15 year old keeps getting parcels and I'm starting to wonder where the money’s coming from

They can't just sign up and sell stuff. They have to verify they are 18 to a) sign up and b) have a way to receive funds. Their parents have either set up the account for them, or they are using a parent's account. They won't just be grabbing random stuff and selling it (and if they are, more fool the parents for giving them free access).

It seems there are loads of girls selling stuff on vinted, that they likely didn't buy in the first place ie clothes bought by parents. Certainly it seems many of my pupils buy and sell things, often for much better money than I manage to do!

She’s fifteen. You are presumably paying for the phone or laptop she’s using, for the WiFi or data, and you have a responsibility to keep her safe. It’s probably innocent, but maybe it’s not. You need to check. She might be irritated but better that than groomed by an online predator.

You replied to someone that had suggested that she would get it delivered to an Inpost locker by saying "again you need to be 18 to set up a PO box".
That reply indicates that you thought an Inpost locker was a PO box.

F

That sounds good @EarlyMorningTea0 they are very vulnerable to exploitation at that age, they think they have it all sussed but they are just bigger children.

I do think setting a tone for more open chats is very useful. I have 2 daughters older than yours and a son a little younger and it really pays off to have them quite open with you. I don’t love that you are hearing from them when they are planning to have sex or getting wasted with their mates but it is a trade off.

My daughter is also 15 and gets 40 euros pocket money a month. She buys stuff on Shein like phone cases, bits of cheap jewellery etc and it often costs like pennies. I think she often orders on a day when it´s free delivery too so not even paying that.

I am a yes parent. I am laid back. But this is not ok. First of all, my teens have to ask before buying online. This is to avoid scams more than anything else. She doesn’t know she’s buying safely or from a reputable site.
Second of all we are entitled to privacy in our home but not secrets. This is not being honest and open about purchases and this wouldn’t fly in my house.

Ok, so you understand then that at 15 she can send things to an inpost locker? I wonder then why you responded to someone saying she would send it to an inpost locker by saying she must be 18 to open a PO Box…🤷🏽‍♀️

Yes, but if you didn't want your parents to know you had dodgy money coming in, you'd send the evidence of that somewhere else. Surely?

My son (16) has had online banking since he was 11 I’m sure too!
it’s just signed in on our family iPad, so I can access and see what he’s up to and transfer stuff in and out for him. He has it on his phone too.
i am not sure why people think you can only have a bank account from 18 🤔

Even if it is only Vinted, she shouldn't even have a Vinted account until she's 18. You have to verify your age and have a way to manage payments. So how's she doing that? Pretty sure depop is the same for selling.

'I don’t know what parental controls people are expecting a 15 year old to have if I’m honest. She’s not got free rein over everything but she’s not 10 either.'

For a start, knowing whether she is making money on a website that you have to be 18 to sign up for. No she's not 10, but she's also not 18. Knowing where and how your child is accessing money is a pretty key part of parenting.

You are talking about her as if she's an adult - she's not. Get involved and find out what's going on. It doesn't matter if it makes you unpopular or if she argues back. Sometimes as a parent that is the consequence of keeping your child safe.

It could be grooming - it's got red lights flashing all over it, even if it's not designer items - and you need to do what you have to do to rule that out.

If she's as grown up as she/ you think she is then she should be able to understand that there's a safety element to this and that it's your responsibility to ensure she is safe.

InPost lockers aren't PO boxes

I didn't say it was !

Traditional bank accounts probably, although Nationwide do accounts for under 11s, but I was thinking more of accounts like Monzo, Go Henry and the like which act the same - as in you can put money in them and use a debit card to spend. This is what mine have.

Inpost isn’t a PO Box.

I opened my bank account at school at age 13.
my sons account was opened as a 11 year old and it just progressed forward each time. He’s now 16 and has had the same account the whole time, with a debit card.

This. If she's ordering things, even cheap stuff, it'll show in her account - as Will any strange deposits or transfers in.

Why are you even asking?

Your 15 year old child has access to funds - and you don't know where they are coming from.

Of course you insist!

I think if you just explain to her why you might have concerns, that may come across a lot better than simply asking her outright where she’s getting the money from.

It’s clear you know what she’s ordering so that’s not the worry, but give some realistic scenarios of why you would like some reassurance of where the money is coming from might show her you do trust her and you’re treating her more like an adult than a child, and that this is just safeguarding thing to make sure she’s not in a situation that does warrant worry. Hopefully she will give you a clear answer. If she does get defensive, give examples of why you think she can’t afford some of the higher cost items on £10 a week, even if she has saved for them.

It may well be she is a savvy saver and that should be rewarded if she is but getting her to understand this isn’t you being nosey or dictating what she cannot or cannot buy with her money and is just a check in to make sure there is nothing untoward happening may well stand you in better stead for a a clearer response than a direct hit - teens are very defensive creatures!

I’d want to know what’s in them and how she’s paying for them. If she only has a kid’s bank account that you opened for her years ago presumably she doesn’t have online banking?

You're thinking of a current account. Plenty of bank accounts aren't current accounts. You can have, eg, a savings account at any age.

You can have a bank account at any age, if your parent sets it up for you. The statements don't have to be addressed to the parent or anything like that.

Even as a kid in the 80s, I had a bank account at 10 and an ATM card at 14.

I have a 15 year old DD too so I understand about giving privacy and independence but in this situation I would be making my DD open a package in front of me and explaining exactly how she paid for whatever it is.
You need to make sure nothing dodgy is going on.
My DD sells old clothes etc on vinted and uses that money to buy stuff so could be an innocent explanation

According to what I've read 11 is the minimum age for a Bank Account.