AIBU to not lend a dress to a family member?

My GC has just got a lovely dress from Shein. I see another poster got in first. There's just been sales on, they knew prom would have been happening, they should have the budget for something. They can't replace the dress and your DD can still make use of it, so it's a no.

It's still not yours to lend. And I seriously question whether they would lend it if they knew that, if it got damaged, it wouldn't be replaced.

If my daughter didn’t want to and she was going to wear the dress again, as in this case no I wouldn’t.

Most schools lend out prom dresses to those who can’t afford it. One of my daughter’s prom dresses was expensive (from a specialist prom shop), the other just a nice dress online that was a lot cheaper that she wanted as would wear it again. She picked both dresses.

Shein and various other shops have dresses of all different budgets. It’s not your responsibility to fund/find a dress that I’m sure they have had enough notice about.

You also do not need to spend that much on a dress. There are loads in charity shops, on vinted or online for under £100. My friends dd wore an old dress of hers.

They are rude to push the issue. It's fine to ask and it's fine to say no. That should be the end of it.

bit different to be charitable for someone humble

and standing firm to a CF who is making demands don't you think? In fairness, the kid might have just asked, which in itself is ok, and it's her own relatives who are CF, nothing to do with her.

"DD really doesnt want to lend it and it is her dress and her decision. I have had a quick look and there are some gorgeous dresses on Vinted that are much cheaper than a new one. I am sure you will find something!"

FFS. You think it’s “pious” to teach children to help others?? Personally, I do not. This thread makes me wonder how we ever ended up with a Labour government!!

You are not obliged to lend your relative anything, especially such an expensive and well loved dress. Could you suggest to all the family members sticking their noses in that u all chip in some money for her to buy or rent an item. See how keen they all are to help if it costs them something!

The person who,wants to borrow it may have every intention of returning it in good condition but things happen, clothes get ripped and drinks spilt on them. Dresses do not last forever. Every wear will age it a bit.

Apart from no should mean no, it’s her property,
one of the things that would bug me is the photos. If I’d bought an expensive dress and had lots of photos of me in it, I wouldn’t want someone else posting or having photos in the same dress that close to me. If they can’t afford a dress for them to buy her then they won’t be able to afford the dry cleaning afterwards either which I’d insist on for any dress. Stick to your guns and teach your daughter the lesson never a borrower or a lender be!! And… no good deed goes unpunished!

That is very generous of your daughter, but this is a different situation. The OP's daughter does not want to lend her dress. End of.

"We are now both getting texts from other family members to say my daughter should lend the dress to the other girl, she’s family, she won’t ruin it, she can’t afford her own etc."

Suggested response: 'If it is so important to you that Rachel have a £500 dress might I suggest you fund it? Because I will not be doing so.'

I despise flying monkeys.

Oh don't be so pious! It is not better to give something you want to wear again and risk it being damaged.

Lending outfits and clothing is quite common, but it really depends on who you're lending it to.

A £50 quid dress, absolutely id encourage my daughter to share it, but not insist as it’s her stuff.

£500, no way. Too much could go wrong and if they can’t afford a dress they can’t afford to replace it when inevitably it is damaged.

No, just refuse. It’s special to you and lending it out will taint that.

Whatever the question, shite made by slaves and sold by Shein is never the answer.

My dd found out that one of her younger friends from high school wasn’t going to prom as they didn’t want to burden their family with the costs. Dd lent her dress, another friend the shoes, they persuaded another dad to drive her. I’m so fucking proud of her.

but yeah it’s up to you. My dd dress cost 300 quid. I’m glad someone else is getting a use out of it.

I once lent a special item of attire that I had bought on travels abroad. A friend asked to borrow it and I willingly lent it. She ruined the item to the point where I couldn’t wear it anymore. I was gutted. Of course it was an accident but a valuable lesson never to lend something you’d be upset to not get back. If it’s not lent, there’s no concern about paying or not paying if it’s ruined. Prom dresses can be rented…

I'd send them a link to Shein.

She'll find something in there that'll do fine.

She doesnt want to. That should be the end of it.

It is was me (because im a cow) I would say yes she can borrow it but she has to give me, in cash, in advance, £X, which is what it would cost to replace the dress.

If it comes back spotless as they are adamant it would, they get the money back. If its damaged in any way, you keep the money.

What do they mean they dont want to? But they are certain the dress won't be ruined, so theyll get their money right back, what on earth are they worried about (confused face)

But, unlike me, you are probably not a psychopath who likes to toy with dickheads, so a simple no she cant borrow it is the way to go. 😁

I’m really surprised at these responses. And a bit depressed