To think this is the most awful thing to say to a parent

Have I misunderstood or have the majority of posters missed the point here? This isn’t about the trials of dementia or whether euthanasia should be legal. This is about a daughter effectively telling her mother, that if she (the mother) gets dementia, she has a responsibility to kill herself so that the daughter doesn’t have to deal with it. If the majority think that’s ok, I despair at humanity.

Not only that I know somebody who survived it broken pelvis broken legs he was the right mess

Also, it's not necessarily a good way to go. Someone I knew jumped off a high bridge and landed in water. The fall alone could have killed her (and would have seriously injured her), but she drowned. The thought of drowning whilst too badly injured to swim is not a pleasant one.

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You’d know because you got a diagnosis. My mum never had one but it was clear as day and it was her cause of death on her death certificate. If I suspected I had it I’d be asking for a referral to the memory clinic immediately so I could sort my affairs out before it completely overtook me.

Make sure you get your cruise in first. I like your thinking.🤣. Sorry but on such a horrible matter a morbid sense of humour is needed

Many get told they have early on-set dementia before it gets to it's worst.

My dad watched dementia take my nanny, his beloved mum slowly and cruelly over 7 years. When she died he said to me "if ever I get like nanny i'll kill myself off" and he was deadly serious. If ever I get like that, i've told my boys and husband i'll be off to Swizterland. My dads uncle found out he was in the early stages of it & took his own life on his farm. His wife was too frail to have cared for him.

No, it's not the most awful thing. I've had much worse.

I wonder how exactly one would know that though
I trust my eldest explicitly that if she says it’s time for me to pop off, I shall pop off
But I don’t know how a person could possibly make that decision really themselves you’re not gonna be coherent to listen to the diagnosis I would imagine

Please don't do this! Traumatic suicide is a dreadful thing for family to deal with. Also if is a road bridge think about the drivers on the road. Hopefully you won't need to consider this though

Well not really

If I'm in a care home then I will refuse any treatment. If they try and override that claiming lack of capacity then the AD kicks in. If I genuinely do not have capacity then the AD will be applicable.

Not sure how you would plan a trip to Switzerland when you have dementia 🤔🤔

And what if people change their mind as it is so often the case?

How will you know if the person is starting with dementia? How will you handle the fact theyre likely not able to deal with pressure from family members the same way they used (oressure either way btw)

I'm a bit shocked by PP saying the sister wasn't unreasonable, and for context my DM died of dementia having tried to kill herself twice during the earlier period of her diagnosis. The second time she stopped eating for weeks in an attempt to starve herself to death, and I supported her right to do that, including multiple meetings with staff at the home in which she was living by then.

I absolutely believe that someone faced with a diagnosis like this should have the right to choose to end their life in a dignified way - not by having to try to starve like DM did.

However, to say that anyone has a responsibility or duty to kill themselves so as not to be a burden on others is horrific - indeed I would say evil.

That is really not a good idea. The person assisting is likely to end up in prison. If your friend decides to proceed by her own hand make sure you do not have the details of time, place, method in any communication and, if you know them by verbal means only, do not admit this. Same goes the other way round for your friend. This is a really messy area.

My dad died at Christmas after being diagnosed with dementia 8 years ago, but in hindsight he'd had it for a good 10 years prior to that. Having spent all those years gradually losing every part of him slowly, the anticipatory grief followed by losing him completely is something else. Even six months later, my brain won't let me grieve for his actual death. I feel in limbo. If I'm diagnosed with dementia then I'll be making sure my loved ones don't experience this. It's a hard thing to hear, but I completely understand what she means.

There is a blood test now that once one family member with Alzheimers has been diagnosed, the rest of the family can be tested as it can be hereditary.

I agree with her comment. If I was diagnosed, I would not be looking for any family members to look after me and, would be on the first plane out to whatever country can assist legally. Am also researching despite no diagnosis.

I'm with you op . Yeah that's insensitive and awful . And my dad does have Alzheimer's so I understand the level of care and frustration.

I will be in the flight with you. No way would I want to put my kids through that. But to answer OPs question there is a time and a place and she should have kept her mouth shut.

100%. The answer is to allow people to specify when they reach a certain state they wish to end their life, even if they don’t have capability at that point.

my dad died of dementia. He would have absolutely hated how he ended. I have promised myself I won’t put myself or my kids through that

My DH has dementia and I am his carer. I hope that if I ever get a diagnosis, I will still be able to end my life before it deteriorates further. Dignitas is well named, there is no dignity in dying of this terrible condition. Unfortunately, I won't be able to afford that trip to Switzerland, so those stopped the assisted dying bill becoming law did me a huge disservice.

NRTFT but those saying they'd off themselves if they got dementia.. how the hell would you KNOW you had dementia?
Plus the tablets under the mattress.. those are found quite regularly - the people who put them there either can no longer get to them or have forgotten..

My mum had dementia for years, so I do know what I'm talking about.

I promised my lovely wife I would assist with her death if she ever developed Alzheimer's ( she had worked for many years with the elderly demented.) She was taken mercifully swiftly with a brain tumour, as it happens. But I 100% would have kept my word to her.

They weren’t even slightly concerned about people who want control over the end of their own lives. As far as I’m concerned they’ve confirmed that the Lords should be replaced with a democratically elected second house. It’s appalling that they can block something our elected representatives have approved.