AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

Absolutely not for me. The mornings are enough with your own children without adding someone else’s into the mix. Do you have to drive them to school? I’d just say I’m not comfortable driving your child in case we had an accident etc. I think they are taking the piss tbh. If they can’t manage it between them they need to utilise breakfast clubs or childminders, not neighbours.

I don’t think it’s that cheeky to ask but I also think it’s perfectly ok for you to say that you can’t help out. Just say that you are happy to do it occasionally on an emergency basis but that it’s already too hectic with your own kids. Don’t apologise or over explain.

Experience tells me this is a nightmare. What happens when your child wakes up with a cold or an upset stomach - would you still be expected to bundle your own sick child in the car and take theirs because it’s too short notice for them to make other plans? I know that seems difficult, but dropping a child ad hoc with a text to check if you can do it is one thing (as you can easily say not at that point), but an on-going commitment will be a onerous and lead to conflict and resentment.

Be a back up plan for emergencies for them, but I’d strongly advise against being their plan A. I did that, it became a 4 year commitment and when I said we needed to review, there were major histrionics and the mother of the children I had 3 days a week [ and 6-10 weeks a year when she traveled on business, for free] never spoke to me again.

If your child is sick, or your toddler is sick and so you're not able to go to school on one of the 3 days, she'll be the first one to complain.

OP this is outrageously cheeky of her. You have enough on your plate!

This is why I’m so glad I send my dc to a school 10mins away and not the one next door to me 🤣🤣

I can’t believe people accept jobs based on their neighbour helping them out.

If I had the brass neck to do this - I would at least say ‘I know it’s a big ask and I’ll give you £25 a week to cover the inconvenience.’

So they could bundle all the children in the car to drive mum to work rather than roping in two neighbours to do their wraparound childcare.

As your child gets older you’ll find the school run is actually quite important time. I tend to run through times tables, have chats about the day etc. it’s never quite the same when there are others (which does sometimes happen). I will always help out if things are tricky for others and vice versa but I wouldn’t want to get into a specific commitment of most days each week.

I had a similar request from a neighbour who wanted to rest during her pregnancy. I had 2 under 7 and could not entertain 2 more children. Hers were hard work too! I worried about what to say but in the end decided the truth was easier. I told her that I was sorry but didn’t want to arrange to look after her children on a permanent basis as I would find it stressful. But was still happy covering emergencies. She managed to get another neighbour to do it instead and she moaned about being trapped into this arrangement as she was taking her own children in at the same time! Don’t start anything permanent because you’ll be doing it for years!!! She can enquire about breakfast club like everyone else.

What happens if your child is unwell and not able to go to school?

Don’t do this. This is cheeky.
her new job is not your problem. They can get a childminder or pay for breakfast club.

YANBU. It’s too much. I’ve only ever asked my neighbour or another school run mum to very occasionally help me out when one of my children has been unwell at home but the other is well and needs to go to school. I also offer to do the same for them. If I needed 3 day a week cover I’d use the breakfast club.

No you should not commit to this @Kim926. Helping out in an emergency is fine but committing to it three times a week is too much. If ever you have your own crisis and need to rely on family or friends to help out you would be obliged to make sure their DD was covered too.

And you don't have to justify it. Just say you would prefer to stick to the current arrangement, and then stick to your guns.

An hour before school is insane, and why can’t the dad do drop offs or pick ups with two other children? Plenty of parents of three manage to drop and collect their kids at my son’s school. What happens when the next oldest is due to start school and dad is still driving mum to work, are you then taking them to school as well since you’re already going that way? I would do an occasional favour but absolutely not a regular arrangement. They chose to have three kids, they need to cope with their three kids and she needs to drive herself to work?! Or walk - if it’s a 15 minute drive it can’t be that far away, or make use of breakfast club and drop the kid off on the way there or back.

School runs are precious 121 time with my children where we enjoy chatting about our day, no way would I commit to doing this 3 days pw for all the reasons given already. Say no, their childcare and work arrangements are for them to sort.

This, I would set up an arrangement so that you can get some help in return. Then it wouldn't feel like just one sided. And it would be a shared arrangement.
Don't say an outright no, just say if you can have shared arrangement.

Saying no, would become awkward.
Also just you helping out would become a burden.

Doesn’t matter. Put it to them - up to them to work out that it’s not going to work.

I wouldn’t say yes. I’d just say my child likes to chat to me 1-2-1. Which he does. Morning walk with him is my fave time of day so I wouldn’t say yes!

Be careful, she's trying to impose herself on you.

It might not be so terrible if she was asking you to do it say once a week and you were collecting the child from her house. But what she's proposing is taking the Mick and I'd have to say to her sorry, but this isn't going to work for me.

Honestly, it will just cause problems in the long run. What if you or your child are ill for example and need to stay at home? Or one of you has an appointment in the morning?

She needs a proper arrangement to get her child to school, not rely on another mum indefinitely.

He can't do the pick ups as he has 2 other young children? What a load of nonsense! Of course he can. I had 3 young kids with 2 at home and one at school, and I often used to pick up an extra friend or cousin too. What's his excuse?

Why does having the other two children stop him doing the pick-ups? I have three children, when oldest was at school I managed both to take him to school and collect him with the other two in tow, and I'm quite sure the same could be said of other parents of three (or more) children all over the country.

Say no, you can’t do it for personal reasons.

What on Earth is going on here? How many times per week are you collecting their child from school, already? While they can’t reciprocate at all, because “reasons” - including the fact he apparently can’t possibly take his two younger kids with him to collect the eldest from school - like literally millions of parents must do, each school day? But it’s easy for you to do, because you only have one younger child and are going anyway?

And now, they’re asking you to do the morning school run with their eldest, three days per week? Because of, again, their “reasons” - which sound more like self-imposed limitations than actual reasons - which in any event are none of your concern and not your problem.

And you are actually considering this? Why?! Do you have aspirations to become an unpaid childminder? What possible reason could make you even consider this? Why do these neighbours seem to think they have a right to your time/attention/energy? It’s all a bit mad.

Tell you what, I’ve got an idea. Doggie daycare is really expensive, and I’m in the office a couple of days per week. Why don’t I drop the hound round at yours in the morning - I mean, you’ll be there ANYWAY. And you can take her for walks, on the school run - because you’ll be going ANYWAY. And it’ll make my life easier, more convenient and less expensive. Oh, I won’t offer you any form of payment or favours back, because, you know - “reasons” - but you won’t mind. Because it won’t be an effort, inconvenience or any work for you AT ALL. And I’m not taking the absolute piss or being a CF AT ALL, just because I don’t value your time and want you to do free childcare to facilitate my life………