AIBU to not lend a dress to a family member?

So you are actually on the same page as OP. OP has already established that the dress would not be fixed or replaced or paid for if something happened to it and on that basis OP will not be lending it to CF.

OP, the bottom line is do not loan out something you value.
Anything can happen to it, even if the borrower took care.
Only loan out things that you are prepared to let go of.

Its reasonable to say No. It is very special to her and we don't want to loan it.

Young girls go to vinted, charity shops and pick up fabulous dresses. Let her do that.

The type of cheeky fxxker that would ask is not the type to replace it.
If it was damaged and you asked you would be told where to go, they couldn't afford it and probably, you shouldn't have loaned it.

Be firm and kill it.

Again, I can’t understand what you’re on about? Have you been banned from Waitrose? If you like it you can go…..

Of course they'll agree that it be returned in its original condition. That means absolutely nothing.

That'll be why they want to borrow it...

Ok that's fine, and I don't even mind that you're mocking me, but when the bluetits bring over the bottle, could they also bring some nice crisps, olives, decent bread, a selection of cheeses and some membrillo. I like waitrose for things like that.
Hmm thinking about it, you might need to send a baby dear with it all, it's a lot to carry for such tiny birds.
So glad you're a nice person 😘

I've just spotted your username. 😃 That is all.

I don’t get it, at all? We have a Labour government and everyone seems to be happy about the “redistribution of wealth”. Unless, it’s THEIR wealth, clearly 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
When they’ve bought it, no one else has a look in?? It’s MINE!!!
If anyone saying they wouldn’t lend it votes Labour? Shame on you.

Aye..wonder if the generous relatives with others belongings would be keen to lend a £500 item.

Good for you. Hold your ground. I have several items of clothing at £500 and upwards which I adore and would never lend out.

And I think it was very thrifty to buy a dress that your daughter can actually rewear.

Don't forget shoes, handbag and jewellry too 😅

You are hilarious!!!
They need the laughing emoji back

I’m the first at the bar, and last out the taxi. Out of everyone I know, I’d say I’m the most generous. However, asking to borrow my stuff just boils my pi$$.

What gets me is the shear f*cking laziness and entitlement of it all.

You and your DD have no doubt spent hours researching, window shopping, trying on, to- ing and fro-ing, looking at accompanying hairstyles, shoes, bag and makeup. You have probably said to yourself “God, it’s a hell of a lot of money, I must be crazy, but I’m going to get it for my DD because she has worked so hard at school/ is a great kid. I know she’ll take great joy from it, cherish and wear it lots. Ok, I’m going to get it for her”. Then watched her with pride as she got ready and delighted in this amazing treat that you’ve been able to give her.

Then a relative sees her in a picture, and decides they are entitled to it.

No, just f*ck off. Go do the groundwork and get your own special dress.

Where I do feel YABU OP is where you have possibly given these CF’ers the opportunity to covet your DD’s things. From now on don’t give them the opportunity to try and pick off her nice stuff. Don’t give them photos.

I actually have a relative who used to copy all my clothes. It drove me nuts. For many years I turned up in my scruffiest shit just do they couldn’t copy me.

Your DD has every right to make her own decision on this.

I was 19 and I’d saved up for it. It was ruined. My auntie replaced the skirt but it never looked the same.
Honestly most people who borrow stuff don’t appreciate it or look after it.

Just say NO. End of conversation. No reasons need to be given. If you say it will be ruined, the comeback will be 'no it wont'.

Zinfandel? I’m sure you do 🤣🤣🤣 but I think you’ve had a tad too much.
OP asked if she was being UR. This is an open forum, I think she is.

I probably would. Sorry🤷‍♀️.

I can’t imagine ever asking someone a favour like this. Talk about taking the piss.

Asking to borrow a young girls brand new five hundred quid dress, absolute fucking cheek.

What's depressing is the entitlement. Why do people feel entitled to other peoples things?

It isn't selfish to not want to risk an expensive dress getting ruined when it is known they can't afford to replace it.

I would lend it but insist on £500 cash deposit which they would get back once dress returned undamaged.

I have never “bowed down” to anyone, in my life. Ever.
I cannot see how you think telling a relative I or one of my DDs will lend her a dress on the condition that it comes back as we lent it, or, if not, it is replaced is “bowing down”. It is not. If they wouldn’t agree to return it in its original condition or replace it if not, it wouldn’t be loaned.

The nerve of repeatedly asking is crazy. Other flying monkeys! You just know they’ve been slagging you and your dd off behind your backs. Horrible people.

Hold on a minute, did you forget that it's nice to be nice?

I haven't got a glass of wine. Will you buy me one please? I don't want to put you out, just send a bevvy of bluetits over with it. They'll know the way. I fancy a zinfandel. Cheers muchly

Hmmm Ive heard many a story like this, its deliberate and spiteful ,borne of jealousy