AIBU to think teenage love is just part of growing up?

In what way is it not Love? Tell the nosy relative to support it or say nothing. I was certainly in love at 16, and still friends with the person to this day. Heck, we still love each other, though of course now it as friends. Down playing it tells them their feelings don't matter, which is ridiculous. Having those feelings is part of maturing.

I barely did this. Had loads of boyfriends, flirtations (little tart that I was!) and then nothing at all too for ages but I did have an 18 month relationship at 16 where I thought I was in love. What did I know?!

Met my ex when I was 16. Madly in love for over 20 years. Split 16 yes ago. Coparented and still socialise for cerain things. It was you getting love for a long time. Age is sometimes irrelevant, especially as a teen and 1st love. What they feel is real, albeit naive and immature (as in not a mature love). Your relative sounds weird

I can beat that we were both 15 when we got together and now married for 61 years .

All perfectly normal and you sound like you have a very sensible approach, OP!

I met my husband at 16, got engaged at 18 and married at 22. We've been together 30 years and married for 25 so it happens. I just knew he was a decent man.
On the other hand, our DD met a boy when they were both 15, they were together for 6 years but she felt he wasn't the one so she moved on.
Who knows where things will go if you don't treat things seriously?

What a wonderfully helpful and thoughtful comment.

Why does anyone discuss anything on Mumsnet??

My son got together with his first girlfriend at 15 and were together for two years. First sexual experience for both and at the time they were practically naming their children! But it ran its course (helped along by the pandemic). When they talked about the future we just smiled and went along with it - yes it could last but unlikely too (my stepson has been married for 8 years to his first girlfriend he met at 16, so I know it happens),
Love at that age is as legitimate as at any age. It may be shorter lived, but may not. It’s very patronising to say they don’t know what love means - you don’t til you experience it and that’s what they are doing! As for ‘not allowing it’, just what are you expected to do?

Interesting question. All about balance, if the relationship seems ‘healthy’, they are still seeing friends/hobbies etc and the lines of communication are open with parents, then I don’t think it’s too young.

In all honesty, having a ‘boyfriend’ at 15 didnt work out well for me. I was so consumed by my ‘first love’ at 15 and was devastated for ages when he dumped me. But I also realise now how toxic it was and how pressured I felt into having sex (he dumped me after) when I just wasn’t ready which unfortunately had consequences. I couldn’t really talk openly about sex/relationships with my mum which I think made the difference between something that might have been normal part of growing up and what I consider to be part of a traumatic part of my life.

I know a happily married pair who started dating aged 15 and are still together over fifty years later! So it can happen… just not that often, tbh.

I had boyfriends throughout secondary school and sixth form as a teen- and genuinely had deep feelings for them, and possibly really loved one. The relationships would last anything from 6 months to 2-3 years! I still managed to get good grades, do well at uni and succeed in life. They weren't a huge distraction, but I enjoyed spending time with them and learning about relationships.

In fact, those early semi-serious (as serious as you can be as a teen with no responsibilities!) were a good chance to make some mistakes without it being catastrophic and learn what traits to avoid when I was an adult! One breakup I recall being really very upset (I was 18 by then) and once out the other side I promised never to get so low about a man ever again - and I've kept that promise (so far.... I've been with DH for 16 years and have 2 DCs, so if it went south with him I'd maybe allow myself to grieve!)

I think it's normal and teen relationships can last, but at the same time I think they're the minority.

I wouldn't be encouraging DC to have intense romantic relationships at that age, but if it happened and it seemed healthy I'd support them.

My first proper relationship was 20-25. I was absolutely crushed by it's end, and took a decade to get over. I wonder if it would have been better to date around more beforehand - if it would have made me more confident that I'd find love again. I'm not sure though. First love is difficult.

I definitely loved my first proper boyfriend, lost my virginity to him at 17, then we went off to uni and I'd dumped him at 19 when I realised how much more there was to life!

Let them enjoy it, they'll last or they won't, like every single relationship!

Ahh young love! Of course it's normal and healthy - I had a boyfriend at 15 who I was absolutely head over heels in love with! It's all so intense because it's all new, you haven't become cynical yet and the hormones are raging 😂 we broke up after a few months and I cried for weeks and weeks. I've seen him a few times in adulthood and although it's lovely to chat and catch up, I wouldn't fancy the bald, middle aged version of him 😏

I met my husband at 17, married him at 18 and still married to him now at 55! So sometimes young love does last ☺️

I've been thinking about this a lot recently.

When I was that age I was consumed with boys, at the expense of achieving my academic potential and to the detriment of some friendships. A lot of our worth (my peers included) was tied to how desirable we were to the opposite sex, and how invested they were in us.

My teens are their pals are very different. Romantic relationships are secondary to friendships, hobbies and niche interests.

I think it's great for them. I wish I'd been more like them. But I also loved all the drama and butterflies of early love.

As long as it's not to the detriment of other aspects of their lives, I think it's fine.

‘In love’ at that age is most often hormone driven. I was in love with my boyfriend at 17, but by 19 had outgrown him. I still cherish my first love, and yes it was love but it’s a different kind of love at that age. There’s a reason the Greeks had so many words for ‘love’. Try not to label it. Just let them work through it. Of all my peers I know 3 people who are still with the person they met and loved at 15!

Because when it's happening in your house, you love the person it's affecting and are in tune with the tiniest nuances of their mood, it's part of your life too.
My DC has recently split with their partner of 4 years, and we all miss this person in our family life, having got so used to them being around all the time.

It’s a part of growing up if you’re lucky, and probably straight. Let’s just say my chances of experiencing it as a closeted teen in a deeply homophobic rural school were small. Though yes, I’m sure it would have been useful.

I met my partner when we were both 18. We're in our thirties now.

They may go the distance or they make break up in 2 weeks, but right now they feel they are happy and in love and it seems that they are keeping up with school, friends and hobbies I don’t see an issue.

My mum made me break up with a boyfriend at that age and I absolutely hated her for it.