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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take your first week as holiday

61 replies

JTBB33 · 09/07/2026 08:24

to accept a job offer and then have a holiday in your first week. It was an internal job offer with a significant pay rise. I’ve made lots of plans for their first week, only to just be told their current manager has approved that first week off?
now I have to rearrange all the meetings and plans.
am I being unreasonable to be miffed about this?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
NotAnotherChickenNugget · 10/07/2026 12:59

Niftywigglesheep89 · 09/07/2026 09:19

I’d probably just have a long look at myself in the mirror and think stop being a bitch, there’s more to life than this- you can rearrange the meetings- don’t make the new employee feel uncomfortable- what a shitty thing to do. Grow up . It’s a job not the world

Wow I bet you’re a delight to work with! People have a right to feel a bit put out if they’ve spent time arranging stuff for someone else’s benefit, and then find that person has changed plans without a discussion.

PissedOff2020 · 10/07/2026 10:58

Qb2654 · 09/07/2026 16:20

Read the updates.

Start dates agreed and discussed. Holoday requested and approved after.

Not difficult.

It’s not difficult to put all the information in the actual post and not expect people to go through loads and loads of updates either. Somebody’s asking us to make a judgement on the post, that’s what I did - it there’s extra information relevant it should’ve all been put there.

VoiceOfCommonSense · 09/07/2026 22:39

JTBB33 · 09/07/2026 08:24

to accept a job offer and then have a holiday in your first week. It was an internal job offer with a significant pay rise. I’ve made lots of plans for their first week, only to just be told their current manager has approved that first week off?
now I have to rearrange all the meetings and plans.
am I being unreasonable to be miffed about this?

FFS love it’s just a week. Feel sorry for her with you as a boss..

senua · 09/07/2026 22:02

Pherian · 09/07/2026 21:51

You need to be miffed with the manager. Not the employee.

Both of them!
The transferee for seeking permission from the wrong person and the manager for meddling in somebody else's department.

Pherian · 09/07/2026 21:51

You need to be miffed with the manager. Not the employee.

Cakeandcardio · 09/07/2026 18:43

It's just a job. People are entitled to holidays. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

Sereine · 09/07/2026 16:38

I think that's a really odd thing to do. At the very least this person should have contacted you and said something to the effect of "I know I told you I had no holiday booked, but my friend has now asked me to go away that week/it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to take the break before starting the new job so I'd be coming to it really fresh/I've discovered a fantastic holiday offer for that week/etc - so would it be too inconvenient if I take that week off?" - and make it clear that if it is a pain then they won't go.

Aethelred · 09/07/2026 16:34

Poppy61 · 09/07/2026 09:01

Defintely should have checked annual leave with applicant. Standard practise in an interview. It's your oversight. Unless I have read this incorrectly, YABU.

The leave was booked after the interview and after the start date was agreed.

emmas123 · 09/07/2026 16:27

How far out is their start date? If it's a 2+weeks to a month out, then yes YABU. Stuff happens as a line manager and having to reschedule may take a bit of time that could have been spent elsewhere, but honestly its all part and parcel of people management.
Ive brought in quite a lot of people into my teams over the years and would much rather they're away before they start versus have someone take PTO 2 weeks into onboarding (which I had a few years back, and I found it delayed their whole training schedule).

If they so happened to fall ill on their start date (which is a rare, but nonetheless real possibility), you would have had to do the same rescheduling, but with zero notice.

As its an internal move, I can understand a bit of frustration as this seems like it could have been avoided, but thats due to communication from all parties.

Qb2654 · 09/07/2026 16:20

PissedOff2020 · 09/07/2026 15:48

You’re the one in the wrong here, if you were concerned about when they had holidays you should’ve asked. Most places will ask and if going for an external interview, I would normally tell somebody I had a holiday booked, but internally I might be more inclined to assume they already knew.

Was the start date well known in advance? Did they know they were expected to start the new role on this date? Or was this just decided after the job offer got made? It’s the six week holidays and it’s August. Most people will be wanting time off over the summer.

Read the updates.

Start dates agreed and discussed. Holoday requested and approved after.

Not difficult.

