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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dieting is horrendous

216 replies

SassyLemonFish · 09/07/2026 07:59

Just looking for sympathy really.

I’ve a bmi of 28. I need to lose a lot of weight. For the last two weeks I’ve been good but MY GOD the hunger and sheer depressing nature of it all. My BMR is only 1600. Sticking to 1000 or less is so hard.

My husband, on the other hand, seems to have no hunger and amazing self control. Last night he ate a single sweet potato and declared that as his dinner. His BMR is 2700. I can see him visibly changing before my eyes.

I guess I’m just jealous.

OP posts:
hiddenforest · 09/07/2026 08:21

BMI of 28 is barely overweight tbf and I can’t see Mounjaro being approved for that.

I sympathise OP. All the ‘well you shouldn’t be hungry!’ posts just miss the point. Either I’m consumed with guilt for breaking my diet or I’m feeling deprived. It’s a lose lose.

Wherethedogsits · 09/07/2026 08:21

What are you eating in a typical day?

Appaloosa2000 · 09/07/2026 08:21

Mookie81 · 09/07/2026 08:15

Do your adult children have their own jobs to pay their own way?
You'd only decimate muscle if you did nothing to counteract it, any weight loss can come with muscle loss anyway.
What do you think a calorie count of 1000 is doing to your muscles now? Hmm

This. It’s the under eating and no exercise that does the damage.

fill up on veggies and protein. Low calorie but will keep you fuller for longer.

Limeandfigs · 09/07/2026 08:18

SassyLemonFish · 09/07/2026 08:12

I refuse to shell out hundreds to decimate my muscle and bmr further. I can’t afford it with adult children to support. Also, at some point I’d need to stop it. The more permanent solution is for me to learn to live with hunger.

Show quote history

You really shouldn't be restricting yourself to the point of constant hunger and having to live with it, nor to the point of muscle wastage Hmm That's how diets fail. Whatever you're currently doing is not sustainable.

This is different to feeling hungry when it's approaching time to eat - that's normal.

I think you need to look at what you're eating and ask what you can change to have larger, more filling meals without compromising on calorie content.

Didimum · 09/07/2026 08:16

What’s your TDEE? Not your BMR. Of course your BMR is that low.

MaryBeardsShoes · 09/07/2026 08:16

A BMI of 28 is not “a lot” of weight to lose. Lose your negative attitude first and things will be easier.

Mookie81 · 09/07/2026 08:15

Do your adult children have their own jobs to pay their own way?
You'd only decimate muscle if you did nothing to counteract it, any weight loss can come with muscle loss anyway.
What do you think a calorie count of 1000 is doing to your muscles now? Hmm

Whiskeyandkittens · 09/07/2026 08:15

You should never be eating below your BMR - that is what your body needs just to keep yourself alive, no wonder you're feeling terrible.

Original poster
SassyLemonFish · 09/07/2026 08:14

FormerFatty · 09/07/2026 08:05

Have you considered Mounjaro? My BMI was less than yours. It makes dieting effortless, ime.

I also seem to be the only fat person at work now. I reckon a fair few colleagues are on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
SassyLemonFish · 09/07/2026 08:12

FormerFatty · 09/07/2026 08:05

Have you considered Mounjaro? My BMI was less than yours. It makes dieting effortless, ime.

I refuse to shell out hundreds to decimate my muscle and bmr further. I can’t afford it with adult children to support. Also, at some point I’d need to stop it. The more permanent solution is for me to learn to live with hunger.

OP posts:
Limeandfigs · 09/07/2026 08:11

You shouldn't be climbing the walls with hunger.

If you're not already, make sure you're eating plenty of foods with low calorie densities.

Yoghurt and berries for breakfast, protein like fish or eggs with a LOT of salad for main meals, or a stir fry with lots of vegetables (go easy on the oil here). You want bulk foods that will fill you up and be nutritionally healthy but which don't come with tonnes of calories.

Your meals should still be normal size and you shouldn't be starving or feeling depressed.

PerfectTiming2026 · 09/07/2026 08:10

FormerFatty · 09/07/2026 08:05

Have you considered Mounjaro? My BMI was less than yours. It makes dieting effortless, ime.

Maybe her DH is on it Wink
I was coming on to say upping my exercise was the answer for me. Cutting the calories too hard resulted in 3 or 4 excellent days and then a mega binge because of that feeling of deprivation.

FormerFatty · 09/07/2026 08:05

Have you considered Mounjaro? My BMI was less than yours. It makes dieting effortless, ime.

BagaChips · 09/07/2026 08:04

You need to be knocking calories off your TDEE, not your BMR. A calculator like this should give you the right amount

https://www.zavamed.com/uk/tdee-calculator.html?srsltid=AfmBOoqg__YGdH_1QTzpILgVgOs4ajAmvCNnPuno5uj8NgqV8npaIuHP

socks1107 · 09/07/2026 08:02

1000 calories is very low. My bmr is now about 1650 and that’s with exercise most days. I eat 1400 calories a day and this seems to be loosing me a 1lb a month now.
Ive got so used to eating so little but yes it is horrendous and menopause has all but killed my metabolism. That’s being said I have lost 3.5 stone so it doable just not very fun

Sinescure · 09/07/2026 08:02

Of course you feel shit on that. You're cutting too hard. Go a couple of hundred under, up steps and accept that it will take a while. Under 1000 is too little.