Equal bill splitting annoyance

I always feel quite sorry for some of the posters on threads like this. I can’t imagine socialising with people who aren’t aware of what they’ve ordered, and don’t instantly mention it when it comes to paying.

we go out with some friends as a couple, or friends individually, and I’d say the bill is split more often than not - but every single time there’s a unfair discrepancy it has been mentioned by one of the party. Its normally shrugged off by the person who would be considered out of pocket, because I think it evens out eventually and it’s never an outlandish amount, but the fact that it’s noted by the rest of the group shows a mutual consideration I think.

Also, I’d hate to socialise with people who think I’m trying to sponge off them if I have a second cocktail. May that friendship never find me.

This goes the other way though,

I go out with my group of five, all old school friends and we have known each other for decades. We are all in completely different income streams, I wouldn’t expect my high earning friend to pay out for me to eat a 3 course à la carte meal and drink like a fish when she had only ordered a set menu and a soda!

that’s taking advantage of friends

You are paying for the occasion not an individual night out

I’ve been in both sides of this and when I’m the one drinking I’ll always suggest the drinkers split the alcohol bill. Thats an easy way to eradicate big unfairnesses in the bill splitting. It’s inconsiderate of your friends not to think of this.

next time say something along the lines of - “can we put the alcohol on a separate bill since only half of us are drinking” or “I’ll just pay for myself since I’ve only had one soft drink”.

It's not that hard tbh, I have started telling the waiter when they take my order, that I would like a separate bill. It's your right and no one's business why you want one. It's the only industry that behaves like this, making it awkward for people because they can't be bothered with the admin of calculating separate bills - clothes shops manage, fast food manages, cinemas manage.. literally every other industry manages to give people a separate bill when making a purchase.

The first restaurant to make individual bills compulsory will make so much money(!)

Thirty quid subsidising other people’s drinks when you only had one soft drink all night ? Don’t think so.

I am usually happy to split the bill, if my share is say £30 and I’ve only eaten/drank £20. I wouldn’t grumble over an extra tenner.

But if my share of a £200 bill between 3 is £18, to be forced to pay an extra £50 is a pisstake. Even if I can afford it, that’s money I could have spent on my DCs or paid a bill with. At the same time the CFers are paying the same £66 so they are both £25 pound each up on what they’ve consumed at the cost of their friend.

I had dinner with a couple of friends who ordered two bottles of expensive wine between them plus a cocktail each. They are very heavy drinkers and I’m teetotal. I split the enormous bill but I wasn’t happy and I’ll never go out with them again.

YANBU I’m all in favour of splitting the bill for ease, as long as everyone had roughly the same. I definitely wouldn’t quibble over a few quid, but it sounds like your friends are taking the piss.

Why?

Well, that's approaching the issue in exactly the right way - from the point of view of generosity.

We can all choose to do that, or we can choose the opposite.

Do you find restaurants do this much? A lot of the ones I've been to say no separate bills for tables. Agree it's really annoying. If someone wants starters, the most expensive main, several sides, desserts etc that's fine, but it's usually the person who earns the most who then tells you it's not etiquette to each pay roughly the amount you spent! Ok, but for the people in the group who do have to budget, it's good etiquette for them to subsidise you?

So you set up a tab at the bar- IS it okay if I put the drinks on a tab, we have a booking for 7.30? Then everyone's drinks/foods get split. I do think though that unless someone has had something way out of line, you do then just split the bill by the number of people attending?

OP, why on earth did you let that go.
Of course they knew, but didn't care.

Very foolish to let that go.
£30 is a substantial amount to pay.extra.

I had similar issues in a friendship group I am in. A friend I’ll call Alice, became unemployed and so the other three in the group would chip in to cover her share of a meal and drinks out. I didn’t mind to start with as it seemed a kind thing to do. But she drinks more than anyone else and often ordered one of the more pricey things on the menu. I’m not saying she should go for the cheapest as she’s not paying but it became consistent. Anyhow, about a year ago four of us went out for a meal, she ordered a second bottle of wine and said I’ll pay for it as I want it. When we got the bill and it was brought up that she had ordered the second bottle of wine she had a hissy fit and talked of splitting the bill! It became a real drama and she ended up paying the whole bill (in a strop) and telling us all where to go! We did get apologies afterwards but has taken a long time to repair the friendship which will never be the same again. Now very to only go to places where we pre-order and pay up front so we can pay for ourselves!

Your friends are ripping the piss.

It's tough having to be careful with money.
One of our group said she was being careful with money - she suggested we all take turns hosting - guess she figured out a way of saving money as she never did host! 🙄

I have always paid more than my share, as we split evenly when we dine out and I have less kids, all eating adult sized meals.

One time…one single time….that the bill was in my/our favour, one of my friends wanted to pay for what they had (she wasn’t drinking) and it was adults only.

The way we split historically has cost us literally thousands (we split down the middle on holidays etc despite there being far fewer of us etc) and we have always been more than happy with this. I was absolutely hopping mad and haven’t eaten out with them since - and won’t! On principle.

Yeah, people who order loads of extra drinks and then don’t offer to pay for them are cheeky fuckers. Bill splitting only works when you’ve all had similar. Paying a bit extra is not an issue, but paying more than double what you had is.

I absolutely don't agree. Why should some pay double what they need to because others have had a good piss up. Whenever I've been out with friends, if I've enjoyed a few drinks and there's a non drinker I always suggest that the non drinker pays less!

Its just good manners

Just say, "lets all just pay for what we eat drink"

Just tell them that you are watching your budget and that you are going to pay for what you have had

I suggest you were the CF- If you declare at the beginning you want to split the bill no problem. Waiting till the end to calculate which way would be cheapest for you is CF territory.

The ones drinking their heads off and expecting to not pay for a great chunk of it are the penny pinchers. The poor saps left footing the bill are the ones who need to speak up - you’ll soon know if they’re real friends.

A quick, ‘I’m going to pay for my own food and drinks tonight’ is enough. It might be awkward the first time but it’ll be fine after that.

I always check the bill - we've been overcharged quite a few times.