To be upset with DD for this?

Absolutely it has no impact on someone else, but telling someone they are wrong to be angry when someone hurts them is a bit ridiculous.

I can focus on it because ppl are ridiculous saying it is wrong to feel things in life. Is there any reason why you think you should tell others what they should and shouldn't do in their life?

You are spending energy focusing on me, someone who has no impact on your life which is really weird given you said that you do not use energy on things you cannot change.....you can t change what I am talk about and yet here you are....??

Make it make sense.

Because I choose to expend my energy on the stuff I can change. You can do what you want. I don't care as it has no impact on me. I just know being angry and upset is exhausting so I burn energy where I choose. In this case the old dress is gone, a new one on its way. The op says she's going through some shit, so my question is, are you focusing on this because it's easy or it really matters?

Agree . Can’t believe so many people don’t see this .

Yes apologies are just words but she’s followed it up with actions. There’s not much else she can do - what would you have mum do, fall out with her?

Nope it might not be the worst thing, she isn;t saying it is the worst thing. But she has a right to be pissed off. Why is it wasting anything to be in touch with your emotions and wellbeing?

You're being unreasonable by making a whole thing of it on Mumsnet when your daughter has ready ordered it, yes.

I know it’s not the point but I’m looking for a new favourite holiday dress, OP - care to share link??

You're absolutely not unreasonable, and sometimes replacement items aren't exactly the same. You'd think they should be, but on trying to replace a pair of trousers, the next pair, although the same size, didn't seem to fit the same and just didn't feel as nice. Bad cutting? Slightly different material?
And sometimes the item isn't available, so it's never ok to just assume you can replace it. Even if you didn't want it, she shouldn't make money from it (if you had a deal where she can sell anything of yours when she likes and have the money, you would have mentioned it presumably).

This isn’t just a random! This is her daughter, this is how family grievances happen and distance occurs between children and parents. It was a dress, she didn’t sell her kidney. Do you think she needs to hold a grudge forever just because she sold her dress? Let things go, grudges help no one

I’m actually gobsmacked that she sold it. She must have looked at it, realised it was yours that you lent her and still went ahead with selling it. Bizarre. I’d be hurt because it implies that she simply didn’t care.

She is a teen is not an excuse. She is eighteen not fourteen.

Well of course. I'm recommending a proportional approach to where you expend your limited energy. I use it on the shit bits I can change. In this instance you have a brand new dress you know you'll love on the way to replace a worn one. Your daughter has shown that she will take accountability and seek a resolution when she screws up. I know where I'd focus.

what the fuck? you think its ok she sold something that didnt belong to her just cos the OP didnt ask for it back straight away?

YABU, very mature of her to admit to it and replace it rather than lying that she cant find it or a friend borrowed and lost it etc

Had to replace my entire wardrobe following weight loss. I was delighted to find the same tall trousers from New Look, labels still attached, in my new size on Vinted. They must be minimum 10 years old. I wear them to death because they complete hide my apron belly!

I would be a bit perplexed and disappointed too. I wouldn't drag it out (I know you're aren't either) but it would play on my mind too.

What is she like generally with other people's things? Some people are just very careless. I've had people ask to borrow something and then never see it again. If I asked for it back I would often get a blank face and a shrug and be told they had no idea where it was - or gave it to someone else or threw it away because they had forgotten it was mine. (My mum is like this with my stuff though she'd go ballistic if I did it to her!)

I'd have been disappointed too, OP.
But at least she's quickly tried to make amends, so not all bad.

Not the point, but I'm curious about this dress now. Share a link? 👗

You do, but what a waste of emotional energy when you could focus on the good stuff in life. I ask myself if this is the worst thing to happen this week, how bad is it? And invest my energy accordingly

Yes she fixed it but you still have a right to be annoyed. Ppl saying you cannot be annoyed because she put it right are ludicrous. Yes you have a right to feel how you feel.

This is the sort of thing that would annoy me but I value my things wheras I know my dh would not particularly be bothered if it happened to him. I have no issue allowing people to borrow my stuff and have 2 girls so am aware they might want to borrow my stuff as they get bigger. It's the carelessness that would bother me and the lack of acknowledgement. So yes she has ordered you a new one but an apology wouldn't have gone amiss.

You're right. If it's any consolation I still took my mum for granted to a degree until I had dd. Then I was like shit, my mum is amazing and I'm a bit of a twat. She'll get there!