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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think I might have a nervous breakdown in the jungle

169 replies

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 10:01

My partner, my kids and I are going away on a bit of an exotic holiday and will be staying, amongst other things, for one week in a small private retreat which is on a jungle island and built quite literally in the middle of the jungle.

It's en eco resort where they don't believe in harsh chemicals (which I agree with) and try to coexist with nature. I came across it because I'm a writer and someone invited me to a writing retreat there, I couldn't go but checked out the place and fell in love with it based on the stunning photos and videos available on the net. It's got amazing Tripadvisor reviews and so I booked the whole thing, not giving much thought to where it's located (I just thought of it as, 'lush vegetation', not 'middle of the tropical rainforest').

Now, it's almost coming up to the trip, I'm starting to seriously panic. It's for the first time sinking in that we are going to be IN the jungle, and while there are some very cool things - monkeys, hornbills, geckos - there are also snakes, spiders, mosquitoes galore, and our accommodation - being based on authentic Malaysian architecture - is kind of like a giant tree house. It's really pretty and artistic, set in 7 acres of jungle with two stunning saltwater swimming pools, but on the website itself - which I have only for the first time read properly this week! - it clearly says if you're scared of the jungle, don't like insects etc, then this is not the place for you.

I've travelled a lot when younger and have hiked through what's called the outer jungle in Peru, but only for one day (didn't spend the night) and wasn't really scared at all, but I worry I'm going to feel completely trapped somewhere where I might just lose my mind if I see a massive spider in my shower or whatever. The retreat is meant to have a 5* service and incredible food made by, essentially, a private chef who cooks for each family individually (there are only 8 rooms) so there's much to look forward to, but I just keep thinking, Jesus we will really be right IN it. Not next to it, not close to it, but INSIDE it. Most of the accommodation is kind of open to the jungle (in the bedrooms, you can close the wooden shutters and turn on the air con, but otherwise the living quarters are very immersed in the rainforest)

I haven't shared my concerns with my kids as I have to model adventure spirit....I wonder if my 15 year old daughter will join me in the nervous breakdown. My partner says we'll be fine, famous last words. The resort has been there since 1996 so they absolutely know what they're doing and in fact it's owned by two Brits who were born in Malaysia and who have been wonderful to deal with (the woman is an artist and this is their former home). And yet, and yet, who's going to save me when I trip over a gigantic tarantula lol.

Any thoughts - anyone on MN, who's a real city person in normal life, gone somewhere like this on holiday and survived the trauma of various exotic fauna :-) ?

OP posts:
DandelionsMakeMeSmile · 09/07/2026 13:39

I did similar many years ago and I don’t like critters particularly. When it got dark-which is when the little fuckers come out- I went to bed early with a book and a glass of wine where they couldn’t get me.

It was the bats that bothered me the most, they flew too close. Spiders and snakes really don’t want to be around you so they’ll keep their distance. I enjoyed it overall but probably wouldn’t do it again.

ETA my trip was in Thailand

godmum56 · 09/07/2026 13:38

I am thinking that this is going to be a classy and expensive holiday even though eco friendly? This will mean that the owners will NOT want reviews saying eg "the bathrooms were full of spiders and we got bitten to ribbons by mosquitos" so however they do it, they will make sure the guests are comfortable. The holiday destination where the customers will pay megabucks to be hugely uncomfortable is a MASSIVELY niche market!

Sesquioxides · 09/07/2026 13:38

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 10:46

It's called Tiger Rock on Pangkor island

Can you let us know how it goes? We work close to Malaysia and are looking for somewhere nice but short-haul for Christmas. My main worry will be lack of air con as last time we were in Malaysia it just never stopped being hot.

Campervanadventures · 09/07/2026 13:35

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 10:01

My partner, my kids and I are going away on a bit of an exotic holiday and will be staying, amongst other things, for one week in a small private retreat which is on a jungle island and built quite literally in the middle of the jungle.

It's en eco resort where they don't believe in harsh chemicals (which I agree with) and try to coexist with nature. I came across it because I'm a writer and someone invited me to a writing retreat there, I couldn't go but checked out the place and fell in love with it based on the stunning photos and videos available on the net. It's got amazing Tripadvisor reviews and so I booked the whole thing, not giving much thought to where it's located (I just thought of it as, 'lush vegetation', not 'middle of the tropical rainforest').

Now, it's almost coming up to the trip, I'm starting to seriously panic. It's for the first time sinking in that we are going to be IN the jungle, and while there are some very cool things - monkeys, hornbills, geckos - there are also snakes, spiders, mosquitoes galore, and our accommodation - being based on authentic Malaysian architecture - is kind of like a giant tree house. It's really pretty and artistic, set in 7 acres of jungle with two stunning saltwater swimming pools, but on the website itself - which I have only for the first time read properly this week! - it clearly says if you're scared of the jungle, don't like insects etc, then this is not the place for you.

