To not attend this party as it’s at the child’s home?

I’ve hosted all my kids’ parties at home, from aged 3! We couldn’t afford venues.

Good grief! How badly behaved is your child if you’re worried about them breaking things? My daughter never broke anything at a house party, and none of her friends ever broke anything when we had parties at home. I moved really special things out of the way before the party started and it was made clear to the children that they weren’t allowed upstairs during the party.

I expect they’ll be mainly in the garden (if it’s not too hot). However yanbu to not to take your child if you can’t trust him to behave.

I'd ask if I can stay as you fear he will become very over-excited and naughty. If the parents won't let you stay with a five year old then on their heads be it, basically.

This. They would have tucked their valuables and delicate items out of the way presumably.

Any indication as to what sort of home party and how many kids? We had 17 kids over for a home party for my DS 5th birthday which would have been hell if they were just charging around, but we had animals come and visit so they were all sat in a circle beautifully saying hi and then I chucked them outside for half an hour while we had cake and food for the charging bit. Very much depends on numbers and the plan. I'd contact the parents and explain your concerns and just see what they say.

What exactly do you mean by 'a different time regarding discipline'? Do you mean children were better behaved?

@hiddenforest it sounds like you don't want to go because you will be anxious.
So just drop your son off and let him enjoy the party.
I doubt the hosts want you hanging about anyway!
So long as your child doesn't have any special needs or behavioural difficulties you don't need to follow him round at birthday parties.

Yep sounds like the kind of kids my boys would have been friends with at that age.

They are all older now and lovely by the way.

So are they insisting you drop and go due to space OP? For YR and Y1 parties round our way people generally say you can choose to stay or go. I wouldn't have hosted bunch of 5 year olds in my house without at least a few of their parents staying and I wouldn't have left mine at a party at that age (though in our case there's SEN involved).

If the weathers nice they may be outside most of the time, not running around inside breaking things. If the hosts are brave enough to have it at home that's really their decision, you could mention your son gets a bit over excited so they are forewarned.

It's not your parenting. The fact you care about his behaviour shows you are a good mum.

As he moves through school you will see kids mature at different rates. Some walk into school already reading, others take a few years to pick it up. Some can draw a beautiful picture by age 6, others are still doing stick people. None of these things make a difference to kids' later exam results or overall life chances.

I don't understand why we don't normalize understanding that self control and socially appropriate behaviour is a learned skill just like reading and maths, and just as we understand some kids take longer than others or need a bit of extra help to learn these things, same it is for self control and behaviour management and that's totally ok and normal

Thankfully I have a complete different experience!

Parents look after their own kids and manage toilet break and everything, and are also responsible of their safety and to ensure they don't leave the place or anything stupid.

They've never intruded with the kids activities, parents just chat with a coffee or a drink and kids get on with it. It's no-one dream way of spending a couple of hours, but kids are entertained and how do you meet people and make friends if you never have a chat with them?

Parties are not free childcare

Lol your kids must have much better behaved friends than my kids.

The first drop off party we did at our house* when son 6 the little 6 year old kids WRECKED my house. It was meant to be outside, then it rained and they came in, the entertainer lost the crowd and it was mayhem. Every single drawer emptied, our clothes thrown all over the place, presents opened and broken. Food taken and rubbed into every single bed, sofa and rug. It was like a crowd of baboons.

Anyway I'm not too precious about my stuff but it took days to clear up.

*bit off more than we could chew. Thought some parents would stay back to help where actually all of them were DELIGHTED to have a few hours away from their offspring so dropped and ran

I have fond memories of friends birthday parties when I was a kid (in the 80’s and 90’s), it was rare that a party wasn’t at someone’s house unless it was in the village hall. I do remember things getting broken, spillages and playing hide and seek in big farm houses. I am sure it’s to be expected that kids may get a bit excited and things may get broken. If it’s over the summer it’s likely to be mainly outdoors? I wouldn’t worry too much, the parents would have considered things might get a little crazy. My kids have been to a few house parties and they have all been really good…mainly BBQ and garden parties.

I love that parents are still doing house parties rather than the boring standard soft play or bouncy castle at the village hall type.

I've done a lot of home parties for my kids.....I actually prefer it to doing parties out. I remove anything that I would be sad if it got broken - its not that hard.
I'm hosting DS9 party this year at home again. 12 x 9 years olds. Parents are welcome to stay. I'll remove the irreplaceable if broken items because although they are 9....you never know what might happen when 12 9 year old boys get together.

Come on, he's 5!

Kids develop at different rates.

My boy at 3 - monster everywhere
At 5 - would behave beautifully at school and playdates, still lose the plot at parties. not because he didn't know how to behave but because he'd be so overwhelmed he'd forget himself
By 7 - fine in all settings

In my day all parties were at home! And no, I can't recall anyone smashing anything. I can remember one kid stealing my toy tho, ha.

I should imagine in this weather that the children will be making the most of the garden.

I will tell you why I was delighted when drop and run became a thing - because I do not want to have to entertain/chat/find a job for multiple parents (why do both often come and with small siblings?!? When I want to run and enjoy my own child’s party. By and large many do not supervise, they stand about drinking tea and coffee that I am providing or getting in the way. OR they hover over child and become a pain - child less likely to join in etc I will always have drafted in enough adults that are useful and will help so that I do not need parents staying too. Plus kids more often that not are far more likely to join in if they are just with their mates rather than a mum or dad hovering.

I think you need to learn to manage your stress levels before it hinders your child.

I get it, kids loaded up on sugar can be different beasts than they are ordinarily, but the hosts know and expect this to be the case. Personally I hate at home parties because I cant be bothered with the prep and cleanup 😂 But I've often had a few kids in one go over to play and it's expected they get giddy.

If you can't manage your stress (you've mentioned your stress a few times in this thread) then I think going forward your son will miss out on a lot.