FFS! Relative upset after children could not ride my competition horses

No. Competition horses are only for the very experienced. We had one, and only my daughter rode him.

If they want to ride, best they head off to a local riding school, and pay.

Neither you (nor your parents) are responsible for other people's wilful ignorance.

Miserable experience for you. But it's over and done. You don't need to explain yourself or apologise. Just forget about it and move on.

Sympathies. Some people just are CFers and/or idiots and no amount of reasonableness and kindness will change that. You have to feel sorry for the kids but you were absolutely in the right, can you imagine the fall-out if during their 'little sit-on' one of the little darlings fell and cracked their head open or god forbid worse, and you'd allowed/encouraged that? Not worth the risk in a million years.

It has to be said that these people really are the minority, vast majority are so polite and sweet and fully understand that the horse's owner knows what's best, the trouble is every so often you will just encounter the visible minority, similar to those that no amount of fencing, signs, CCTV etc will convince that it isn't their god given right to feed horses in fields.

Personally I do avoid bringing family/friends to visit the yard in general, and kids particularly as it's so hard to enforce boundaries. I'm lucky/unlucky in that I livery on a busy riding school so it's definitely possible to borrow a hat, and if I pull strings/call in a favour, a suitable pony to give a kid a little pony ride, but the issue is once you've done that once they want it every week, and then to bring friends, and then to do more and more with the pony and where does it end - again sadly the cheeky minority ruin this for the majority and now I just tell people how they can book a normal lesson or ride for their child at the school and try to be unavoidably busy at the time they book if I get even a whiff of CFerry...

What a bunch of entitled CF's. Raising another generation of CF's by the sounds of it.

Have they thought of taking their children to a set up designed to sell parents the opportunity to pop their kids on ponies and take photos and watch them ride... you know, like riding schools and trekking centres? I guess not as that would cost money!

Tell them that they would have had a lot worse of an afternoon if they’d ended up in A&E which would have been the most likely outcome if they’d sat on the horse without a hat.

Because they don't want to spend money! The amount of parents I had trying to get me to take their kids to the yard with mine on a Saturday (because I LOVE to provide free childcare for relative strangers at the weekend at the cost of my time spent with MY children!), whining that riding lessons were sooooo expensive. Not my problem. And I knew how expensive they were because I was paying for my kids to learn to ride properly as well as lessons for myself. Riding ain't cheap.

I think the trouble with people that aren’t horsey is that:

1. they have no concept of how difficult riding is and how dangerous it can be.

2. they don’t understand that there is a whole spectrum of horses from very safe (although still potentially dangerous as it’s a live animal), to very unsafe.

Bollocks to her OP.

Honestly my SIL has horses and ponies. I’ve never expected that Dd when younger could have a ride. Think she was invited to once and that was lovely but as SILs kids got older the ponies got a bit more full on I guess so wouldn’t have been suitable. I’m an ex groom and I ve never asked or expected to have a ride. They’re her horses, not a fairground attraction.

I feel your pain OP.

I’ve had people assume they/their kids can ride my horse, especially as she’s not humungous and everything under 16hh is a kid’s pony, right? . Most people have no idea about the reality of horses, but they’re not prepared to listen, either.

It’s why I have a blanket “no” except for people I genuinely trust not to be CFers.

I bet on the way home they found someone’s fence to climb over, past the please don’t feed the horses sign, and fed someone’s horses those bags of apples and took photos. Sound like exactly those sort of morons who don’t care if a horse colics as long as they get to do whatever they want.

@DoubleClearYay Tell her that if you would have let the children sit on your nonchildfriendly horses without a hat and they would have had an accident Social Services would be the first to ask why the mother insisted after having been told it wasn't safe. She sounds unhinged and really stupid.

I'd be furious that the adult relative behaved this way after you made it perfectly clear what would and would not be possible before they even arrived. I don't know if I'd bother answering back. I'd be tempted to spell it all out (including graphic details about what could have happened to her children if you'd allowed them to take unnecessary risks on your horses), but it would probably be wasted effort. She's too stupid and stubborn to learn or care.

This drives me crazy. I have Highland ponies who are very sweet and gentle but I am not running a free pony trekking centre either! People sue at the drop of a hat, so I don't give permission to anyone to ride my ponies these days. Accidents happen even on gentle, calm ponies, especially with people who can't ride a loose gate on a windy day. I am so glad my kids left school as some of the parents were unbelievably cheeky. One woman turned up at my yard and told (not asked!) a member of staff to tack up my horse and bring it down to her. It was explained that she was a private livery and not available to hire and she said, "Oh, it's fine, I know Krusty." The staff member blurted out, "No, you clearly don't!" without thinking and refused to get my horse. She apologised to me afterwards for being rude to my 'friend' but I I thought what she said was hilarious and was just relieved she didn't feel bullied into handing over my horse to someone who had never had a riding lesson. We weren't even friends, I just knew her from the school gate!

People are so weird about horses. Because they’re beautiful and out in fields a lot (so appear “free”) it’s like they’re for everyone?! My friend owns horses and she has signs everyone saying don’t feed them etc. And then the visitors get arsey calling her precious. But at least one horse has been seriously ill, probably from treats, she has other friends whose animals have died, honestly I don’t know what’s wrong with some people.

She is a total CF and sounds as thick as pig shit. I know nothing about horses but I wouldn’t be that stupid. She sounds like the sort of person who thinks animals are only for entertainment purposes.

Your parents ought to reply, saying they totally support what you did, and telling the relation once again about the possible dangers of accidents involving horses. They should make it clear that they know you told the relation beforehand exactly what would be possible, and if the children were disappointed that’s entirely the parent's fault for not explaining it to them before they visited.

If a child had sat on your horse without a hat and been thrown and badly injured, I wonder who the parent would have blamed! If the children ever learn more about horses they’ll find out you were completely in the right.

Say is it ok if you put the kids in the boot, while you drive when drunk, as that was fine years ago, like giving horses tons of food.
I feel sorry for the teachers and future partners of these kids. Entitled much? And you just know she'd sue you if (when) your horses throw them off.

Cheeky cow ! It’s a competition yard, not a trekking centre - and quite apart from the obvious , I would bet letting them do so would be in breach of your livery contract . I have one on schooling livery at the moment and my contract was very specific on the use of hats , and appropriate footwear . And there’s signs everywhere because the yard insurance insists on it .

I don’t understand -if her children are interested in ponies -why she didn’t take them to an actual riding school ? Where they get to do the whole shebang

My horses are the same and I typically just avoid people coming out if I have even an inkling that they’ll be weird, especially if they have children. Though I did not long ago have one colleague say in a baffled tone “You have eight horses and none of them are calm enough for normal people?” Well er no, because most of them are young twats that I’m training up to sell. 😅

Message

you spoilt your children’s day by not preparing them properly

they don’t love horses or they wouldn’t want to hurt them by feeding them too much

you are completely arrogant thinking you know better than me what is safe with my horses

YANBU

No good deed goes unpunished OP.