15 year old keeps getting parcels and I'm starting to wonder where the money’s coming from

There's no way a 15yo of mine would be shrugging that off. She's 15yo, it's your actual job to know where her money comes from and how she spends it. And what she's doing on-line .

I don't think drugs are being delivered to your house by mail, but I do think it's possible she's being exploited in one way or another.

Either way you need to know.

I agree with the others. It could be buying cheap items on Temu/Shein/Vinted. However it could also be grooming etc. They often start with small gifts and build upwards.
You have to be the parent here. She needs to show (not just tell) you how these items are being funded. Might be worth checking her social media apps etc and see who is following her etc. I would actually ask to see her phone before questioning her about her spending so she has not time to delete messages etc.

I understand concerns about her privacy, but if she is hiding things then as her parent you NEED to know what is going on.

Just my opinion, but if I was in your shoes I would take the view that sometimes parents have to be the bad guys and I would far rather have a pissed off daughter who feels I have invaded her privacy, than have a daugher who is selling nudes on OnlyFans or buying ketamine online. Or doing both.

So I would ask her upfront to begin with. If her answers don't add up (and buying things when someone has no source of income does not add up) then I would demand to see what she has purchased and to see her phone.

At the end of the day, at 15, she is still a child and she needs protecting. Even if she doesn't think so herself.

I wondered this too. But at her age you do need to find out, OP.

Sorry, OP but I don't know why you're dancing around it with her. She's not an adult. She's 15.
If my 16yo was suddenly spending money and avoiding answering what it was on or where it was coming on, I'd put my foot down and tell him to give me the full details or he'd be facing consequences like having phone or laptop confiscated.
Privacy, absolutely but up to a point. They are still under age and minors.

This, but I think I would be open and vulnerable with her, coming from an angle of ‘please put my mind at rest, there are so many scams out there, my mind has gone into overdrive’.

I need you to show me what you are spending and where your money is coming from.

Ye £10 a week and the TikTok shop. Sounds perfectly reasonable tbh

It shouldn't be a big deal, you asking her and her giving you answers.
Has she always been secretive?

I think teenagers these days understand that parents are worried about all sorts of people taking advantage so even if she's annoyed about having her privacy stepped on she should understand why.

Some people are just really good at saving up money. Things are cheap. It could easily be buying stuff out of pocket money or birthday money if she gets that?

However you do need to know if you've noticed as there are a plethora of worrying ways can kids get money as well. I think you're right to do it sensitively because teenagers do like to feel trusted but you need to be firm. Show an interest in the parcels and find out what they are in an interested way first and be direct in asking her 'how do you afford all this?'. You don't have to be horrid but you do have to be insistent. My kids know I am very nosey though.

£40 a month would go a long way on random bits alone.

This ⬆️ absolutely

I would definitely be looking more into this and finding out where she’s getting the money and where she’s buying things from, whether it’s her buying them herself or if it’s someone getting them for her. It’s a very valid thing to be concerned about.

She’s 15 and does deserve a level of privacy of course, but not when it comes to something like this. The explanation could be entirely innocent, but as her parent you have a right to know so you can safeguard her if necessary. Privacy be damned in this instance.

Definitely

I would be looking at her bank statements.

It’s probably TEMU/Shein.

Phone cases can be as little as 30p

This.

And 'selling things' almost certainly clothes on depop and vinted.

Sounds good! Better than "we pick our battles"! 😄

Yikes - you’re such an understanding mum!!
I would have asked/insisted and would expect a detailed answer but then I was a bit of a Atilla the Hen back in the day 🤣

She could have been saving for a few weeks previously, and now be spending her money on little Shein bits, which don’t cost much.

TBH though, even if she was making some extra cash through vinted I feel like you should have a bit of involvement in that, seeing as you are buying the clothes originally. I’ve heard of kids selling loads of their stuff, only to then turn around and need next to a whole wardrobe of outfits replaced by their parents.

Yeah Aliexpess and Tiktokshop have no minimum spend and you can get a ton of things for £40.

Tiktok Shop sends out free samples to people interested in promoting them. Maybe less likely but if she has a secret account somewhere she could be using that to get random things.

The kids all sell and buy stuff on depop. They buy things cheaply at charity shops and sell on, on the depop website. My granddaughter has been doing it for several years and earned enough to pay for a foreign holiday.

Yes, you cannot have a laissez-faire attitude. It's obvious that you're worried, so get checking!

She's 15, not 18, and if she did anything criminal they would look to you for explanation (see more serious cases such as the boy in Southport getting knives delivered). I would want to see what she is buying (at least some examples) and how she is buying it.

@EarlyMorningTea0 I can't believe that you think respecting her privacy is more important than keeping her safe! Go through her phone and then tell her what you have done and why. She will get angry but she will understand why, if not now then when she gets older. I think you are afraid of conflicts and you're hiding behind "respecting privacy" in order not to have one. She's 15 and the red flags are there so security comes before privacy if you're a good parent.

She's only 15 so you must be able to access her bank account - and if not, insist she shows it to you.