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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder whether I should report an accidental offence?

197 replies

AccidentalCriminal · 08/07/2026 15:57

So I recently found out that I unknowingly and unwittingly broke the law last year.

No victim involved and I honestly and truly didn't know I'd done it.

Would you report yourself or just accept you got away with it?

A criminal conviction would destroy my career. But I also feel terrible that I've done something illegal.

WWYD?

OP posts:
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Asisaid · 10/07/2026 06:01

Very lucky that you happened to check the expiry date on your DL. As that would have been another driving crime!

A reminder letter would have been sent to your old address but you obviously missed that too.

As I say, if you really do feel terrible, is there literally no one in real life you can talk to about it?

Areyoumouldy · 09/07/2026 22:27

You’ve done me a favour, reminded me that my MOT runs out on Monday and I’ve been putting off booking it in.

Original poster
AccidentalCriminal · 09/07/2026 22:08

Toohotforwork · 09/07/2026 18:46

'The fact the OP made a mumsnet post to discuss that they feel bad is quite a big indicator that they are worried. Most people would just file it and move on.

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Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Asisaid · 09/07/2026 18:55

Do you have anyone in real life that you could confide in if this is making you feel terrible?

Asisaid · 09/07/2026 18:55

AccidentalCriminal · 09/07/2026 18:16

They have a date on!?

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Can’t remember the last time I checked mine! Impressive that you did! But the DVLA send out reminders for DL 1-2 months before expiry, which was how I knew to renew.

Toohotforwork · 09/07/2026 18:46

Inprep · 09/07/2026 06:18

Well you’ve managed to convey pretty much the opposite of “feeling trouble” in the majority of your posts.

Have you told anyone in RL about this?

Edited
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'The fact the OP made a mumsnet post to discuss that they feel bad is quite a big indicator that they are worried. Most people would just file it and move on.

Mcgriddle · 09/07/2026 18:27

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Mcgriddle · 09/07/2026 18:26

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Original poster
AccidentalCriminal · 09/07/2026 18:16

This reply has been deleted

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They have a date on!?

OP posts:
Original poster
AccidentalCriminal · 09/07/2026 18:15

igelkott2026 · 09/07/2026 16:57

I didn't get my road tax reminder one year and drove for several weeks before I then got a letter saying it was overdue (this was before you had to do SORN etc).

I just paid quickly and moved on with my life.

I did the late MOT thing once many years ago. Had the date of my old car in my head.

OP posts:
Mcgriddle · 09/07/2026 17:59

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igelkott2026 · 09/07/2026 16:57

I didn't get my road tax reminder one year and drove for several weeks before I then got a letter saying it was overdue (this was before you had to do SORN etc).

I just paid quickly and moved on with my life.

Original poster
AccidentalCriminal · 09/07/2026 14:51

This reply has been deleted

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Alone, yes.

OP posts:
Inprep · 09/07/2026 13:59

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Original poster
AccidentalCriminal · 09/07/2026 12:51

Inprep · 09/07/2026 06:18

Well you’ve managed to convey pretty much the opposite of “feeling trouble” in the majority of your posts.

Have you told anyone in RL about this?

Edited
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I see. Well I'm sorry if you've interpreted my posts that way, but apart from saying several times that I feell guilty and embarrassed I'm not sure what else I can say.

No I haven't, for obvious reasons.

OP posts:
mumumental · 09/07/2026 09:41

anniegun · 08/07/2026 16:01

Accidental money laundering on behalf of a convicted fraudster? Resign and ask the people of Clacton.

😂

randomchap · 09/07/2026 07:53

Don't report yourself, there's been no actual victim.

But stop speeding, and drive more carefully.

Inprep · 09/07/2026 06:18

AccidentalCriminal · 08/07/2026 22:10

I'm not sure how I could convince you, it's not particularly easy to convey emotion in anonymous posting.

Show quote history

Well you’ve managed to convey pretty much the opposite of “feeling trouble” in the majority of your posts.

Have you told anyone in RL about this?

NerrSnerr · 08/07/2026 23:13

Similar happened to us a few years back. My car was registered in my husband’s name (I was main driver on insurance). We forgot to change the address on the registration and I got a driving fine I didn’t know about. By the time we had found out I can’t remember if it was a summons to court or if they took it to court in his absence. He spoke to DVLA and he was faced with 6 extra points (so 9 in total) or 6 points in total and a bigger fine. He didn’t go to court in person and took the 6 points and bigger fine. Him getting insurance was a ball ache for a while (he has to take the points/ fine as it had gone beyond officially nominating me- we did tell them it was me driving!)

Quantumphysicality · 08/07/2026 23:01

What some people don’t seem to realise is that 2 minor speeding offences would normally lead to a driving awareness course for the first and 3 points for the second. Someone with 3 points isn’t considered a terrible driver by most people.

The OP had not updated her details with the DVLA. Her fault, as she accepts, but the result is that she wouldn’t have received 2 NIPs, or subsequent summons, and therefore had 12 points and a totting ban for the same offences.

Alrhough she was unaware, she was still committing the offence of driving whilst disqualified. Her insurance would either have been void or voidable, depending on the policy, but we can’t tell that from here, and it doesn’t matter now.

It seems the OP is not an unusually bad driver, or she would have been stopped during the 6 months of the ban for some violation.

OP priorities now should be:

  • making 100% sure her insurance company knows the details (as otherwise is fraud and insurance could be voided)
  • contacting the convicting court to find out the fine details as otherwise it could be sent out to bailiffs or lead to a warrant for unpaid fines. That is the priority over paying to alleviate guilty feelings.
SilenceInside · 08/07/2026 22:22

Duplicate post….

SilenceInside · 08/07/2026 22:22

duplicate post…

SilenceInside · 08/07/2026 22:22

@AccidentalCriminal channel the guilt and embarrassment into efforts to make sure that nothing like this can happen again. You’ve updated all your details which is great, if you move house again will you have systems in place to make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes again?

Are you happy that you are more aware of speed limits and therefore less likely to get points for speeding? If not, what changes can you make?

There’s little point in ruminating constantly about this if you are going to take the feelings and channel them into action. Otherwise, you’re just using this event as an opportunity for negative self talk because you generally feel guilty or embarrassed about other things and don’t want to address them instead.

Original poster
AccidentalCriminal · 08/07/2026 22:14

Green6 · 08/07/2026 22:08

OP, it sounds like you are a bit overwhelmed at the moment and could do with some help. I would forget wasting energy over potentially turning yourself in - and instead focus that energy into ensuring nothing like this happens again, which are this stage is much more important. Have you updated your address for all key things now?

I have, thank you 😊
You're right, I have a lot going on at the moment and for whatever reason I am.reallt ruminating on this. Despite accusations from other posters I feel both guilty and embarrassed.

OP posts:
Green6 · 08/07/2026 22:13

I don't think this is about the crime. I think for some reason you feel generally guilty and like a bad person and this is an outlet. You aren't a bad person, I am sure. But you don't need to prove you are good by shooting yourself in the foot. I would encourage you to get some therapy to work out where the underlying feeling comes from.

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