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Being tailgated (new driver)

166 replies

AncientWasp · 08/07/2026 19:16

Recently passed and got a hatchback as that's all I need. I stick to the speed limit but I'm finding a lot of people don't (I'm told some people memorise where the speed cameras are?) But what I'm getting annoyed at is almost always having someone (men) in SUVs or vans driving about an inch away from me, seen a few shaking their head, throwing their hands up etc.
I let them overtake where possible, but obviously not always safe. Is this something I just have to put up with? Highly doubt they'd be doing it if I were male and in an SUV.

OP posts:
Silvers11 · 09/07/2026 14:33

PippaGoggins · 08/07/2026 19:29

Keep your eyes on the road ahead, don’t look behind you to see what people in cars behind are doing. If the people behind crash into you, it’s their responsibility. If you’re paying attention to drivers in cars behind you and crash into the car in front, in the best case scenario your insurance premium will go up. 30 in a 30 zone is totally reasonable.

@AncientWasp Please do not follow the advice provided in this post. You need to keep checking your rear view and side mirrors, even if you have a tailgater!

While I know where they are coming from, the correct procedure is to lower your speed very slowly, to increase the gap between you and the car in front. If the car in front of you has to stop quickly you will be able to slow down slowly, rather than also having to slam on your breaks which will inevitably mean the tailgater crashing into the back of you.

Many, many people do not do the following, but it's in the highway code: that in dry conditions you should be at least 2 seconds behind the car in front. In wet weather 4 seconds and in snow at least 10 seconds.

Obviously as others have said, try not to let them put you off your driving, and move over/pull in somewhere to let them pass you as soon as you can

Indaloo · 09/07/2026 14:28

Sinescure · 09/07/2026 08:13

Chill out, girl racer. They're allowed on the road too and you don't have to like it.

They really shouldn’t be using a satnav for their speedo. God knows how accurate that is. OP could end up the girl racer unwittingly!

DontEatTheMushies · 09/07/2026 14:23

AncientWasp · 08/07/2026 19:34

I might be paranoid but I'm convinced they target women in smaller cars..

I do tend to agree sadly. But also i have had some older (id say over 50's given how they look) women who are just as bad - and thats IN smaller cars.

We now have it down to 20 in the towns and villages up here, so our 40-30 is now 30-20.
To get to mine you take the 1st or last left....which one I take depends on the behavior of the person behind me. I do admit to getting a bit of glee doing 20 at 5pm through the village with someone RIGHT up behind me. Then I take a loooong careful turn into the road to mine (do actually have to as you cannot see down it until your AT it).

I did once have a range rover over take from a few cars back - came hoooring past me and 3 other cars who were doing the limit. He gave me the finger, so I gave his reg to the police 😂. I really CBA who I piss off anymore when it comes to driving.

In my younger days I have stopped dead and gotten out to confront tailgaiters before - I am aware how stupid that is.
Sometimes my kids like to take a picture - I make sure they put the flash on, so its clear its been taken - They have been known to give the middle finger out the back window as well. Best as a Fk off you weirdo sign one scrawled in their text book and held up.

Unless someone is dying, and your an emergency response vehicle there is no need!

GasPanic · 09/07/2026 14:10

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 09/07/2026 13:21

Here's an insight into the mentality of these tailgaters, which I came across on FB last week. Some guy was asking how he could get the 70mph speed limiter removed from his (new to him) white van. The huge majority of replies either told him how to do it, or where to get it done, but even more they delighted in explaining why it was stupid, and unnecessary. The few who took the "Well, it's the maximum speed" were abused relentlessly.

This country has gone from basically law abiding, to fundamentally thinking not "what's right", but "what can I get away with." Driving us just the most obvious example of this, every single day.

Well done for following the law, OP, that's exactly what your new licence permits you to do, nothing more.

The problem is these days there is all stick and no carrot when it comes to speed limits.

The hard of thinking parrot the limit, as if 1 mph under the limit is safe, whereas 1 mph over it is unsafe.

The reality is that it is a sliding scale, not an absolute one.

I am all for 20 mph limits around urban areas. They make a lot of sense where I am yet the limits are still 30 mph.

Yet I think 70 mph is too low a limit for many main roads and we would be better off having a french style which varies depending on weather conditions (this of course makes the limit more interpretable, but maybe does highlight the fact that people should be driving to the conditions more rather than the limit and actually thinking about the speed they choose, which is the whole point).

You only have to look at the number of cars exceeding the limit on the motorway to realise a significant proportion of the population feel the same way.

Still, disagreeing with and maybe exceeding the limit and tailgating are to me two very separate things. I will not tailgate because I believe it's too dangerous, whereas exceeding the limit I think under certain circumstances can be fine.

