AIBU to worry DH is out of touch for future parenting?

I’m with your DH on this. Work it out as they grow up. Things change quickly.

I don’t know who Bonnie Blue is! Im
guessing porn star but I could be way out.

The stuff your DH is into is just as much ‘the wider world’ as the likes of Bonnie Blue. And there isn’t actually a homogeneous youth culture. I know teens who are into religion, blacksmithing, rock climbing, snooker, as well as others who do the more usual stuff. There are many different ways to be young and they don’t all involve drugs or hours on social media.

I agree that kids have to be equipped to navigate the wider world but what that will specifically mean for them is uncertain, which is why raising them with universal values and a good character is most important.

But part of being a parent to a teenager is to some extent letting go and understanding that you can’t know their world not in the way that they navigate it

I think you're being very wise to anticipate the potential challenges that your children may face, given the state of the world and current trends. Good to keep one step ahead! The question seems to be: how to keep your DH on board with this. All I think you can do is to keep highlighting current news items and issues which may impact this generation. Hopefully, he'll start to note the relevance. If not, at least you're aware, and it may be actually beneficial to also have amore naive parent to balance out.

The truth is you simply can’t understand it because you aren’t a teen. You won’t use social media in the way they do and your examples are already outdated because it moves so quickly one minute you can’t say the word massive without hearing low taper fade the next it is something you should never say.

what you can do is instil in them values and critical thinking, give them the confidence and toolset they need to navigate it and fair and reasonable boundaries and expectations

Firstly I'd say don't borrow trouble. The world moves incredibly fast and the challenges of parenting teenagers in 10 years will be different to the challenges now, so I wouldn't be concerned that he's not aware of them.

Secondly, to be honest I think having parents who have solid interests, good friends, are part of their community and grounded in the real world rather than worrying about what's going on online is pretty good for kids. I'm 40, DH is a couple of years older, our kids are 8 and 4. He gives zero fucks about Andrew Tate and Bonnie Blue and county lines because he's too busy going to work, hanging out with our kids, taking them swimming, to the park, to football, on bike rides, seeing his brothers and friends and parents etc etc. I'm sure he'll wise up as and when necessary but on the whole, I feel the Andrew Tates of this world will have way less influence on my kids (my son in particular) because they've got a dad who is too busy being a success and loving his family and living his own life to give a shit about an angry dude with serious small dick energy on the internet.

I honestly don't think it's important. If my parents told me about trends, i'd think it's cringe! Teach them about your world, let them handle theirs.

We have a 10 & 5 year old. My husband doesn’t use social media at all - hates it. Doesn’t listen to modern music, which is has meant my 10 year old loves 90’s indie bands.

our kids educate us on the new trends nee-doh’s and whatever. They watch YouTube shite and know who’s popular! They love angry ginge and KSi even though me and their dad couldn’t be less interested

I totally get what you're saying. They grow up very quickly and it's quite surprising the influences they have when they're still very young. It's not a crime to think ahead!

My DH is often less aware of these issues, he doesn't have social media and was a relatively well behaved teenager. However I was not a particularly well behaved teenager and I'm a bit more aware of what's going on for teenagers nowadays because of my job and being on social media. Though I'm sure I don't know everything! What I'm saying is as long as one of you is clued up, you'll be ok.

I'd never held a baby when No 1 daughter was born, never given a thought to all those things which now seem essential reading, never read a thing and she was 49 a few weeks back so I must have done something right! To be honest, apart from the wrestling his interests sound far better than being obsessed with the minutae of child-rearing! Remember just because 'they' say it's how to do things doesn't mean they're right.

Also don’t forget to bring kids into YOUR world.
My parents in Asia in the 1980s and 1990s introduced me to the Beatles and to rock music and to classical music. And to the protest music of the 60s.
I watched their favourite movies with them when I was old enough.
My parents also didn’t have a clue as to what was happening on MTV or whatever. Didn’t stop them from being excellent hands on parents!

I think this is sensible advice. I also think they don’t need two parents who are worriers, I’m more like you, DH is more like yours but we balance each other out well. He respects my worries, I respect him talking me down.

I have a 6 year old and I spend a lot of time thinking about sport, politics and my family. I don’t see that as a bad thing.

But it is irrelevant because by the time your children are at an age likely to be influenced by social media trends etc the threats will be different and the trends will be different…

Im not sure why he would need to know what threatens current teenagers when he has two young kids not exposed to those issues!

Focus on getting to know dangerous trends when your kids are of an age where they’re likely to come across them, for now just unclench and parent your young primary aged children!

I don’t think so. My kids are 15 and 10. DH barely knows who Taylor Swift is. And has never had social media. He’s an excellent father and is able to discuss misogyny and patriarchy with our sons without being plugged into popular culture. Values are universal. Always important to answer questions honestly. And with my sons I often say this is how I see the world, other people may disagree but here’s my reasoning.
Bring them up to be critical thinkers and kind people. You don’t need to follow trends for that.

I think as long as he has some idea of the society your 6 and 5 year olds live in now there’s no issue.

It's no good now worrying what will be on trend when your 6 yr old is a teen. It will be something that you've not heard of yet. Just deal with what's going on in their lives now