroom door open. DS would mess around because his friend was there, faffing about instead of eating his breakfast. His friend didn't always want to go to school so had to deal with that too. After two months, his mum was made redundant and the arrangement stopped but something that sounded simple on paper was actually a total pain.

It’s an unreasonable request,she’s a cf. This would a layer of chaos to your morning which would build up over time. They might be late, be high maintenance, distract your children, mess around with your kids. Don’t do this, getting young kids to school in the mornings is difficult enough without adding extra work. She should not have asked.

@Kim926 Are we sure the mum is a CF? Isn't it rather the dad- who has been asking OP's dh about school run- who is a cheeky fucker? Perhaps he told her "hey, Kim will take Lisa to school " and she said "No, I can't possibly ask her this" and he went ahead and contacted OPs dh. Which is bonkers because he's not the one there in the morning. Just saying. It might be that they are cf both of them and planned this together but I feel sorry for the other mum if she's innocent...

Easily!! Or mum could get the bus

Equally if one of your kids is ill, you would then still have to drag them out the house somehow to get this other child to school. I'd say I'm happy to help on the odd occasion or in an emergency but don't wish to do so on a regular basis. And I'd recommend the breakfast club.

So what happens when your child is sick or you have other things on? Are you still going to hsve into accommodate your neighbours child? Or are you expected to coordinate your leave and make sure they can cover??

As you well know it is a commonly used phrase when people type in capitals.

Sorry but they are just trying to take you for a mug for free childcare.
Why can’t the Mum just drive? Why can’t the Dad take all 3 children when doing drop offs?
I have 3 children and had to always take my younger two when dropping my eldest off when they were younger.
If you choose to have children you prioritise your life around them not dump them on someone else!

i think you will get an idea of the dynamic if you agree to this and propose this as a quid pro quo. My guess is they will refuse

I think it’s absolutely fair enough for you to say no as it will make your mornings harder. My knee jerk reaction was that she is cheeky for asking, because I wouldn’t dream of it. But then I remembered when I was a kid, our neighbour over the road took me to and from school and looked after me for an hour every day for years. It used to be much more commonplace for neighbours to ask these favours of each other, so maybe she’s not that cheeky for asking. But it’s totally fine to say no, they will just have to sort a breakfast club or childminder for her like most parents do

Am I the only one who's shocked that her DH is working out with the OP's DH how her time will be used? Oi mate get your missus to take our kids each day!

WTAF

I made the mistake of doing this before and it was a nightmare. The child was dropped off at 7am (most of the time before this), when I needed to get my youngest up. My 2 kids were older than my friends child and they HATED having someone else in the house during this time. I did have to say I cant do it anymore, also didnt help that the dog (little pomeranian) really disliked my friends child 🤦‍♀️ so I had to try and get everyone ready for school whilst keeping the dog and child separate ect.

I would also be wary in your situation as they have 2 younger children they may hope to be able to leave them to you also in the future.

My youngest finishes primary school next week and I cannot wait to not have to do school run 🤣

It's a text, it has no sound.

When I was in primary school I went to a neighbours house for about half an hour before school and then was walked to school by their Mum. I'm sure this was the case for years, but that it started when I was around 8. We were close family friends and did a lot of stuff together socially. I don't recall my mum reciprocating with the childcare help though, I'll have to ask her about this!

Now I've got kids of my own, I think this is am insanely big ask! Maybe it's cos I find it absolute chaos just trying to get my own ready and out of the door on time.

You are definitely entitled to say sorry but no, it's too much of a commitment and too much to manage with your 2yo. You should not inconvenience yourself just because the other Mum won't drive herself to work.

What’s your DH going to say? In all honesty if they have to get a childminder they may realise its going to cost them, so change their own routine rather than trying to get you to change yours

I think not feeling comfortable doing this type of arrangements is a good enough reason to say no.

You might perhaps respond that it's a huge commitment so you could occasionally help but cannot guarantee commitment.

She shouldn't ask in the first place, you're not a friend or relative. I don't see reasons to feel guilty for that, it'd definitely would be too much an intrusion in your routine. And you're not supposed to solve her problems.

Yes, I would do it and in fact I did do it every day for a neighbour for a couple of years. Then, after the school year ended, I asked for a small favour from them when I was in a tight spot, and they said no. I don't regret helping them out but it did disabuse me of the idea that assistance is understood as a reciprocal arrangement.

This. But if you haven’t replied either way to the request, surely they can’t assume you will be doing it?

It’s basically free wrap around / child minder care

i would never ask this of anyone. I only ask for help in an emergency but you have to plan your life around school pick up and drop off. The end