I don't believe that someone tailgating at under the limit is driving in a safe way, although technically they are under the limit (they may get prosecuted for driving recklessly or with undue attention if an accident is caused).

If the government wants to reduce the accidents on major roads probably the one thing it could try to do is reduce the incidence of tailgating rather than focus on speeding. Of course doing this is harder, which is why to date they haven't done anything about it. But the technology exists.

WonderWeeksArentReal · 09/07/2026 13:50

AncientWasp · 08/07/2026 19:36

No, i was told I'd get 'bullied" if i put them on

I actually found P plates helped with tailgaters when I first passed.

Apart from that, as pp have said I think the advice is to increase the distance between you and the car in front of you (so that if tailgater goes into the back of you, then you don't hit the next car).

Also pull over if you can do so safely. It's annoying though because it feels like it's rewarding their dick behaviour.

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 09/07/2026 13:21

Here's an insight into the mentality of these tailgaters, which I came across on FB last week. Some guy was asking how he could get the 70mph speed limiter removed from his (new to him) white van. The huge majority of replies either told him how to do it, or where to get it done, but even more they delighted in explaining why it was stupid, and unnecessary. The few who took the "Well, it's the maximum speed" were abused relentlessly.

This country has gone from basically law abiding, to fundamentally thinking not "what's right", but "what can I get away with." Driving us just the most obvious example of this, every single day.

Well done for following the law, OP, that's exactly what your new licence permits you to do, nothing more.

WhistPie · 09/07/2026 13:21

Mama2many73 · 09/07/2026 12:49

I learnt to drive in my 30s. I hated this during lessons, but my instructor was there to keep me steady and not panic. He would often say ignore the arsehole behind you etc

As a new driver I would find it would affect me and Id be worried by it. A friend would say its better they are infront of uou than behind, so as you do let them past if you can.

The more experienced you become the less it will get to you. I mean you'll still see them, still call them arseholes but it wont affect you as much, more annoying than upsetting /concerning.

Dashcams - both me and my DH are looking to get them. We've witnessed so much bad/dangerous driving but dont have evidence to back it ip. My DSis was hit from behind (at slow speed thankfully) lad admitted fault but then changed his story so now its a he said she said situation She has already gotten a dashcam.

If you're hit from behind, it's always the car behind's fault. That's why scammers reverse into you and why you need to have a dashcam

Ponoka7 · 09/07/2026 13:00

PippaGoggins · 08/07/2026 19:29

Keep your eyes on the road ahead, don’t look behind you to see what people in cars behind are doing. If the people behind crash into you, it’s their responsibility. If you’re paying attention to drivers in cars behind you and crash into the car in front, in the best case scenario your insurance premium will go up. 30 in a 30 zone is totally reasonable.

How does that work when you need to be checking your rear mirrors around every ten seconds? I hope you aren't driving around just looking ahead.

gamerchick · 09/07/2026 12:55

Gardengargoyle · 08/07/2026 22:12

Me too, that's what my driving instructor taught me to do back in 1983. He said "you can't control how close he drives, but you can control the speed" he didn't mention tapping the brakes, just very gradually allowing the car to slow down. That way I wouldn't miss any spots at the side of the road where I could pull over and let the loony blast past, and if there was nowhere safe to pull over at least if he did run into me it would do less damage when we were travelling at 15mph and not 60.

Edited

That's how I was taught as well. I also got the 'if he goes into the back of you then it'll be his fault, don't worry' always stuck in my head because I'd rather someone didn't go into the back of me ta.

Blueuggboots · 09/07/2026 12:50

Slow down and don’t be intimidated. Refer in the wrong, not you.

Mama2many73 · 09/07/2026 12:49

I learnt to drive in my 30s. I hated this during lessons, but my instructor was there to keep me steady and not panic. He would often say ignore the arsehole behind you etc

As a new driver I would find it would affect me and Id be worried by it. A friend would say its better they are infront of uou than behind, so as you do let them past if you can.

The more experienced you become the less it will get to you. I mean you'll still see them, still call them arseholes but it wont affect you as much, more annoying than upsetting /concerning.

Dashcams - both me and my DH are looking to get them. We've witnessed so much bad/dangerous driving but dont have evidence to back it ip. My DSis was hit from behind (at slow speed thankfully) lad admitted fault but then changed his story so now its a he said she said situation She has already gotten a dashcam.

GasPanic · 09/07/2026 12:49

I'm not convinced if you are tailgating someone in a small car when you are in an SUV you can easily tell who is in front, both with the angle and the headrest.

Unless you put a big sticker on the back saying "I am a woman".

Anyway, I would just put P plates on.

TeflonMom · 09/07/2026 12:47

Always BMW drivers. I call them the arsehole mobiles

Tippexy · 09/07/2026 12:45

Isobel201 · 09/07/2026 09:25

Don't rely on your sat nav for your speed, use the actual speed dial in your car.

