AIBU to bring my young children only to the reception?

Could you stay over in someone else’s room? Otherwise bring them to the ceremony, and leave by 10pm. I’d just point out to your sister that you were trying to spare her the ceremony being disrupted as 2 18 months olds will be hard work, but if she doesn’t mind…. Your husband can always take them out.

This is a perfect opportunity to leave the kids with their dad and celebrate your sister’s wedding with your family.

Or it could work out well if they nap in their pushchair?

You aren't having to pay hotel costs so I would have thought you going home in a taxi so a justifiable expense for your sister's wedding unless totally financially impossible.

Well I don't think that was a particularly fair thought, given that OP was upset about it (and understandably so). It would have been nicer to ask her.

It’s been a decade or so since I’ve had an 18 month old but it also occurs to me that a wedding ceremony starting at 2pm has the potential to clash quite spectacularly with afternoon nap time if they’re still having them at that point (which both of mine were)! You’d presumably want to arrive at the latest ten minutes before the ceremony, so leaving your house before 130, getting them ready before this…..if it was me I’d want to avoid the possibility of having to manage not just one but two overtired toddlers at a wedding ceremony, or toddlers who’d just fallen asleep in the car before arriving!

I do think if you are travelling home after, one of you not drinking is smart, i wouldn’t be wanting to wrangle kids into a taxi, but fine to have them up as late as they manage, it’s lovely to hear of a bride who wants kids at their wedding

Can’t they come a bit earlier so they are there for the wedding but your husband can whip them outside if one or more is disruptive. Then i wouldn’t worry about the evening, take the pushchair for the twins to nap in and I’m sure the older one will love dancing. Mine generally went to sleep under a table when they got tired. Can’t you use your parents room if the kids need an hour to rest/time out?

I agree with the pp upthread who said that the ceremony is the key part. If your sister is happy for kids to be thee then I'd take them - or at least plan to! You can take a bag of toys and snacks and your and DH can tag team during the ceremony if they need to be taken out or anything.

I mean, it's not going to be the most relaxing of days for you but if it means a lot to your sister to have them there then I'd take them. You can leave in the evening when you feel they have had enough.

Sorry I meant each having your own time off, to see friends etc. I know atm you have young babies but unless you’re exclusively breastfeeding, can you try and get a break?

You said you haven’t had a day away since your daughter was born but I realise there probably wasn’t a big gap between pregnancies so no judgment.

The OP already explained the sister thought it would be too much for her to be bridesmaid with 3 little kids.

Hmmm I totally get the stress! If you compromise and bring them, are there family
members who can be ‘responsible’ for a particular child, or at least one other family member, so you are not wrangling 2!

if she wants them at the ceremony then I’d bring them. Let them go home with husband after the meal (I think this is non negotiable, they’re not old enough to just sleep on a chair… it not the 80s) and you get a taxi? The money you save on a hotel room will pay for a taxi! Or stay over with a family member and jump in their car? Husband will cope for one night, this isn’t unreasonable and you deserve to enjoy! If he’s nervous could his friend/ family member stay over at your house for moral support? Offer him a night away before the wedding!

So she's not that family orientated then is she! Unless there's been some massive rift she's bang out of order having your brother and cousin but not you, and then making these demands about your plans. Not saying it would be wise to say it yourself, but someone needs to tell her to take her head out of her arse!

If the bride wants the 3 little kids at the wedding and reception then she should have prioritised accomodation at the hotel for them. She didn't even bother including her own sister in the wedding party.

Your plan sounds perfect @Cherrytree696 ... but if you take @susiedaisy1912 's plan of running amok ... make sure to fill them full of sugar so they don't crash out too early!

Are you a bit upset you aren’t in the wedding party?

Why can’t you all stay in the hotel?!

That’s a very thoughtful and considerate plan. I’m baffled why your family don’t think so.

Although the fact that they haven’t prioritised a room for you in the hotel, shows they don’t have a firm grasp on what’s involved in having kids at an event like this. I’ve booked rooms even when we weren’t staying the night, just to have a base.

Tell your sister fine, you will bring them to the ceremony but they will need to be able to move around during it and will probably be noisy.