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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

514 replies

Kim926 · 10/07/2026 20:01

Our next-door neighbours have a daughter in the same Reception class as my son.

We already help each other with school pick-ups occasionally, and I've been happy with that arrangement.

The mum is now increasing her working days to three days a week after maternity leave and has asked if, on those three mornings, they can leave their daughter with us before work so that I can take her to school with my son.

For a bit more context, the mum isn't unable to drive, but she doesn't drive. Her husband drives her to work, which is about 15 minutes away, and this is why they need someone else to take their daughter to school on those mornings.

They literally live next door and I'm obviously going to the same school anyway, so I know it might not sound like a huge extra task. I also have a two-year-old at home, though, and mornings with my own two children are already busy.

I think what has made me uncomfortable is that this isn't really an occasional favour or helping out in an emergency. It would be a regular three-day-a-week arrangement because of their change in working pattern. It feels a little like their childcare/school run responsibility is being transferred to us simply because we happen to live next door and our children attend the same school.

I also feel awkward saying no because we are literally next-door neighbours and I will inevitably see them at school drop-off on the days I've said I can't do it.

AIBU to think three mornings every week is quite a lot to ask of a neighbour? Or is this considered a fairly normal favour between families when the children go to the same school?

OP posts:
ilbehonest · 10/07/2026 20:53

ask her if £100 a week is fine and then when she gasps just remind her cheeky questions get cheeky answers.

on a serious note. say no sorry I don't want to commit because I have poor mental health ATM (people seem to leave you alone when you say this)

Whyherewego · 10/07/2026 20:53

Just offer a reciprocal arrangement. So yes I can drop off if you do pick up. Then if they refuse it's a them thing not a you thing

RealReginaPhalange · 10/07/2026 20:52

I would help out. Why everything has to be so transactional? You live next door, you go to school anyway, it literally costs you nothing.

i am assuming child will be ready to go and wont be needing breakfast.

ForeverNowWithin · 10/07/2026 20:52

So who is currently taking their child to school and who did it before she went on mat leave?

SummitWrong · 10/07/2026 20:52

Kim926 · 10/07/2026 20:21

Currently her dad does the drop-offs and I do the pick-ups. But now he needs to drive her mum to work, they've asked me to do the drop-offs as well three days a week. On the other two days, they do the usual drop-offs and I still do the pick-ups. He can't do the pick-ups on those three days either as he has their other two children with him, whereas I only have one younger child.

Show quote history

Why are you picking up their kid when dad is sat at home with the younger ones?

TheBlueKoala · 10/07/2026 20:52

@Kim926 Just tell them: "Sorry, but mornings can be quite hectic for us so I won't be able to help you out in the morning." End of.

Clarabell77 · 10/07/2026 20:51

Just read your updates about the pick ups - cheeky fuckers, tell them no and stop all the pick ups as well.

Happytorepeatmyself · 10/07/2026 20:51

Cat’s chance in hell I’d agree to this

but this is not the sort of thing to hang around on. Just be polite but firm, so she has time to arrange something else. Drop her the message now in fact

Nickyknackered · 10/07/2026 20:50

Kim926 · 10/07/2026 20:21

Currently her dad does the drop-offs and I do the pick-ups. But now he needs to drive her mum to work, they've asked me to do the drop-offs as well three days a week. On the other two days, they do the usual drop-offs and I still do the pick-ups. He can't do the pick-ups on those three days either as he has their other two children with him, whereas I only have one younger child.

Show quote history

So he can't manage 3 children but you are expected to manage 3 children....

IceLollly · 10/07/2026 20:50

Another mum at primary did used to walk my DD to school 3 days a week for several years. She would wait at their house for 5 minutes at most. I return I regularly took her DD out and after school. The girls were friends though and I was friends with mum, I walked with her on my days off.
I did always want her to feel like it was worth her time.

Bournetilly · 10/07/2026 20:50

Can the dad not take the mum to work earlier? It’s not fair to ask you to do drop offs 3 days per week as well as pick ups.

herbetta · 10/07/2026 20:49

I suggest asking for payment, as it's going to take up a lot of your time to both mind & the child and do the drop off. If they agree, do it for a trial period.