It’s the other way round 😊

Anxioustealady · 09/07/2026 12:37

Hundslappadrifa · 09/07/2026 09:46

Why would she need P plates if she’s doing the speed limit?
This pisses me off too, if the speed limit is 30, then I drive at 30. If the person behind me thinks it doesn’t apply to them, that’s their problem.

Do you know what P plates are? There for new drivers so hopefully people know they're new and give them some grace. Nothing to do with speed limits.

Netcurtainnelly · 09/07/2026 12:22

AncientWasp · 08/07/2026 19:16

Recently passed and got a hatchback as that's all I need. I stick to the speed limit but I'm finding a lot of people don't (I'm told some people memorise where the speed cameras are?) But what I'm getting annoyed at is almost always having someone (men) in SUVs or vans driving about an inch away from me, seen a few shaking their head, throwing their hands up etc.
I let them overtake where possible, but obviously not always safe. Is this something I just have to put up with? Highly doubt they'd be doing it if I were male and in an SUV.

Yanbu they are. You should keep a car and a half length in front of you and it will be their fault if they go.into.you at the back.

So many impatient selfish people around. Just slow down. Alot of people are driving far too fast.

BirthdayTrash · 09/07/2026 11:29

Chickalette · 09/07/2026 10:20

Which only translates to a real-world difference of about 2 to 4 mph. @BirthdayTrash

Could be 7mph at 70…….. it doesn’t max out at 4mph

StripyShirt · 09/07/2026 11:15

I mostly ignore tailgaters, but am not averse to cleaning my windscreen frequently 😄

If I get a particularly annoying tailgater, I'll either pull over or lose them by going round a roundabout - better to get rid of them and let them annoy someone else than to have a stressful drive.

Iheartmysmart · 09/07/2026 10:44

I drive a tiny car and have noticed that drivers tailgating and cutting me up at roundabouts and junctions has got steadily worse over the last few years. Men are usually worse than women and SUV and electric car owners make up the majority of arseholes. I can only assume I have a factory fitted cloaking device that I’m unaware of which makes me invisible to other road users because I’m not a slow driver by any stretch of the imagination.

Hohumbrumbrum · 09/07/2026 10:43

Chickalette · 09/07/2026 10:20

Which only translates to a real-world difference of about 2 to 4 mph. @BirthdayTrash

Exactly. Sticking to the cars speedometer means that you know you won't accidentally speed, because in reality you've got a couple of mph flex. And yes, most speed cams give you a few mph over (though it's not as simple as 10%+), but it's still breaking the law. I'm trying to drive within the law, not as fast as I can get away with.

So yes, I aim to do 30 in a 30, 40 in a 40 etc (assuming it's safe to do), based on my speedometer. If I stray to 32 or 33 then I know I'm still probably just about ok in reality.

Mrstawnyowl · 09/07/2026 10:21

Don’t worry OP it’s not just you being a new driver. I’ve been driving nearly 30 years and am very conscientious about adhering to 30s and 40s. I still get annoyed by other drivers appearing to be trying to speed me on. I’m not breaking the law for anybody. It’s not worth risking being in an accident for such a silly reason as speeding.

Incidentally my dad was once a witness in court because he saw a child killed outright by a speeding driver.

Chickalette · 09/07/2026 10:20

Which only translates to a real-world difference of about 2 to 4 mph. @BirthdayTrash

sugarapplelane · 09/07/2026 10:19

As soon as I get someone on my arse I put my hazards on and drive more slowly. This usually does the trick.
They make me so angry.

BirthdayTrash · 09/07/2026 10:19

BoredZelda · 09/07/2026 10:00

That is terrible advice from a driving instructor.

i passed first time with 1 minor fault (I pulled away from the emergency stop before the examiner told me to - in my defense we were outside the roughest school in the city at lunchtime and had I stayed a minute longer they’d have had the wheels off!) after 10 lessons (and no additional driving in parental cars etc).

And in the 31 years since (and well over 400,000 miles) I’ve never had a speeding ticket or any points on my licence and the only accident was someone driving into my car whilst it was parked in a car park. 😇

LightlyRoamingOcelots · 09/07/2026 10:18

If someone is tailgating you, slow right down. If they don't know about braking distances then it's not safe to go at the speed limit - they are causing a hazard and it is appropriate to reduce speed to reduce the likelihood of a dangerous situation - if in a 30mph zone slow to 15mph. If in a 20mph zone, slow to 10mph. Their frustration/anger is irrelevant to you. Your responsibility is to drive safely and legally. If they drop back to a sensible distance it is safe to return to the speed limit speed if other road conditions allow.