AIBU to ask in-laws to remove shoes?

YANBU for asking them to remove their shoes, just meet them at the door and remind them each time. If they're a shoes on house they will need reminded every time!

Also, I'm a total germaphobe and I wouldn't be worried about my baby catching a cold from someone wearing shoes in my home. I'd be more worried about a stomach bug. For colds I'd focus on hand washing for the baby and guests or family members who are touching their hands and toys!

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Your dd never lets her child be barefoot on the grass?

OP your child didn’t get bronchiolitis from your father in laws shoes. Your time would be better spent taking a good look at the handwashing hygiene in your home.

So sorry to hear your baby has been unwell.
And I totally understand that you just want him to pay attention to the request and do it rather than you having to remind him on the spot, but you and DH are just going to have to go 'oh, dad, would you just mind taking your shoes off, just better safe than sorry with the kids crawling about' you can say that every time you see him with shoes on and its not rude.
If you think the germ angle isnt getting through, invent an imaginary tale about your friends who tracked glass or dog poo through their house off the street and their baby touched it. Or something.

We are a shoes off household and tend to go about in bare feet, but:

1. A few years ago one guest refused so I gave him a pair of overshoes (disposable). He was very embarrassed.
2. Two weeks ago I was walking in the kitchen and got a tiny piece of glass in my foot. So thinking about slippers.

I’ve been there OP. The common cold has left both of my children struggling to breathe and needing high flow oxygen and a feeding tube, more than once for each.

It has left me absolutely terrified of germs. Yes children are covered in germs and have constant runny noses, but when a simple runny nose leaves your child seriously ill, it is a different issue and people who have never been through that will never understand.

So aside from that it’s your house and your rules, and outdoor shoes inside is absolutely disgusting, YANBU to expect your in laws to take this one step to help prevent germs.

I would also buy a box of shoe covers as a compromise

Put a note on your front door, shoes off. Keep the door locked so they cannot come in unless invited. Physically block them coming any further into the house. It is so rude to flout the rules at someone else's house and be expected to be invited back.

My ILs have their slippers here as they too are a shoe off household but forgot their slippers once so now they have an extra pair here. The vast majority of people who have come to my house ask beforehand if we are a shoes off house. I just take slippers with me and change my shoes at all houses. I have a specific pair for that that get washed. All workmen carry their own shoe covers or happily take their shoes off.

When you walk outside on pavements you walk in dried up dog shit, piss, dead insects etc, that doesn't get removed from your shoes with a doormat. On MN there is a 50/50 split with shoes on/shoes off and quite frankly I wouldn't want to touch the soles of my shoes never mind walk that into my house.

You're not unreasonable! My in laws are the same and my mum. We stopped asking them eventually but moving house soon so plan to use new floors to reinstate the rule. In some places in Europe people even take off their shoes at the office!

I have to insist our kids keep theirs on. Our hall’s miniscule and I don’t want a trip hazard in it.

It depends what people are used to though. I think it’s very unwelcoming to tell people to take them off (unless you are all the same).

Are your houses kept spotless at all times? Because presumably they would have to be because if not, why would someone want to walk on potentially dirty floors without their shoes?

Your filnis a very rude man! This needs pointing out to him!! It’s not his house!! Stomping in to come and stand staring at the baby with his shoes on is entitled and clearly a VERY intentional fuck you!

make sure the front door is kept locked so he can’t just walk in and do what he likes for a start! And tell him at the door he either takes his shoes off or he can go and sit in the car and wait for mil!!

Offer covers instead. Many older people (and quite a few younger ones!) have problems that make removing shoes painful and difficult. Having a seat ready, and offering to help them put them on if necessary, would be good if there is any possibility they are struggling. Regarding infection, if the kids go to nursery/groups/softplay etc, most people wear outdoor shoes in at least some of the areas.

I am 100% the shoes off person. I feel so uncomfortable when a host tells me not to take them off. Your in laws are disrespecting you by ignoring your rules in your house. I would be bold and tell them that in the future you can only meet outside.

Pre warn them though so they can wear clean socks 🧦

Lock your doors so you can intercept them before they come in and ask them each time to take their shoes off- are they avoiding it as they have lace ups and struggle to bend over/ get shoes on off?

Colds and respiratory viruses are far more likely to spread on people’s hands than their feet. But it’s your house, your rules. MN is generally pro-shoes off, but think you’ve got OCD if you wash your hands when you come in from outside which makes no sense to me.

Seriously? The pavements and streets around you are super clean?

I don’t understand people who would leave their shoes on in the house. Why would you bring unnecessary dirt into the house? It’s so easy to just take your shoes off and if you really don’t like just wearing socks then wear slippers?

I insist my children take their shoes off at the door and I’d ask all guests to do the same. I’d not insist but I’d think twice about inviting them again.

Luckily the only people I know who have not automatically taken their shoes off are older family members and it’s not been hard to suggest cafe meet ups rather than invite them over again. Everyone my age automatically removes their shoes without me having to say anything. I do the same in their houses.

OP I think you can ask FIL to take his shoes off. Provide him with those slip on slider things you get at spas (where, incidentally, you aren’t allowed to walk around in outdoor shoes because it’s dirty)

Keep doors locked
Meet at door
Tell them shoes off
Block entrance until shoes are off
It's your home. Your rules. Very very rude not to stick to rules in someone else's home

Shoes off in the main living room because it’s carpets. Rest of the place is hard floor, so shoes can stay on.

i can’t imagine anyone will be catching anything from shoe germs

You're going to have to be prepared to stop them /him at the door and tell them to take shoes off before you let them past.

Wearing shoes in the house will have absolutely no impact on your child’s health.

It’s fine to say no shoes, many people have a shoes odd household, it’s perfectly normal. Focusing on the germs isn’t though, your child is not going to catch a cold or infection because someone was wearing shoes in the house. If I was you I would be putting your focus on the normal reason people take their shoes off, cleanliness.

Your house, your rules I suppose, but it isn't something I insist on providing that shoes are not visibly filthy and muddy.

I can see why your child's recent illnesses and hospitalisations have made you more nervous though.

This - meet him at the door. Offer him a box to put his shoes in if you need to. It's intentional at this point.