I've travelled a lot when younger and have hiked through what's called the outer jungle in Peru, but only for one day (didn't spend the night) and wasn't really scared at all, but I worry I'm going to feel completely trapped somewhere where I might just lose my mind if I see a massive spider in my shower or whatever. The retreat is meant to have a 5* service and incredible food made by, essentially, a private chef who cooks for each family individually (there are only 8 rooms) so there's much to look forward to, but I just keep thinking, Jesus we will really be right IN it. Not next to it, not close to it, but INSIDE it. Most of the accommodation is kind of open to the jungle (in the bedrooms, you can close the wooden shutters and turn on the air con, but otherwise the living quarters are very immersed in the rainforest)

I haven't shared my concerns with my kids as I have to model adventure spirit....I wonder if my 15 year old daughter will join me in the nervous breakdown. My partner says we'll be fine, famous last words. The resort has been there since 1996 so they absolutely know what they're doing and in fact it's owned by two Brits who were born in Malaysia and who have been wonderful to deal with (the woman is an artist and this is their former home). And yet, and yet, who's going to save me when I trip over a gigantic tarantula lol.

Any thoughts - anyone on MN, who's a real city person in normal life, gone somewhere like this on holiday and survived the trauma of various exotic fauna :-) ?

Yes we went on a similar thing (just us two though) in far northern Queensland, Australia. Our neighbours were Ronald Dhal and his wife who had been to Bloomfield many times. The staff held a meeting and took guests on a walk to inform us of any potential hazards, plants etc to avoid. This included the 3 foot dragon lizard that liked to bask by the swimming pool and the huge Golden Orb spider that lived in the outside loo by the bar. It was the best holiday we ever had. You will be fine.

HotGrapefruit · 09/07/2026 13:35

On the plus side, you can buy valium over the counter. I would do that first and then knock one back with a vodka at the sight of anything scuttling.

godmum56 · 09/07/2026 13:33

heedlesschicken · 09/07/2026 12:12

Just to note that ordered some SSS from avon specifically because it was recommended and I found it did fuck all and my dh was quietly furious because I had assured him he didn't need to wear deet because I'd got my special stuff from avon, he put it on and got absolutely bitten to shit by sandflies which are often more of an issue in malaysia than mosquitos. So I wouldn't rely on it in a jungle environment and it doesn't claim to be an insect repellent.

I doesn't work on me either. I mean REALLY doesn't work

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 09/07/2026 13:32

People saying nothing in the Malaysian jungle can kill you are wrong. I’ve lived in Malaysia for 11 years and there are king cobras, pit viper snakes and crocodiles. Much rarer but Malaysian tigers. Hardly any left but there are a few!
You will be fine though.

Whydoweedsgrowsofast · 09/07/2026 13:31

I visited an eco lodge in Vietnam. Even in monsoon conditions it was magical. (Monsoons went unusually late that year)

itsme189 · 09/07/2026 13:27

People are going to give you shit because you are going on an expensive holiday but that’s just jealousy. It sounds amazing and I think you’ll have a blast a few bugs here and there you’ll be fine and if you get anything that does scare I’m sure the staff are so used to it and will help! If anything you might come home fearless lol

Tabarnak · 09/07/2026 13:27

You'll have a wonderful time, OP, and in a lodge with AC the windows must close properly so nothing will get in the bedrooms. It sounds very well staffed - they will be experienced in keeping creatures out of the living spaces.

Relax and look forward to it.

BillieWiper · 09/07/2026 13:26

That sounds amazing. You say it's got air con? In an actual tree house?

What could there be to worry about? There must be a way of getting out of there if anything goes horribly wrong.

I've stayed in shacks on islands without even a fan and slept outdoors before when travelling. It was fun then and if there was more luxury involved it'll be even more fun now! Enjoy it! Xx

musicandmen · 09/07/2026 13:23

We went on safari in Kenya, we stayed in the treetops for some of the nights. It’s 5* but it’s built around the waterhole. I was hit in the face by a bat!

it was actually worse when we moved on to the luxury all inclusive resort after the safari and the bloody monkeys they open your doors and trash the rooms and the guard had to chase a hippo off path leading back from the restaurant to our room!

the insects become the least of my worries 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 09/07/2026 13:18

toiletpaperthief · 09/07/2026 13:17

I went to a similar place in Brasil (posh retreat in the jungle), the experience was amazing and the place was unbelivable, yes I found a HUGE spider the size of my hand in the shower that had me screaming in horror, running for safety while jumping up and down for one hour. Would I do it again? Absolutely!

