Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask in-laws to remove shoes?

214 replies

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 18:26

Context: 10 month old has been hospitalised twice in the last two weeks for bronch then catching a bug that went straight to his chest. First hospital visit high flow oxygen for four days and NG feeding tube. Second oxygen for 4 hours.

I grew up in a shoes off house. Do it automatically as does DH, DC and my family and guests. In-laws however just walk straight in even though I’ve repeatedly asked if they can remove their shoes.

10 month old and 2 year old basically live on the floor downstairs playing, it’s LVT so isn’t carpeted. Little one was discharged on Monday after having to call 999 and get him taken to hospital via an ambulance simply for catching the common cold as he’s so run down.

FIL dropped off my toddler (at their request to take her) and stormed straight through standing next to the playmat where he was playing. We reminded everyone a few days ago to remove shoes. The annoying thing is he didn’t even utter one word to me, just stood looking at baby so no need for him to come in the house. MIL took her shoes off and came through and we spoke, done handover etc. We’re trying to mitigate as much germs as possible just now and feel like I’m going mad! I know I’m unable to remove all germs but with such a poorly baby I don’t want all sorts trailed through the house if I can help it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
DaisyJo94 · 08/07/2026 23:52

We have a strict no shoes in the house policy and we don’t have children let alone a poorly baby. If people don’t like it, they don’t need to come into the home!

I do warn people and I’ve never had any issues, tradesmen bring plastic shoe covers and my friends bring slippers.

oatsotoga · 08/07/2026 23:48

My ex MIL had some shoe covers by the door and she would point them out to people when they arrived and ask for shoe covers or shoes off. See if you can get some from amazon or something.

I have always been shoes off anyway - especially now as recently moved to a new house with all white carpets!! Previously couple that lived here were child free.

BIossomtoes · 08/07/2026 23:44

WhatWouldMyMamaSay · 08/07/2026 23:15

It very much is the norm. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I went into someone’s house that was shoes on, apart from when they’ve hosted a BBQ or a garden party of some sort, and even then that’s them making an exception.

It depends on the age of the householder. It may be the norm for millennials and younger, it certainly isn’t for older generations.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 08/07/2026 23:43

Provide slippers.

SquirrelGG · 08/07/2026 23:42

WhatWouldMyMamaSay · 08/07/2026 23:15

It very much is the norm. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I went into someone’s house that was shoes on, apart from when they’ve hosted a BBQ or a garden party of some sort, and even then that’s them making an exception.

I don't live in the UK and it is not the norm here. In my almost 67 years I could count on my fingers the number of times I have been requested to remove my shoes - and probably most of those times were for "open home" house viewings.

WhatWouldMyMamaSay · 08/07/2026 23:15

SquirrelGG · 08/07/2026 22:58

Don't be so ridiculous. I can't think of anyone I know who takes their shoes off when they go inside their houses, it's not the norm here. Somehow we all seem to be healthy (or if not it's not because of inside shoes) and our houses are clean. Even the most clean freak of my friends wears shoes inside.

I like my guests to feel at home if they come to my house. I wouldn't want to visit you.

It very much is the norm. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I went into someone’s house that was shoes on, apart from when they’ve hosted a BBQ or a garden party of some sort, and even then that’s them making an exception.

SquirrelGG · 08/07/2026 22:58

IwanttoWFH · 08/07/2026 22:09

Wearing shoes in the house is disgusting. Seeing people spit and wee on pavements, dogs pooing on them etc I have no idea why anyone would wear shoes in a house. I’d lock the door and tell them they can’t come in unless they take their shoes off. Your house, your rules.

Don't be so ridiculous. I can't think of anyone I know who takes their shoes off when they go inside their houses, it's not the norm here. Somehow we all seem to be healthy (or if not it's not because of inside shoes) and our houses are clean. Even the most clean freak of my friends wears shoes inside.

I like my guests to feel at home if they come to my house. I wouldn't want to visit you.

GreenLeaf25 · 08/07/2026 22:50

In my world you don’t need the backstory. I find it disgusting that people wear shoes inside. You could get some cheap indoor slippers for guests that feel uncomfortable.

bluelavender · 08/07/2026 22:47

Buy some plastic shoe covers and keep them by the door?

VWT7 · 08/07/2026 22:46

Buy a pair of slippers or sliders as a “gift” for each of your inlaws, wrap them up, and explain when they open them, that you will keep them here at your house for them to use.

(a friend did this for me decades ago, I was well chuffed).

I currently keep a pair of indoor Crocs in the car and always take them wherever I go as a guest, I don’t wait to be asked, it just seems right and polite.

