Equal bill splitting annoyance

Ive found which group of friends of mine are fair and caring and with them we split the bill as we discuss if it is unfair to anyone who has had less. With others I simply state “I’ll pay for mine separately” with a smile. PERIOD. No explanation and no reason for anyone to argue otherwise. If others want to split, its up to them. Usually those not drinking or ordering less things also end up following suit.

It’s people pleasing to pay for their excesses, just say ‘I’m paying for what I had’ I’ve had this two men ordering ‘buckets’ of different craft beers and expecting us to split the bill. They hate it when you say no.

This! I'm not in the UK but this is how it's always been done when I go out for a meal (aside from the tipping which isn't common here). I don't think I've ever been out with anyone where the bill has been split, it's a ridiculous way to pay.

Grab the waiter to pay the bill and say “I’ve had steak and chips and a glass of wine, so I’ll pay for that!” And pay for that. If you’ve always split the bill equally and that seems too much to do then just say at the start “I’ve got my drink at the bar so I’ll just pay for my food”. If anyone objects then when the bill comes and it is suggested it’s split equally then say “sure, let’s deduct the drinks and split the food as I haven’t had any additional drinks”. My friend doesn’t drink and she just says she’s only paying for food and one lemonade and that’s fine

Well I don't eat meat and I rarely drink alcohol, so no. What I am saying is that to keep the table for your group someone has to be ordering a decent meal and maybe rounds of drinks. If everyone went cheap the night would be over in no time. So in that respect, you are using bigger spenders too if you're the side dish and a glass of tap water type. I absolutely don't think it is right for big drinkers to have everyone else picking up their tab.

first work christmas meal, I had one small msi everyone else ate and drank. my £8 meal cost me £25. it was 28 yrs ago and still gutted!!!

Went out for a meal the other night with six friends.We said we wanted to pay separately and so when payment time came we each went up to the till, said what food and drinks we had had, asked them to add on something for the tip and paid. It really wasn’t an issue, they have tills and machines that deal with this perfectly, as do most bars and restaurants.

You’re completely in the right of course but I think a message after the fact makes this into a bigger deal than it needs to be and wasn’t needed. You could have mentioned it before or during the next meet up. Now it looks like you’ve been festering over it since your meal.

Of course it's rude. Your wealthy friend was bullying you in a way asking if you were paying for her drinks. Fuck no lady, who do you think you are?

Separate checks are not a big deal at all, I don't know what all the crap is about splitting 4 ways or however many instead of just paying for your own food and drink.

Good well done

we take off the non drinker and they pay their share and divide the rest between drinkers

anyone reply yet @Adfreefreezer

They're taking the piss and they know it.

Have a separate drinks bill to the food bill. Or set expectations when you arrive that you'll all go to the bar for drinks but the food all goes on the bill.

We really need to get well away from the doormat mentality whereby people somehow feel mean, petty, unreasonable or a bad friend for paying for the food and drink that they've ordered and consumed!!

I had this with a colleagues leaving do. I ordered a bottle of fizz which I knew would be shared between me and my manager. We offered everyone else a glass but no one wanted it. I took the cost of the wine off the bill before working out the share so I paid for my share plus the fizz.

I usually drink a lot, and I'm often quite diligent with time-keeping and get to the restaurant before others and have a drink, order snacks/appetisers (bread/olives, that sort of thing), so when they arrive they have something to munch on in the meantime.

When I always offer to pay extra, for what I have, I don't often drive, and take public transport whenever I can, so most of the others don't have tend to have anything alcoholic.

I mostly have decent friends and they say not to worry about it. It appears it's more important that we had a good time catching up and enjoying an evening out together.

In the cases where there's someone want to pay for what they had, I'll leave it up to them to work out how much I owe, and leave it at that. I'm not getting a calculator out in the restaurant to work this out, it looks embarrassing, and I often leave the table while they do this. As they want to calculate exactly what each person, then it's likely they'll work it out accurately.

So, you should order things you don't want to avoid being judged? I'll eat what I like, thanks (which is generally more than is good for me-but let the salad eaters do their thing).

Do that OP, that way you are not subsidising their drinks. It is quite fair.

She ordered £15 worth and it cost her £45 that's neither mean nor penny pinching. It's her friends taking advantage.

If I go out with friends and I can see mine is a bit more than theirs I offer separate bills or to add more of the spend.

Because I am not an arse and I like my friends.

What you find impossible to understand is that it’s not acceptable to be a CF to your friends, guzzle the wine
and expect them to pay for it!

Let me tell you, your friends are thinking badly of you and you may find they’re all too busy to meet up in the near future.

Oh dear you’re one of those, that’s ‘always’ happy to have others paying for your extras!

What were they being though, not to say “Oh,Adfree, you haven’t been drinking. We’ll pay for our wine”?

Guys, if you’re ok I’m going to get my own bill since I don’t drink any alcohol.”
You dont have to go that far.
"Guys, if you’re ok I’m going to get my own bill." is enough.

That works for our group.
Earlier I said if it was just two of us we split, more than that we pay our own. The exception tends to be when we have a set price meal. We buy our own drinks from the bar, Get the bill, round it up for a tip and then split it.