PinkFrogss · 10/07/2026 20:48

Tell them unfortunately you are unable to, but you’ve heard the school breakfast club is great and probably has spaces for the next school year.

It sounds like the dad is at home when she’s at work, and vice versa. So there’s always a parent around anyway and they just need to sort out their routine. That’s not your problem.

hugasaurus · 10/07/2026 20:48

IronEverything · 10/07/2026 20:14

I'd say no, mornings are already hectic enough. It also sounds alike they've been pretty presumptuous and made job commitments under the assumption that you'd provide them with free childcare.

Agreed. Adding someone else’s child into the already chaotic morning routine is not something I would want. An occasional favour is fine but no way would I commit to this.

Clarabell77 · 10/07/2026 20:48

How long will the child be in your house before you have to leave for school?

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 10/07/2026 20:48

No it will make your mornings much harder and there's no benefit to you. Time with your kids is precious and gone too soon - don't spend it doing childcare for a cheeky neighbour

comealongdobbeh · 10/07/2026 20:47

It doesn’t matter whether or not it is too much to ask. What matters is how you feel about it - do you want to make this commitment?

Pancakeorcrepe · 10/07/2026 20:47

Do I understand correctly you already do all pick-ups for them? Wtaf
They are taking you for a mug.
They wanted three children, they need to look after them. There are plenty of solutions, she needs to work it out. Stop the pick-ups, tell her it is their turn now

LejlaKapovic · 10/07/2026 20:46

Kim926 · 10/07/2026 20:01

Our next-door neighbours have a daughter in the same Reception class as my son.

We already help each other with school pick-ups occasionally, and I've been happy with that arrangement.

The mum is now increasing her working days to three days a week after maternity leave and has asked if, on those three mornings, they can leave their daughter with us before work so that I can take her to school with my son.

For a bit more context, the mum isn't unable to drive, but she doesn't drive. Her husband drives her to work, which is about 15 minutes away, and this is why they need someone else to take their daughter to school on those mornings.

They literally live next door and I'm obviously going to the same school anyway, so I know it might not sound like a huge extra task. I also have a two-year-old at home, though, and mornings with my own two children are already busy.

I think what has made me uncomfortable is that this isn't really an occasional favour or helping out in an emergency. It would be a regular three-day-a-week arrangement because of their change in working pattern. It feels a little like their childcare/school run responsibility is being transferred to us simply because we happen to live next door and our children attend the same school.

I also feel awkward saying no because we are literally next-door neighbours and I will inevitably see them at school drop-off on the days I've said I can't do it.

AIBU to think three mornings every week is quite a lot to ask of a neighbour? Or is this considered a fairly normal favour between families when the children go to the same school?

Absolutely not. Tell her this arrangement doesn't suit you, and you also can't commit to a regular arrangement.

Hundslappadrifa · 10/07/2026 20:46

No chance! Far too much hassle and responsibility.

NemoNerd · 10/07/2026 20:46

So hang on … not only are you losing the dad’s help with your morning drop-off , you now have to take THEIR kid too AND you’re still doing the pickups??

Hell no!

I would say “to be honest, mornings are already going to be stressful enough trying to get out of the door on time with the toddler too. I couldn’t manage having a third child too.. It is a shame because it worked so nicely when we could reciprocate taking or picking up the kids.”

DaisyDooley · 10/07/2026 20:44

“No I can’t. That doesn’t work for me”.
“No. I don’t want to make a commitment like that”
”No -but thanks for thinking of me”.
“No - I may be changing my work situation so cannot commit”.
“No. I don’t want to do that”.
”No”.

TheBrunswick · 10/07/2026 20:42

@Kim926 wait.
You already do all pick ups?
That's shocking, you are being used.

BennyHenny · 10/07/2026 20:41

Don’t be a mug OP, you sound like you’d be an unpaid childminder!

HereIsWhatIKnow · 10/07/2026 20:41

You've been picking up their child 5x a week, despite her Dad already picking up her siblings?
Without payment?
And now you are expected to do 8x?
Without any reciprocity?

And you get the occasional emergency help?

Far too much in their favour, even if they are next door. They saw you coming.