Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask in-laws to remove shoes?

214 replies

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 18:26

Context: 10 month old has been hospitalised twice in the last two weeks for bronch then catching a bug that went straight to his chest. First hospital visit high flow oxygen for four days and NG feeding tube. Second oxygen for 4 hours.

I grew up in a shoes off house. Do it automatically as does DH, DC and my family and guests. In-laws however just walk straight in even though I’ve repeatedly asked if they can remove their shoes.

10 month old and 2 year old basically live on the floor downstairs playing, it’s LVT so isn’t carpeted. Little one was discharged on Monday after having to call 999 and get him taken to hospital via an ambulance simply for catching the common cold as he’s so run down.

FIL dropped off my toddler (at their request to take her) and stormed straight through standing next to the playmat where he was playing. We reminded everyone a few days ago to remove shoes. The annoying thing is he didn’t even utter one word to me, just stood looking at baby so no need for him to come in the house. MIL took her shoes off and came through and we spoke, done handover etc. We’re trying to mitigate as much germs as possible just now and feel like I’m going mad! I know I’m unable to remove all germs but with such a poorly baby I don’t want all sorts trailed through the house if I can help it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Wonderwall23 · 08/07/2026 19:33

I think you're literally going to have to meet your FIL at the door and say it there and then each time...or even better your DH should. In fairness at least your MIL did it so that's a plus for her.

Total aside but I was in a portaloo at my son's football tournament a couple of weeks ago...in my clean white trainers as the grass outside was dry...and the floor was absolutely grim. I thought immediately of mumsnet! (I would classify myself in the 'shoes off' (but not militant) category but this did sway me further on the 'shoes off' scale!)

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 19:30

NorthXNorthWest · 08/07/2026 18:58

You have a DH problem.

If the rule are shoes off, then it's shoes off. You don't have to explain why. They can choose to remove their shoes when the visit or choose not to visit.

Why is your DH not addressing this with them?

DH literally told them on Monday again when we got discharged from hospital. Took them off Monday, walked straight in tonight. It’s always him that tells them.

OP posts:
Gardenisablooming · 08/07/2026 18:58

Well polite words are being ignored.

MajorSamanthaCarter · 08/07/2026 18:58

Gardenisablooming · 08/07/2026 18:53

Ils are grim ime. My ils have never seen dgc walking as dd refuses to put her dc down on their carpets .
Dh needs to be having stern words.

Well that's batshit.

NorthXNorthWest · 08/07/2026 18:58

You have a DH problem.

If the rule are shoes off, then it's shoes off. You don't have to explain why. They can choose to remove their shoes when the visit or choose not to visit.

Why is your DH not addressing this with them?

Anarchy99 · 08/07/2026 18:54

Gardenisablooming · 08/07/2026 18:53

Ils are grim ime. My ils have never seen dgc walking as dd refuses to put her dc down on their carpets .
Dh needs to be having stern words.

‘Stern words’? Seriously? It’s fine to lay the law down in your own house but they aren’t recalcitrant toddlers.

BeBluntCoralBird · 08/07/2026 18:53

Why can’t DH deal with it?

Gardenisablooming · 08/07/2026 18:53

Ils are grim ime. My ils have never seen dgc walking as dd refuses to put her dc down on their carpets .
Dh needs to be having stern words.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 08/07/2026 18:51

AgnesMcDoo · 08/07/2026 18:44

Honestly chill about the germs.

But your house your rules. We don’t allow shoes on in our house to keep the carpets nice.

Bold move to tell OP to "Chill about the germs" after reading that post.

LaliqueSaltGrinder · 08/07/2026 18:50

Well it's up to you whether people wear shoes or not, but your child is not going to become unwell from shoe germs.

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 18:49

AgnesMcDoo · 08/07/2026 18:44

Honestly chill about the germs.

But your house your rules. We don’t allow shoes on in our house to keep the carpets nice.

I understand I’m being OTT but him catching a common cold has landed him back in hospital again within a week, via ambulance etc. I’m not normally as pedantic.

OP posts:
Anarchy99 · 08/07/2026 18:48

As you will have probably seen from the other threads about shoes on in the house, most people are going to rush to agree with you.

Personally I hate taking my shoes off in someone’s house (especially if they have small children as they aren’t terribly hygienic and the floors aren’t necessarily very clean) but then it doesn’t happen often as I don’t know anyone socially who insists on it in real life luckily.

AgnesMcDoo · 08/07/2026 18:44

Honestly chill about the germs.

But your house your rules. We don’t allow shoes on in our house to keep the carpets nice.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 08/07/2026 18:35

Your house, your rules! Wearing outdoor shoes indoors is disgusting even if a baby isn’t unwell!