Darragon · 09/07/2026 15:50

I think people are confused by the voting as the thread title is the opposite of the AIBU question in the thread. I think YANBU but maybe they thought you could do without them for another week.

PissedOff2020 · 09/07/2026 15:48

You’re the one in the wrong here, if you were concerned about when they had holidays you should’ve asked. Most places will ask and if going for an external interview, I would normally tell somebody I had a holiday booked, but internally I might be more inclined to assume they already knew.

Was the start date well known in advance? Did they know they were expected to start the new role on this date? Or was this just decided after the job offer got made? It’s the six week holidays and it’s August. Most people will be wanting time off over the summer.

VividDeer · 09/07/2026 15:33

They probably thought it was good to take leave before starting rather than during induction phase. Shame it wasn't mentioned to you, but like you say the inconvenience was minor to you.

Stompythedinosaur · 09/07/2026 15:29

I think it's normal to honour annual leave that's already booked in tbh.

shellster80 · 09/07/2026 14:31

Whinge · 09/07/2026 09:07

I'm shocked that the majority are saying that YABU.

Most of those saying YABU, are assuming this holiday was booked in advance.

The OP didn't make it clear that the leave had been booked and approved after the new job had been offered and the start date had been agreed.

I don’t know why people read it any other way? It was clear to me that it had been approved post agreed start date due to the fact op had already arranged first weeks training etc

no YANBU op, I think that’s really poor tbh and I’d be super unimpressed if I was you, both by the previous manager and the employee!
If new employees had come to you and explained something had come up, could they possibly take AL and push start date back a week then fair enough, but the way this has been done would really pee me off!

JTBB33 · 09/07/2026 14:05

Reallyneedsaholiday · 09/07/2026 13:40

YANBU except for the drip feed.

Sorry, not particularly hot on MN etiquette. I had presumed that it would be an assumption from the original post that the holiday came after the agreement. Obvs would never be annoyed about someone having leave! Anyway, I moved everything around in less that an hour, so it’s no biggy!

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 09/07/2026 13:43

Ridiculous - the start date should have been pushed back. I've just had to rearrange 2 days of induction for a bereavement (funeral), which is completely understandable but still time consuming. I'd be really annoyed for a holiday no-one bothered to mention before.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 09/07/2026 13:40

YANBU except for the drip feed.

Totaldramallama · 09/07/2026 12:33

Yabu, the main issue is this should have been communicated better and you are fair to be annoyed about that

latetothefisting · 09/07/2026 11:25

yeah a bit rude and cheeky of both the employee and the manager. In my work until the employee actually switches over the new manager can't authorise leave on the system so the old one would still have to physically approve it. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that's why they've done it - just thinking 'I want this leave off and old manager is the only person who can put it through on the system,' rather than being deliberately cheeky - but they should have checked with you.

on the other hand it could work out better for you overall. Clearly they had quite a bit of leave to use up and it's normal to want to use it over the summer - at least now they can come to you with a fresh start and get stuck in rather than doing a week or two then going on leave, then back again.

SereneFinch · 09/07/2026 11:20

I’m afraid this would make me wonder if I’d made a mistake hiring this person.

TheSmallAssassin · 09/07/2026 11:13

senua · 09/07/2026 09:26

And get HR to change the date of change of departments. Make this holiday come out of the other manager's budget!

What budget do you think this comes out of?

TheSmallAssassin · 09/07/2026 11:10

Did you invite your new person to all the meetings and had they accepted them? How did they tell you about their leave?

Dankanddrear · 09/07/2026 10:19

I think you're right to be annoyed because the leave was approved after the offer - your new staff member should have checked with you, even though his/her current would have had to formally approve it.

Pretty stupid thing to do, I'd worry about their judgement and professionalism. Hopefully there's a probation period.

KatiePricesKnickers · 09/07/2026 10:18

senua · 09/07/2026 08:52

I would let the new hire know that they have inconvenienced you. And they have therefore started off on the wrong foot.
And I would tell HR all about it and demand that the holiday is paid at the old rate of pay. They don't get the "significant pay rise" until they actually start work in your department.

Terrible advice.