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Original poster

Equal bill splitting annoyance

407 replies

Adfreefreezer · 08/07/2026 19:55

Just after some balanced opinions.

Context is that 4 of us old work colleagues meet for dinner 2 or 3 times a year.

We always split the bill equally between us.

Last time we met last week it was noticeable that 2 of us including me ordered a drink at the bar when we arrived and then paid for it ourselves and then found our table and didn't drink any more.

Other 2 ordered all drinks at the table to go on the group tab and had 4 or 5 alcoholic drinks.

I had a main at 15 quid, others ordered mains all about 20 to 22 each, no issue there.

However the bill came to just over 160 plus tip and we all paid about 45 each, it really struck home that 2 of us are massively subsidising the others 2 alcohol !

Don't want to spoil the atmosphere but equally it's irritating !

No one skint , all working

What is a pleasant way to put a stop to this ?! Without being mean or penny pinching

OP posts:
Bingbangboo · 08/07/2026 20:05

You either have to raise your order to match theirs, or ask them to pay for drinks separately. I'm all for not letting people get away with making others pay a vastly unequal share, but it doesn't sound like they were deliberately running up a bill. They didn't make you order your single drink at the bar.
Personally, I think the people who go out for a group meal and then order a side salad and a glass of water just as irritating as those who take advantage the other way.

Blackbirdsandrats · 08/07/2026 20:04

You need to disrupt the pattern.
At the start of the meal before the menu if possible, say something along the lines of I'm going to pay for myself rather than split the bill because I want to feel free to treat myself to whatever I fancy and I'm uncomfortable doing that when I know I'd be passing the cost onto you 3.
They can't argue much because you've said you don't like it, rather than it's not fair.

Original poster
Adfreefreezer · 08/07/2026 20:04

I'm honestly thinking of asking wait staff for a separate bill as I am usually the ones who needs to leave earliest and frame it as easiest if they want to carry on without me?

Last week I released I paid an extra 30 quid for others drinks , I don't drink so a large soda lasts for a meal

OP posts:
VIII · 08/07/2026 20:03

What is a pleasant way to put a stop to this ?! Without being mean or penny pinching

You won't be able to put a stop to it without a backlash in my experience. These people have got used to you paying for their drinks and won't be happy to see you grow a backbone.

Username19893847477374 · 08/07/2026 20:01

I had a group of 5 work mates, some would share wine, others wouldn't. We split alcohol by people drinking, and food by those eating. Could you do the same?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 08/07/2026 20:00

Don't order your drinks at the bar then

Gardenisablooming · 08/07/2026 19:59

When you book the table give them the heads up the bill will be being split 4 ways.

Once ate out with dh , bff and her dh. I was pregnant so no alcohol..I asked for separate bills...her dh started counting out small change for their share. He had no intention of paying any of the bill it seemed !
We ate out once with them. Never again. .