AIBU to not lend a dress to a family member?

It most definitely IS a life skill not to be a doormat.

Going back two generations in my family, it's clear that one doormat actually fostered extreme misogyny in her three sons. They now wreak havoc in their broken relationships.

Under one circumstance... If they destroy it they need to give you the money to buy another one...

and how do you enforce this if they refuse?

hahahahahahaha

Well... It already got a bit problematic. Sharing is a good thing... I honestly believe that we need to look after others more. If you believe that the girl won't destroy it maybe worth considering it? Under one circumstance... If they destroy it they need to give you the money to buy another one...

SCP alert!

Spontaneously combusting pants.

she is a 15 year old girl they don’t like to lend their things especially if they are expensive I would take the hint any slight hesitance and I would never ask again not that I would or ever asked in the first place let her text no I don’t want to lend my dress with no follow up I don’t want to lend my dress it’s too expensive and I don’t like lending my clothes I hope you understand one text and you as a mum don’t say anything or it could become a family problem , if she was willing I would lend it and hope they take care but she isn’t so that’s the end of it they should just back off.

I have lent expensive clothes to people, not even family and who an afford the money, never even got a thank you, suit not returned and when we asked for it back for our other child was told it had been damaged in the cleaners, load of rubbish as cleaners would need to be insured, but we wouldn't have been told had we not asked, Still not returned, no thanks, no apology, not a mention, so be careful

when he bought a lovely one his neighbour was wanting to borrow it within a few days and I remember him saying "if you break it can you afford to replace it?" the neighbour said "yes!" dads reply was "Go and buy your own then!"

Go dad. That's hilarious.

A member of my.husbands family asked if they could borrow my wedding dress. I thought on my feet and said I had put it up for sale but I would give her first refusal. She didn't ask again.

That is slick. 😎

No one can say if the dress will not get spoiled. The answer to that request is no. It’s not a prom dress it’s a dress you daughter has worn since and will do again . Give them details of where the dress was bought and the price . A photo of the receipt might shock them! No one would lend an expensive dress to another child , family or not! Ignore future requests a final no and that’s it!

But its not her dress it's her daughter's and she doesn't want to risk lending it....would you force someone else to loan something of theirs out?

FFS what planet are you on?!! Who asks for a deposit from relative?! It’s a dress.

You have already answered your own question - no. I never lend anything that I wouldn't be prepared to lose. And they can't guarantee that it won't get ruined. My wedding dress had sauce spilled down it (not by me) and the dry cleaning ruined it - it came back limp and lifeless. I lend things freely but only if I am prepared to never see them again (and btw, it's very surprising that often I do never see them again even if I have said I would like it returned and the other person has said they will definitely return it!)

😂😂😂

a noble cause.

Or - say yes as long as a refundable £500 deposit is paid? However that is a firm second in my mind to saying no.

Such a good point! 👏

Her daughter has already said she doesn't want anyone lending it.

After my dad being the only lawnmower owner in his little section of houses (yes! i know a lawn mower is different!) it kept coming back broken and dad bought another only to be asked can i borrow it but when he bought a lovely one his neighbour was wanting to borrow it within a few days and I remember him saying "if you break it can you afford to replace it?" the neighbour said "yes!" dads reply was "Go and buy your own then!" he must have been having a bad day but the guy never asked again . If he had lent it out they'd be back again. be firm, use my dads phrase, and they can get lost ! x

It’s your daughter’s dress. Her decision is final.

My daughter got a beautufull prom dress,i
Paid £300.00,,i said to her lets sells it ,ive just asked her ,would you lend your prom dress to your best friend,She said No.
Just ask your daugher and she whats she says ?

I already have

There is enough bitterness in the world without interpreting the 'I would lend the dress' posts here as pious.

Hey OP we have another one! @Luvnhugs just PM your details to the OP and she will pass them on.

A member of my.husbands family asked if they could borrow my wedding dress. I thought on my feet and said I had put it up for sale but I would give her first refusal. She didn't ask again.