Equal bill splitting annoyance

i think this is a situation where you should split 4 ways , seems a bit petty not to. But ask for the drinks at the bar to be included in the bill or if that’s not possible just wait and order at the table

For once the CFs are here and can’t see that they are the issue. I couldn’t have a night where my main was £20 and I drank tonnes but then only paid a share of £30. And don’t give me the argument that “well they could order/ drink more “ as guess what? Your night would be £££ and you might , unless you’re so wealthy you don’t notice another £30 , think “wow the meal is a lot tonight”. YOU are willingly allowing your friends who you are supposed to care about and value the friendship , pay for you. You either know what you’re doing or are oblivious to money.

Same here. Even DH and I split bills correctly in the first few years we were together. My instigation as I wanted equal fairness. OK, not down to the penny, but pretty close. Even on holidays, before we lived together, we'd take a "joint" purse to buy things where we bought roughly equally, i.e. drinks, snacks, meals, souvenirs, entry fees, into which we put equal amounts of cash. For anything different, we used our own separate purses, i.e. if one of us wanted a much more expensive meal or 2 drinks when the other only had 1, etc. I never put up with going out with friends and them wanting to split the bills equally when there had been differences in what we'd had - I'd always get in first when it came to paying to say we'd pay for our own. Don't really understand why people think it's difficult as it's just adding a few figures together. Of course, even better these days to order separately on the app in bars/restaurants, so no need to worry about bill splitting etc. as everyone orders their own and pays upon ordering it.

I think the people who let this happen are absolute CF. I couldn’t imagine allowing my friend to split the bill down the middle knowing I had been drinking alcohol and she hadn’t. I’d insist she paid her own tab only.

😀Thank you x

There is no point in reading this poster's posts on this thread as she hasn't once justified why someone who expects others to cover the extra charge for their food & drink cannot possibly be seen as a penny pincher. I ftft again after @MasterBethtold me to but sadly could not find anything new in addition to what I'd already read

That’s the way it should be.
What I notice usually though is it’s the biggest consumers who say shall we split! They are the penny pinchers in fact. Not those who are paying they’re bill.

Yes, it's just wild that anyone would think otherwise!

My mum has this a lot as she doesn't drink alcohol and has a small appetite so will have two courses max and her dessert will usually be something small and cheap like ice cream or sorbet. Why the hell should she pay towards other peoples' bottle(s) of wine and three course meals unless she actually wants to treat someone (in which case she'd probably be paying for the whole meal anyway). She always takes cash now and just pays for her own share plus tip.

We could just all pay what we are having by default and there would be no need for any conversation.

This all the way. I love cocktails and usually get three courses when I’m out because I like my food. I am always very clear that I will pay for my own meal because I don’t want to have to compromise on what I eat or drink in order to fairly split a bill. There have been times when my share of the bill has been double that of my friends’, and I am more than happy to pay it.

They wouldn't have to overpay. You just say "I've had some more expensive drinks so I'll pay extra for what I have"

Or the other way around. I like expensive cocktails and occasionally ordering a more expensive item from the menu. I want to order what I want and pay for it, instead of buying something cheaper I don't feel like just so others won't have to overpay because of me.

Nice try. You've only said that everyone should be generous. Again, you haven't justified anywhere (and I have read all of your replies) why people should be expected to pay for others if they eat & drink more. If I cover the cost of other people's food & drinks, how are they being generous? Suggesting that everyone should approach the situation with generosity makes no sense as if everyone did that, the only people benefiting would be the staff

I really don't get why it is seen as "mean or penny-pinching" to pay for what you eat and drink yourself. As a very light drinker who generally only eats one course, I simply don't see why the hell I should pay for those who pig out and drink heavily. Total cheeky fuckery.

Duplicate

Here's one:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5552062-equal-bill-splitting-annoyance?reply=153433574&utm_campaign=reply&utm_medium=share

I'm not repeating every nuance of the argument. Read the thread.

Well given the state of hospitality at the moment I think the punters have the upper hand and if they want split bills, split bills they will have.

Where have you given your reasons for it being ok for people who expect others to cover the cost of their meal/drinks?

OP posted a problem that she’s fed up of consistently paying over the odds and always has to subsidise her friend’s alcohol.

You popped up and said anyone who doesn’t split the bill equally is a skinflint because it’s give and take, and that’s what you do with your circle of friends and it works out even in the end.

Countless people have pointed out that it isn’t give and take in this instance, OP is always the giver and her friends are always the takers.

You will not back down. OP and her friends are not you and your friends. It’s a completely different situation so your comparisons won’t work.

How rude!

Do you usually jump into conversations halfway through and insist people go back to the start because you can't be bothered to catch up?

You "can't be bothered" to understand someone else's point of view that they have carefully explained in the course of a debate? That's pathetic, all right...

You can't have read very carefully, then.

I would just be paying for what I had if they are going to take the piss.

Drinks should always be off the main bill.

Some restaurants do not like to split bills, so this should be sorted at the table.

Can't be bothered thanks- why post unless you want different people's opinions & then just make pathetic rude replies when they take time to state their experience, advice & views? With that attitude I am just surprised that you have 'friends' who want to socialise with you anyway.