ThisOneLife · 08/07/2026 22:43

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 18:49

I understand I’m being OTT but him catching a common cold has landed him back in hospital again within a week, via ambulance etc. I’m not normally as pedantic.

You don’t catch a cold from floors!

FrustratedApples · 08/07/2026 22:41

We used to keep a few pairs of cheap slippers for visitors who found our no shoes policy difficult (eg elderly people who found our hard floors too cold).

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 22:41

WhatWouldMyMamaSay · 08/07/2026 21:20

I’ve been there OP. The common cold has left both of my children struggling to breathe and needing high flow oxygen and a feeding tube, more than once for each.

It has left me absolutely terrified of germs. Yes children are covered in germs and have constant runny noses, but when a simple runny nose leaves your child seriously ill, it is a different issue and people who have never been through that will never understand.

So aside from that it’s your house and your rules, and outdoor shoes inside is absolutely disgusting, YANBU to expect your in laws to take this one step to help prevent germs.

Thanks for your comment, someone who gets it! Im currently on high alert after everything he’s been through the past few weeks.

If the children were older, fair enough, but I literally have two children who sit and play on the floor all day. Toddler moves beyond the playmat etc and now baby is too now he’s more active. I wouldn’t let them play on the pavement and put their hands in their mouths straight after.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 08/07/2026 22:39

Its so cringey to ask folk to remove their shoes.

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 22:38

Bunnyofhope · 08/07/2026 22:19

I simply won't go in shoes off households. Sorry but not sorry. My shoes are to protect my feet, sod your carpets. I have never seen household floors that I would be happy to walk on in socks or bare feet. Especially ones with (sick) toddlers inside. Yuck.

Yuck? A 10 month old that’s been on oxygen twice within a week and a half. Are you a parent? Also,

  1. He isn’t vomiting.
  2. He wasn’t invited in, he chose to walk in.
OP posts:
tirednhn · 08/07/2026 22:37

montysmaw · 08/07/2026 22:24

Respiratory illnesses aren't really spread on shoes.

I know they aren’t spread on shoes, being told by an A&E Dr and Paediatric Dr that his immune system is shot and needs to avoid any exposure to unnecessary bugs. Just trying to take every precaution to avoid him picking anything else up just now.

OP posts:
tirednhn · 08/07/2026 22:35

PinkCatCushion · 08/07/2026 22:27

Surely there’s more germs on someone’s bare feet (fungus/bacteria) than there is on shoes (dust/dirt)?

Outdoor shoes pick up literally dog poo, urine, walked in a public toilet? Someone’s spit outside etc.

OP posts:
PinkCatCushion · 08/07/2026 22:31

Surely there’s more germs on someone’s bare feet (fungus/bacteria) than there is on shoes (dust/dirt)?

PinkCatCushion · 08/07/2026 22:27

Surely there’s more germs on someone’s bare feet (fungus/bacteria) than there is on shoes (dust/dirt)?

IsThisLifeNow · 08/07/2026 22:24

Shoes off house here, and it really riles me up that my brother and his family never take their shoes off in my home despite them being a militant no shoe house themselves. Like standing over you when you come it and telling you to remove them. So maybe you just have to do that, be more forceful!

montysmaw · 08/07/2026 22:24

tirednhn · 08/07/2026 18:49

I understand I’m being OTT but him catching a common cold has landed him back in hospital again within a week, via ambulance etc. I’m not normally as pedantic.

Respiratory illnesses aren't really spread on shoes.

Bunnyofhope · 08/07/2026 22:19

I simply won't go in shoes off households. Sorry but not sorry. My shoes are to protect my feet, sod your carpets. I have never seen household floors that I would be happy to walk on in socks or bare feet. Especially ones with (sick) toddlers inside. Yuck.

Weeellokthen · 08/07/2026 22:16

Baby/no baby, ill baby/well baby, is neither here nor there. Your house, your rules.
End of

Octavia64 · 08/07/2026 22:10

In your house you can say.

some elderly and/or disabled people have trouble taking their shoes off though. Obviously you will know if FIL falls into that category or not.

I am disabled myself and pretty much stopped visiting my in laws because they were a shoes off household and I had a supportive “boot” that wasn’t supposed to be taken off for about a year.

(win win in my opinion!)

IwanttoWFH · 08/07/2026 22:09

Wearing shoes in the house is disgusting. Seeing people spit and wee on pavements, dogs pooing on them etc I have no idea why anyone would wear shoes in a house. I’d lock the door and tell them they can’t come in unless they take their shoes off. Your house, your rules.