😂bless you that made me giggle x

toiletpaperthief · 09/07/2026 13:17

I went to a similar place in Brasil (posh retreat in the jungle), the experience was amazing and the place was unbelivable, yes I found a HUGE spider the size of my hand in the shower that had me screaming in horror, running for safety while jumping up and down for one hour. Would I do it again? Absolutely!

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 13:12

twilightermummy · 09/07/2026 13:02

I've been to Malaysia twice and spent a few days on Pangkor island only last summer. We talk all the time about the wildlife we saw there specifically, and we just stayed in a run of the mill hotel! It was actually amazing. We were the only people on a white sand beach and a giant monitor lizard walked out of a swamp like puddle. Monkey's stole our food and the hornbills were other-worldly. We loved it. I've been pretty much all over Malaysia. Seen snakes but never a spider.
I'm sure you'll have the best time! We even discussed the other day potentially dropping our European holiday and returning.

This is Pangkor island, yes - your experience sounds great!

OP posts:
MyArtfulGreySloth · 09/07/2026 13:10

I understand why you’re panicking now, but honestly I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time.

Sundriessundries · 09/07/2026 13:04

YANBU to get some last minute jitters before an adventurous trip - that’s natural.
YAB slightly U to have not really researched the trip and for all this to be dawning on you now!
Hope you can relax and have fun.

AmethystDeceiver · 09/07/2026 13:04

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 13:00

Thank you. I didn't think of it that way and you're right I should approach it with more gratitude. It's not an inconsequential expense for us at all, I just really wanted to do something memorable with my children who are growing up too fast. But I totally take your point.

It will be memorable, your kids will remember this forever and be grateful that you gave them this experience. That's going to last longer than a bug bite

twilightermummy · 09/07/2026 13:02

I've been to Malaysia twice and spent a few days on Pangkor island only last summer. We talk all the time about the wildlife we saw there specifically, and we just stayed in a run of the mill hotel! It was actually amazing. We were the only people on a white sand beach and a giant monitor lizard walked out of a swamp like puddle. Monkey's stole our food and the hornbills were other-worldly. We loved it. I've been pretty much all over Malaysia. Seen snakes but never a spider.
I'm sure you'll have the best time! We even discussed the other day potentially dropping our European holiday and returning.

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 13:00

AmethystDeceiver · 09/07/2026 12:50

This is a bit of a 'tight diamond shoes' problem isn't it?

The amazing once in a life time adventure that you were able to pay for without much thought (because presumably had it been a huge, shattering amount for you, you would have thought it through first) is stressing you out because it's going to be... Exactly what it says on the tin.

You'll be fine. Practice gratitude, it will help you put things into perspective

Thank you. I didn't think of it that way and you're right I should approach it with more gratitude. It's not an inconsequential expense for us at all, I just really wanted to do something memorable with my children who are growing up too fast. But I totally take your point.

OP posts:
Writer034 · 09/07/2026 12:59

countbinjuice · 09/07/2026 12:49

Looks terrifying OP. I wouldn’t risk it, you’ll definitely all die. Just send the tickets to me and I’ll dispose of them safely for you.

Love this response. I know my post may look silly, but I'm really scared of bugs, and have literally started to wake up in the night thinking, omg what have I done 😂

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 09/07/2026 12:56

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 12:10

Uh, thank you for that recommendation, I'll add it to our list of potions!

Absolutely do not rely on this.

It smells nice and it's fine to use it as well as a DEET insect repellent, but don't assume you can use it instead of a proper mosquito repellent. I've been very badly bitten while wearing Skin So Soft.

Writer034 · 09/07/2026 12:54

romdowa · 09/07/2026 12:46

Ive a massive fear of insects and spiders and i lived in the Australian outback for 4 months and you kind of just cope. In all that time i only seen two snakes and two massive spiders. The rest was just smaller non deadly bugs which got squashed on sight 😅

Goodness, that's quite a feat! When I went to Oz and one time in Morocco, in the Atlas mountains, the biggest pest were flies - like hundreds of them, I remember taking a nap covering my face with a sarong!

OP posts:
LadyJ129 · 09/07/2026 12:51

I stayed in several places like this in Malaysia years ago in my 20s, I travelled around on my own. There’ll be moths and mosquitoes, just tuck the mosquito net in around the mattress, you’ll be fine. There were always little lizards pottering around, I loved to watch them. Don’t recall any massive spiders in the month I was in the jungle. The only thing I didn’t really like was the leeches. Make sure you cover up whilst walking in the jungle, especially your feet and legs but I got one on my shoulder too somehow.

AmethystDeceiver · 09/07/2026 12:50

This is a bit of a 'tight diamond shoes' problem isn't it?

The amazing once in a life time adventure that you were able to pay for without much thought (because presumably had it been a huge, shattering amount for you, you would have thought it through first) is stressing you out because it's going to be... Exactly what it says on the tin.

You'll be fine. Practice gratitude, it will help you put things into perspective

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