AIBU to think this is a bit much to ask for school run?

ok if your definition of being a good person is saying yes to everything and being a mug.

A much better life lesson to your kids would be to demonstrate how it’s ok to say no and set boundaries for yourself while still being a good friend and neighbour.

No way....just say you can't commit to that as you have to manage both your 2 in the morning....

Ad hoc is one thing commitment to every day is something else....

I agree with the pps about a mutual benefit. Also a time limit. Is this for 1 school year then will be reviewed. Perhaps the child will be old enough for breakfast club by then. This arrangement has the potential to result in their expectation and your resentment. How many minutes will the child be with you before you leave for school run.

We had a similar situation with a family upstairs. We decided that we didn’t want to have something set up.

while it can be difficult to push back if you don’t want to do it, it is perfectly reasonable to do so. Especially as it is unpaid childcare. What if you decided to go to a morning club (our school has karate before class)

This lady needs a bike or a bus! Surely you wouldn’t expect your little kids to be schlepping in the car every morning and afternoon because you can’t find your own way to work. Thats before we get to the other requests.

He could still do the pick up though? Presumably mum doesn't finish work til 5pm, so he could still do the 3.30 school run. He just doesn't want to with a toddler and baby.

Also shouldn't this be something you consider when choosing to have 3 children? Whether you can afford them and make arrangements to ensure they get to school?
What would they do if the neighbour didn't have a child going to the same school? They would have to use breakfast clubs then or find another way for mum to get to work.

I’m confused why you feel a mug when her husband takes your child to school in the mornings and you pick up. That feels pretty equal to me?

Unless you take your own child and pick up theirs too?

WelshRabBite
So, the Dad could do all the school runs and she could just drive herself to work?
But instead she wants you to do morning childcare and drop offs so she can be a passenger princess?

To be fair this could be the difference between one and two cars for them and or maybe she’s a shit/ nervous driver!

if you’re happy to, I’d say I could do one morning. You don’t need to explain why only one. Equally if one doesn’t work then just say no, that you don’t want to commit to the responsibility long term.

Childcare during the school / work years is hard work and when someone can help it’s a great relief, but 3 days a week is a lot and they need a plan b rather than just hoping you’ll do it for however long. They also need to be able to offer to drop off or do pick ups for you in return.
Plus as PP have said, what happens if your child is off sick, or has a Dr it dental appointment and is going in late.

None of this makes sense!

I don't understand why he can't pick his own child up and that you do that already 5 days a week. Many parents battle the school run with toddlers and babies so what makes him so special? Presumably he has chosen to be a SAHD so why is he opting out of some of the responsibilities.

Being nosy I also don't get how the mum is going back to work part time but somehow that supports the family of 5. She must be on good money which is why it also seems a bit odd that she can't drive herself to work or make alternative arrangements herself. I guess in my head I am imagining a confident professional.

Does dad not work at all? What happens on the days mum is home too? That doesn't make sense as if she is only just returning from maternity leave now, there would have been two adults at home, so one stays with the toddler and baby while the other did the pick up?

None of this really makes sense unless there is more to add (e.g. dad does work shifts or the other days).

I would say yes to this because being a good neighbour is important and because it models good behaviour to your children

I take it they haven't offered payment? I'd usually be in favour of helping anyone but I would feel a lack of respect here.

It's too much. The mum need to get herself to work and the Dad needs to drive the kids or walk them to school. Same with pick ups. 5 year old can easily manage a 30 minute walk.

Lots of people have pointed out that any of the children can be sick. I know it's a little early but it will come round sooner than you think, what if your child has a play date or an after school party or activity. You have to schlep in just for their child.

I am assuming they want this arrangement for the next school year. Nip it in the bud now. Concentrate on your children. CFs indeed.

I was wondering how on earth they got to be so wealthy that they can support three children on one part-time wage but I suppose CFs are best placed to manage it!

It’s fine to just want your own family in your home before school most of the time. It doesn’t mean you’re unhelpful or lacking in ‘community’.

Giving the child a lift is one thing, being asked to babysit prior to that is quite another. I think you need to make that delineation clear and conditional. Your mornings are probably frantic enough without being a child minder. They need to deal with said child up to and including putting into car - lift ok, child minding not.

Do they only have one car as I can see the benefit of him dropping her at work if her taking the car means he is at home without one , that said I can’t see why he can’t drop his own kid to school if he has already put the 2 smaller ones in the car to take her to work .

I'd work out what's bothering you. If it's the need for tit for tat then like others said, you need to ask for something in return. If it's genuinely that you don't want the responsibility or infrigement on your morning time three times a week, then just explain that it doesn't work for you to have that much responsibility for someone else's child on such a permanent basis. You're happy to help out one week a month or every two months, but the childcare needs to be split between more people than just you. Can also say you value your mornings with your own kids and don't want to change up your routine.

If it was a single parent family and there was no one else, I’d consider it, but they are taking the piss. They are a two parent family. Mum needs to adjust her working hours.

This is the problem! I wouldn’t want anyone relying on me to the extent I was tied to a school run even if my own child was ill.

This will escalate to the kid needing breakfast, then a forgotten costume/book day/£1 to charity day/missing water bottle which will be your problem at the last minute.

I wouldn’t be touching this with a ten foot pole - it’s childcare and adding extra duties to your hectic morning.

If she knew she had an aversion to driving then they need to organise a childminder - not rely on neighbours doing the grunt work.

It’s hard as they are your neighbours so I would say - no that is asking too much for me each morning

Your neighbour needs to get a bus or bike to work

I'm sure you can work out a new mutually beneficial arrangement. It's only a change to the usual routine, not a whole new concept.

her driving to work would sort out this problem but a) for whatever reason she can't or won't b) it create a different problem they would then need two cars.

it sounds like you prefer them doing the mornings while you do the pick ups and you're not very happy to do it the other way round. Which I totally get but that no longer works for them.

This is what breakfast club is for

Car pools are a life saver but this doesn't sound like there's any reciprocation and even my closest mum school pals wouldn't ask me to take their kid every week three times a week without there being some sort of quid pro quo, we all help each other out massively but there's always been an understanding that you don't use parent pals as permanent childcare that you depend on unless it's mutual. What happens when your kid is off sick? I am in a car pool and it's absolutely brilliant but we all take our share and cover each other's backs

Once you take on these kinds of favours they tend to escalate and are often not reciprocated when you yourself have a need.