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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think teenage love is just part of growing up?

29 replies

YellowBirdSong · 08/07/2026 17:34

Son is 15 and is totally in love with his girlfriend of same age. She feels the same. They have lots in common and seem to genuinely get on incredibly well.

A relative thinks it’s too much to say they love each other and tries to play it down to me like I shouldn’t be allowing it. I know it may well all end in tears but isn’t this all part of growing up?

I remember how strongly I felt about one particular person in my teens. Heartbroken when he ditched me and spent hours crying over him. I learned a lot from that relationship. He was actually a dick which I realised in time !!

it doesn’t affect school as they are at different schools. They both see friends and do their own hobbies etc. I feel like it’s a special thing when you connect with someone as it doesn’t happen all that often throughout life. (I haven’t said that to him).

yabu - teens are too young to deal with these strong emotions and should be discouraged

yanbu - it’s all part of growing up and a learning process for future relationships

OP posts:
LondonKara · 08/07/2026 17:42

I've noticed a bit of a cultural shift over the past generation. We used to think as you do, that this was all normal and expected. I myself was in an intense (but otherwise healthy and appropriate) relationship at 16 and so were several friends. I don't feel it did me any lasting damage and look back on that time with affection, although I have sometimes wished I hadn't sacrificed so much time with friends.

However I've noticed nowadays it's more common to think that it's too young and age to handle big emotions, sex and the intensity of it all, and it distracts from schoolwork and so on. You'll see the "strictly no boyfriends until 18" and "no one that age is mature enough to be sexually active" brigade on here.

I'm somewhere in the middle, I think it's good that it's become acceptable to not have a girlfriend or boyfriend until a later age and that it's now more okay for those who want to wait to do so. But I also don't like the blanket "it's too young" approach either, I believe some are ready at that age like your son sounds to be, some aren't and both are fine. It becomes not-fine when it's so intense it is to the exclusion of everything else, like friendships.

Stade197 · 08/07/2026 17:40

I met my partner at 16, been together 20 years. My parents met at 15, still together now so some teen relationships are very real and do last, and if they don't that's great to learn from

peachykeenjellybean1981 · 08/07/2026 17:40

My 17 year old daughter was in a relationship for 18 months when she was 15. They were ‘in love’ and I was dreading them breaking up as I thought she would be distraught, right as she was doing her GCSE’s. In the end, he became very possessive and controlling and she broke up with him 2 weeks after their prom. She said she didn’t want to be a relationship where she felt stifled and walking on eggshells. I was beyond proud of her. She had done at 16 what I didn’t do til I was 40. She realised her relationship was toxic, decided she was worth more and dumped him!!
it was a harsh but necessary life lesson. She knows what she is worth and what she wants from a relationship

Rizzz · 08/07/2026 17:39

Why are you so mentally involved in a simple young teenage relationship, that you’re discussing it with a relative and Mumsnet?

Teenagers have been dating since time began.