My kids keep saying I have a fat tummy

My DS used to say this a lot up until he was about 6. Im a size 8/10. I think they are just hyper aware of baby tummies and dont really know what 'big' means in the context of a normal woman's tummy.

3 csections in the last 2.5 years. I've a shelf that sits firmly despite lots if excercise. I call it my battle scar and I've grown to embrace it because that's what I needed to get my children here. I unfortunately lost my twins in my first one.

Your body is amazing. Kids say all sorts of things. Be kind to yourself. The world is critical enough but trust me. Your kids love you and those comments will have gone out of their thoughts by the time they reached yours. 🥰⁷

unclench

The first thing you do with young children is to TEACH them. They are learning. You don't discipline your child because you are miffed that they have a point.

I agree @Winefride why are you bothered OP, what a 4 and 6 year old think?! 😆

I have never been in a position where a child comment would affect my self esteem. They are small. They say the facts, according to them, which does not mean it's literal fact. It's our job to be adults and ignore things children say. However, if there is truth to their statement according to you and it bothers you, then you can do something about it if you want to...There is no obligation to change nor care about the opinions of others, whatever their ages might be.

don't worry about it OP. my kids call me a big back all the time

You don't have to be harsh but you do need to teach them that you do not have a fat tummy, you have a perfectly normal adult woman's tummy and that they come in a million different shapes and sizes.
And then teach them not to comment on other people's bodies, ever.

My comment was crass, misguided and insensitive. I apologise.

What?

The have you a baby in there might be due to tv they watch or because someone else has and might be nothing to do with you having a belly. But exposure can cause certain questions so tv, adults around them making comments

OP you’d be mad to take comments from such young kids on board and provide reasons to them for why you look the way you look. They say so much nonsense at this age, why do you take this one so seriously? By all means explain it is rude to comment on people’s appearance, just don't take it to heart..!

ps: women always have a bit of a belly if they’re healthy and I don’t know about you but I have a fairly flat one for half my cycle and then an increasingly bloated / 5 month pregnant sort of belly from ovulation onwards. I’m a size 10 too

Children say all kinds of bollocks. My nephew thinks I’m friends with dinosaurs because I live in London and so does a dinosaur? Obviously isn’t true.

Jesus, some folks salivate at the thought of punishing children. It’s shocking.

thede kids are four and 6, it’s a teaching opportunity, this was a moment of curiosity, it is not an opportunity to punish.

Discipline them. It’s rude to make comments on people’s bodies.

My DS told me my tummy sticks right out yesterday - was tempted to drown him in the swimming pool!!

I translated as the poster being very over-weight and trying to convince themselves it's a positive it really is not 😂

You did not just……. Charming.

I'd tell mine a grandma can be 30. And that not all women have kids, so she shouldn't assume every woman over a particular age is either a mum or a grandma.

My 4 year old grandson is obsessed with the word fat at the moment. He called me a fat pair of pants last week. I'm size 6/8 and not an undergarment. And tbf to a small child most adult bodies are going to look fat by comparison. So don't take it to heart.
I'd just be going down the line of it being rude to comment on other people's bodies so they mustn't say those things again.
I think that's all that's necessary at their age. The women's bodies stuff is likely to go over their heads at this point, and too much chat about that can backfire and have them becoming overly conscious or worried about their own. As can showing a strong negative reaction to the idea of being fat. Less is more.

Well it reads like kids don’t want their mothers if they are slim. The most ludicrous thing I’ve ever read.

and a cuddle is a cuddle. It doesn’t need to be from a fat person to feel good as someone lamely tried to indicate.

I think young children are just notorious for calling things as they see them 🤷‍♀️

I mean if your sat on the toilet that’s not the most flattering of angle for anyone, even a size 10. I wouldn’t worry about it.

And what if someone wrote ‘no one wants Jabba the hutt for a mother’? Is that acceptable either?

It's a bit depressing how unquestioningly we make the link that a tummy = bad. It's a body, and the value judgement that we jump to says so much about how this is ingrained in our society.

a soft tummy is only that. Is not good or bad. Detaching the judgement from this should be a really important step. A soft tummy shouldn't be something to be depressed about, it really shouldn't attract a judgement at all.

Hrmm kids and bodies and noticing them is a really tricky one to navigate.

I suppose it slightly depends on their tone and intention. Fat is obviously a very emotionally loaded word for adults but it only becomes that way for kids if they’ve been taught that fat = negative and hurtful. It’s probably just factual for them, and they are probably comparing you to their flat child tummies. My 5 year old gently slapped my thigh the other day and said, when I do that your whole top leg wobbles, mine doesn’t do that. I just told him he was right and that ladies bodies change when they are grown up, and reminded him he shouldn’t touch other people like that. What else to do really.

Recently saw a woman walking down our road, probably the youngest she could have been was 75, she had silver hair and was walking with a stick. My 3 year old pointed at her and said - “Look a grandma!” The woman gave me an absolutely filthy look and muttered “RUDE CHILD” under her breath.

How the bloody hell do I explain that one? I didn’t think what my kid said was particularly rude, just a factual description of what she saw. But maybe it did hurt the woman’s feelings - who knows.