To not attend this party as it’s at the child’s home?

Arent most kids parties at homes? Most of the ones we go to are. It’ll seem weird if your kid doesnt go, and sad for him.

Can't you just drop him off and go?

I am also grateful that there's no such thing as "drop and run" parties for the younger ones around here, and it's beyond rude not to supervise your own child.

I am amazed by so many posters who WANT to host house parties and absolutely do not want the parents to stay!

You need to give your children an appropriate level of freedom where they can be trusted to be supervised by their friends parent at their house.
They learn rules from you and they'll learn the rules of their friends house.

If your child is not able to behave themselves in that environment then they won't ever learn if you just bar them from having playdates at others houses.

Well I suppose if he can’t be relied upon to not get so over excited/manic/ whatever you want to term it and you think he’ll end up trashing the house then don’t send him. They are only 5 so I’m sure it won’t ruin his future friendships 😀 we had two boys at my DS party recently who were really badly behaved, rude and destructive and I’d have been frankly delighted had their parents decided they couldn’t behave enough to come. Appreciate he is 5 but he’s had a year at school so should be capable of understanding the need for care with stuff. Obviously accidents happen though but this sounds like you have bigger worries than just that.

Why not tell him that if he misbehaves at the party you will hear about it and he will be punished? You can wring your hands all you like about 'different times' in terms of discipline but in the end it's up to you to make sure he knows what is expected of him and to deliver a memorable piece of fallout if he fails to behave. What was your response that last time you witnessed him misbehaving at the party?

Tell him he must behave as if he's at school at lesson time when he's at the party (and you need to come down hard on his misbehavior in school too - what unpleasant experience did you dish out on the occasions when you had reports of his behaviour there?)

The more parents keep lowering the bar, only taking them to places where they can behave like young apes, and the less decorum they expect from children, the less chance children get to learn how to conduct themselves.

I had quite a few parties at home when the dc were little, and I don't remember anything getting broken. I think it's a shame to decline the invitation for that reason personally, but you know your child best.

Do you know how many children have been invited?

I find it amazing that you care so much that you'd rather decline than creating chaos, I wish more parents were like you! Life would be better for all of us.

He needs to learn to behave, for his own sake, or he will miss out on every playdate and will never go anywhere.

I think he will probably be much better behaved if you are not there. Children usually behave better for other people .
How does he behave at school? He must be used to being with other children and know how to behave.
Presumably the party hosts the have organised games and things for them to do that will keep him occupied.

I don't think my kids have ever been invited to a single home party.

Playdates, sleepovers yes, but actual parties? never.
I would never host a kids party at home either 😂

We had all DC parties at home until they were in P7/P7. I’m a teacher. 12 small children for a couple of hours is pretty damn easy! Lots of well-organised party games will keep them busy. Parents can relax with a wee glass of bubbly.

Not forever! But I'm actually with OP. I wish I hadn't done any household parties with my kid until he was a bit older like 7 or 8.

I was definitely as young. When my brother was 7, I was 5 and we have photos of parties at home from the time I was 3.

It won't just be this one party though, are you going to force your child to miss out on lots of parties just because they happen to be at the child's house? I'd say around 50% of the parties my kids are invited to are at someone's home. It would never cross my mind to make them miss out! All kids get silly at parties, I'd assume the hosts would account for that and not let anything valuable be in reach of the kids. Your poor child will really miss out if this is a rule you enforce.

I definitely know friendships which have broken down after kids caused damage at other kids' parties. My son used to get hyper at parties too and in retrospect I wish I'd just kept him home as (1) it was stressful for me chasing him round and (2) even though he never broke anything as I always managed him, it gave other families an unfair impression of his behavior as he would get so overexcited at parties they thought he would be hyper on playdates where actually he would always be calm and well behaved in general.

It’s normal to have parties at people’s homes! All my DC parties were at home, as were the vast majority of their friends. Nothing got broken. Surely you don’t stay with your child at age five?

It’ll be in the garden anyway surely?

If your child is 5 why do you need to go with him to the party?
When my children were that age they had parties at home. I didn't expect their parents to attend.
I can't remember anything being broken.
Surely people with children have other children in their homes all the time and if they are holding a party at home they will be aware and relaxed about the disruption.
Are you generally anxious about things? Does your child never normally go to friends houses to play? It all seems very sad